Robert Rodriguez delivers on his fictitious trailer from “Grindhouse: Planet Terror” (2007) and released the feature, “Machete” (2010), starring Danny Trejo as a Federale nicknamed after his favored titular weapon. Machete’s tragic past, hatred of corruption and badass aura put him in the crosshairs of a political campaign, vigilantes, The Network, an underground system for undocumented workers, and his drug lord nemesis.
Rodriguez stylized “Machete” to look as if he filmed the feature decades ago and as if the viewers were watching a worn film reel complete with skips, sprocket holes and other old film effects. If the acting seems dreadful, instead of critiquing the actors, consider that it may be a deliberate choice to evoke the type of actors who would ordinarily appear in an exploitation, low budget, action film. The film shifts from Mexico to Texas, and Rodriguez uses the Brown Country/yellow lens filter to indicate that even when much of the film unfolds in Texas, the viewer is supposed to be reading the film as Mexican, foreign or third world, and not really consider the action as occurring in the United States. While many critique this filter as racist, is Rodriguez using it as an empowerment tool to visually reclaim Texas for Mexico?
“Machete” is not set in a specific time period, but there are cell phones and DVDs so it could be during the nineties to early twenty-first century. The film’s sensibility harkens back to the 1970s with nudity and sensationalized violence. The camera ogles women who are primarily framed as sex objects. If the titular hero is as old as Trejo, then a man in his sixties inexplicably pulls at least three to four hot, younger chicks through the course of the film because he exudes machismo.
Rodriguez invites viewers to see “Machete” with the promise of fulfilling their prurient fascination with gore and sex. Gratuitous violence usually draws me in, and I enjoy Rodriguez’s films: “Desperado” (1995), “From Dusk Till Dawn” (1996), “The Faculty” (1998), “Spy Kids” (2001), “Sin City” (2005) and the aforementioned grindhouse entry, but those films had a meatier story whereas “Machete” feels as if a brainstorming session was strung together. While some of the threads are politically prophetic, especially considering the events of 2016, the devotion to homage outweighs the actual standalone product.
“Machete” starts and ends with a bang but sustaining viewer interest depends on how delighted you will be with the way that Rodriguez invents new ways to hurt people. I ridiculed myself for being surprised at the outset of random violence, “Oh wow is a movie named after a machete going to be violent and graphic?!? Who could have guessed!” A lot of people died seconds after they appeared on screen before I could become invested in them. That opener established an expectation and set me up to not get invested with anyone until the denouement. There is no character development, and the characters are not innately fascinating unless you enjoy the tropes that they represent so I found it hard to look at the movie as more than a spoof film. I paused the film a lot, got distracted and found it difficult to finish.
Rodriguez begs for laughs in a deadpan delivery, but he can only invoke Chekhov’s gun so many times before the next moment becomes predictable. Did two characters banter about intestines’ length? Why is that corkscrew on the counter? While I may nod with appreciation, Rodriguez fulfilling his foreshadowing felt tedious and needy as if he is your friend who just got into improv and is always trying to push tickets on you. We get it! You are willing to go there. Yawn! Oh look, incest jokes. Is this movie ever going to end?
Even if deliberate and conscious, a lot of bad acting just feels like bad acting. Steven Segal as a villain had a chilling effect that made me regret choosing to watch “Machete.” His presence sucked the charisma out of the room, and he never convinced me that he was a credible threat. Jessica Alba plays an ICE agent, and she manages to keep a straight face during a lot of bad dialogue, but the deliberate performance is cringey. DeNiro plays a Texas senator, and his dreadful good old boy schtick is part of the act. DeNiro’s persona becomes part of the punchline whereas Lindsay Lohan as a stung-out daughter was a bit on the nose. Tom “Sex Machine” Savini and Cheech Marin gave suitable genre performances. Jeff Fahey and Don Johnson do their job. Boardwalk Empire’s Shea Whigham is too good for this movie. No.
Michelle Rodriguez stood out as Luz, a food truck owner and possible suspect as She, a revolutionary figure in The Network. No disrespect intended to Trejo, who deserves the spotlight after decades of hard work and being a decent, affable human being who strikes awe by existing, but when people begged for Machete to lead the revolution, it seemed ridiculous when Luz was right there. Her character was the most innately interesting, and in the final battle, she was the most fun. Michelle Rodriguez’s acting style does not really change from project to project, but her depiction of Luz evoked a more mysterious and fascinating past than Machete’s fridging backstory. While Machete posed an impressive threat, the movie feels like a list of his failures rather than successes whereas she had one set back which enabled her to level up. Machete is going to screw up the revolution!
Eventually “Machete” starts to gain momentum as it moves towards a showdown, but it is not until the end of the film when the crap hits the fan that it becomes fun starting with the Senator dropping the act and revealing his true colors. Please note what type of car he leaps into after he exits a limo! At that point in the film, the movie made me laugh and did not stop, but before that point, it felt like a chore. An afterthought character, Julio, has the funniest exchange with Machete.
Rodriguez’s delightful denouement reclaims various Mexican stereotypes and combines them with recognizable humble professions for immigrants into a triumphant call to arms and a catharsis of violence against the people who hate them. Is it worth the slog through the rest? Maybe just fast forward, but then you will not be able to appreciate how a lot of bit characters get their unexpected shine, and bad characters finally get what they deserve. It almost makes it worth watching the whole film, but once again, Seagal spoils the fun as a lumbering black hole of boredom. Seriously it is insulting to Trejo to pretend that guy could make Machete fall to his knees. No.
I am going to watch “Machete Kills” because I am a completist, not because I enjoyed “Machete.” Most of the film felt like a Saturday Night Live skit that went on too long after the first musical performance. Unlike Saturday Night Live, it improved over time and ended on a high note. I hope that I do not regret it.