The sale of Bruce Springsteen‘s catalog to Sony Music Publishing — part of a deal that also includes his master recordings, estimated to have cost Sony around $500 million overall — could mean his body of work will be exploited for considerably more commercial licensing. But what sort of syncs are his songs specifically suited for? We have a few suggestions, because we do like to help a publisher out when they’ve just emptied their pockets.
Some modest proposals for Springsteen ad syncs waiting to happen:
“If I Should Fall Behind”: Lifeline
For when you’ve fallen behind and you can’t get up.
“Mansion on the Hill”: Zillow
You know you want it.
“Working on a Dream”: Lunesta
Because the working class shouldn’t have to work so hard at just getting a little shut-eye.
“Prove It All Night”: Viagra
Because the night is made for prove-it-all-nighters.
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“Blinded by the Light”: Ring Floodlight Cams
Potential prowlers will be lit up like a douche into the middle of the night, or something like that.
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“I’m on Fire”: Prilosec
Does it feel like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull, and cut a six-inch valley through the middle of your digestive tract? Well, there’s a cure for that.
“Brilliant Disguise”: Estee Lauder
God have mercy on the man who doubts she’s going to look that good once the concealer comes off.
“Ramrod”: Viagra
(See: “Prove It All Night.”)
“Devils & Dust”: Dirt Devil Vacuums
Woody Guthrie lived in a Dust Bowl, but you shouldn’t have to.
“Kitty’s Back”: Pet Chip Registry
Well, who’s that down at the end of the alley? She’s been gone so long. Here she comes, here she comes!
“Drive All Night”: Viagra
(See: “Ramrod.”)
“The Ties That Bind”: Glad Tall Kitchen Bags
In garbage, as in love, avoid messy disasters.
“Wreck on the Highway”: Honda’s Automatic Braking System
Everyone loves a good, tragic cautionary tale.
“My Beautiful Reward”: Morongo Casino Resort & Spa
Slots heaven: it’s less than a two-hour drive from L.A., you know.
“No Surrender”: Viagra
(See: “Drive All Night.”)
“The Ghost of Tom Joad”: Ram Trucks
Think how much more reliable the Joad family’s road trip west would have been with Ram. Wherever there’s a jalopy breaking down on the side of the road, they’ll be there, for a test drive.
“Tougher Than the Rest”: Ram Trucks
A little too on-the-nose, maybe, so only if for some dumb reason Sony Publishing denies use of “The Ghost of Tom Joad.”
“Outlaw Pete”: Buttigieg for President 2024
Or 2028? 2032? He can wait.
“Sleepy Joe’s Café”: Biden for President 2024
Listen, they can go with the flow on this thing.
“Born to Run”: Peloton
Ryan Reynolds, you speedy devil, it’s not too soon to pounce on this.
“Countin’ on a Miracle”: Viagra
(See: “No Surrender.”)
“The Rising”: Viagra
Someone had to go there.
“This Is Your Sword”: Viagra
And so forth.