YouTube

Two videos will enter the YouTube Slam arena each time you refresh the video-sharing site's newest section, but only one will leave. And that one video will be a step closer to the top of each week's YouTube Slam leaderboard. Which clips will your votes nudge into victory?

Those sentences would probably sound a lot better if you read them in a thunderous voice — the kind that you hear during wrestling tournaments or monster truck shows. But seeing as you're probably reading them in your own voice — or my soft squeaky one — you probably already suspect that YouTube Slam isn't as dramatic as I'm making it out to be.

Your suspicions are justified. As explained on the official YouTube blog, YouTube Slam is a little video discovery experiment created in collaboration with the folks of Google Research. It simply means that you are asked to decide which of the two videos presented to you is cuter, weirder, funnier, and so on. The clips are "scored based on your votes, and the best videos are featured on the Slam leaderboard."

As you vote for videos, you'll earn points for predicting the "crowd favorites." You'll be able to see just how good your choices are when you check the player leaderboard at the end of each week.

There are separate sections for different types of clips: A Dance Slam for videos of crazy moves, a Music Slam for "up and coming singers," a Cute Slam which appears to mostly consist of cat clips, a Comedy Slam which is full of giggle-inducing videos, and a Bizarre Slam into which YouTube's strangest clips go.

That's all there is to YouTube Slam. It's one of the simplest and most basic "games" you'll encounter, but I have a hunch it'll easily suck up plenty of your time.

Related stories:

• Man fired from Starbucks after musical YouTube rant
• YouTube Insult Generator automates online cruelty
• Rebecca Black tops YouTube's 'most watched' list

Want more tech news, silly puns or amusing links? You'll get plenty of all three if you keep up with Rosa Golijan, the writer of this post, by following her on Twitter, subscribing to her Facebook posts, or circling her on Google+.

Rooster Teeth

Whenever my iPhone acts up, I throw my hands in the air and announce that my gadget must be "spiteful" or "out to get me" somehow. But what if that wasn't just an irrational way of explaining technical hiccups? What if  Siri — the virtual assistant built into the iPhone 4S — really went evil?

The folks in comedy team Rooster Teeth must've been wondering the same thing when they made this video:

Yes, all the typical clichés are there. Yes, it's just as cheesy as any real horror movie. And yes, I am looking at my iPhone 4S suspiciously right now.

If I disappear under mysterious circumstances, tell someone to interrogate nearby Apple gadgets.

Related stories:

• Apple explains why iPhone won't find abortion centers
• Careful! Your iPhone's Siri could easily embarrass you
• My iPhone says the darndest things (thanks to Siri)

Want more tech news, silly puns, or amusing links? You'll get plenty of all three if you keep up with Rosa Golijan, the writer of this post, by following her on Twitter, subscribing to her Facebook posts, or circling her on Google+.

Google

The holiday season is here and just about everyone's getting into the spirit of things — even Google. The search engine giant has set up a website which allows folks to send delightful (and customized) video greetings to their friends.

The site is called Send a Call From Santa and it — as that name reveals — lets you create and send messages which appear to be made by dear ol' Santa.

All you have to do is click through a handful of prompts which ask about you and your message's recipient. (Some of the questions may seem silly, but you'll understand why they're necessary as soon as you preview the first video.)

Google

Once you've gotten through the questions, you'll be asked how you wish to send your video greeting — via email or Google+. Make that choice and that's it — your friend will receive a video like this one:

Related stories:

• Rebecca Black tops YouTube's 'most watched' list
• Once a year, 'Christmas' beats 'porn' ... on Google
• OkCandidate: An OkCupid for politics

Want more tech news, silly puns or amusing links? You'll get plenty of all three if you keep up with Rosa Golijan, the writer of this post, by following her on Twitter, subscribing to her Facebook posts, or circling her on Google+.

Good ol' 2011 is almost over and that means we've got some "end of the year" lists coming our way. One of my favorites? YouTube's list of the top ten most watched videos.

Yes, viewing all these videos at once feels like submerging one's head in a bathtub chock full of highly viral ear worms, but it's still a neat look at what entertained, horrified and mesmerized us over the last year.

According to the official YouTube blog, there were more than 1,000,000,000,000 — that's one trillion! — playbacks on the video sharing service this year. (That apparently breaks down to about 140 video views for every person on Earth, in case you're wondering.)

The folks at YouTube took a look at all those playbacks, threw out the ones connected to videos from major music labels, and figured out which ten clips captured the most eyeballs globally.

Rebecca Black's "Friday," a music video we love to hate, tops that list despite temporarily disappearing from YouTube at one point. She's followed by a dog who can't stop thinking about food, a catchy tune by the boys of Lonely Island (with Michael Bolton), some babbling babies, and other gems.

You can check out the full list below, but please keep in mind that some of the linked videos may contain language or content that isn't appropriate for children or work environments.

1. Rebecca Black - Friday - Official Music Video
2. Ultimate Dog Tease 
3. Jack Sparrow (feat. Michael Bolton)
4. Talking Twin Babies - PART 2 - OFFICIAL VIDEO
5. Nyan Cat [original] 
6. Look At Me Now - Chris Brown ft. Lil Wayne, Busta Rhymes (Cover by @KarminMusic)
7. The Creep (feat. Nicki Minaj & John Waters)
8. Maria Aragon - Born This Way (Cover) by Lady Gaga
9. The Force: Volkswagen Commercial
10. Cat mom hugs baby kitten

Watched all of the videos? Great! Hit the comments below and tell us what you think about the list. Is it missing some of your favorite videos? Are you shocked that some received so many views? Are you still crying because you can't get "Friday" out of your head?

Related stories:

• Man fired from Starbucks after musical YouTube rant
• YouTube Insult Generator automates online cruelty
• 'Sesame Street' YouTube channel hacked, filled with porn

Want more tech news, silly puns or amusing links? You'll get plenty of all three if you keep up with Rosa Golijan, the writer of this post, by following her on Twitter, subscribing to her Facebook posts, or circling her on Google+.

Comedy Central

Apple's Siri — the virtual assistant built into the iPhone 4S — refuses to help its users find abortion clinics and tends to ignore folks with foreign accents. Sure, there could be an innocent explanation for those things — such as a series of glitches — but Stephen Colbert has an alternate theory.

According to Colbert, Siri is obviously an arch conservative woman, "like Laura Ingraham — but less robotic."

You can check out that theory — and its context — in the clip below. Don't forget that it's from a recent episode of "The Colbert Report" and all in good humor — so don't let it ruffle too many feathers.

Related stories:

• Apple explains why iPhone won't find abortion centers
• How to make your iPhone look like HAL 9000's nicer sister
• Careful! Your iPhone's Siri could easily embarrass you
• My iPhone says the darndest things (thanks to Siri)

Want more tech news, silly puns, or amusing links? You'll get plenty of all three if you keep up with Rosa Golijan, the writer of this post, by following her on Twitter, subscribing to her Facebook posts, or circling her on Google+.

"The Fine Brothers continue their quest to spoil everything in the world by spoiling 50 classic YouTube Viral Videos in one take, in under 4 minutes," the alleged siblings shamelessly announce in their 13th Spoilers episode, which "marks 1,000 spoilers and counting in our series!  Together we will continue to spoil the planet."

Indeed, when they’re not spoiling Christmas, cartoons, books, movies and so much more, the YouTube filmmakers are subjecting children and teens to the flotsam and jetsam of popular culture for the amusement of adults via their "React" series. Nothing is safe or sacred from the Fines, who, rather than taking off Thanksgiving, turned on their own with a video that revisits everything from Rebecca Black's fateful "Friday" to David, hopped up on goofballs after the dentist.

You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll remember that time you and/or everyone you knew responded to every question with "I like turtles" for, like, 3 months straight. In the end, you’ll learn an important lesson: It’s not that everyone in "Hamlet" dies, or that the baby panda sneezes, it’s how you felt watching those classic stories unfold, again and again and again.

More from the Fine Brothers:

• Fine Bros. help change YouTube, spoil the world!
• Doctor Who: 47 Years in 6 Minutes
• Teens on 'Twilight': 'Why ... why ... why?'
• Kids talk 'Star Wars Kid': 'We are so cruel!'
• Kids on 'Super Bass' girl: 'Should she be saying that?'

Helen A.S. Popkin goes blah blah blah about the Internet. Tell her to get a real job on Twitter and/or Facebook. Also, Google+.

YouTube

As an iPhone user — and fangirl — I generally frown whenever I have to listen to yet another joke about the cult-like behavior of Apple product lovers. But even I can't deny that Samsung's new Galaxy S II commercial is absolutely hilarious in all its iPhone-mocking glory.

The commercial — which you can watch below — takes jabs at the iPhone fanboy culture by presenting us with a line of people who appear to be waiting for a new Apple product to be released. They discuss it, complain about its specs, obsessively check blogs for rumors, and wait for days without complaint.

But then they see people with Samsung Galaxy S II devices and the reality distortion field begins to crumble just a bit:

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• The most evil prank you could pull on an iPhone user
• iPhone-using rabbi blames Apple for ungrateful iSociety
• iTunes Match review: Not made in heaven

Want more tech news, silly puns or amusing links? You'll get plenty of all three if you keep up with Rosa Golijan, the writer of this post, by following her on Twitter, subscribing to her Facebook posts, or circling her on Google+.

KohlsOfficial / YouTube

Department store chain Kohl's didn't just stumble into the land of awkward parodies. Oh no — someone in that company's advertising department woke up, browsed through YouTube, selected the most ridiculous video he or she could find, and created a commercial to parody it.

Oh yes. That means exactly what you think it means.

There is now a Rebecca Black-inspired Black Friday commercial. And it's as — ahem — special as the original viral sensation, the one which racked up 167 million views before temporarily disappearing from YouTube.

Curious? Eager to torture yourself with an ear worm? Great! Here's the parody video:

Related stories:

• What happens on the Internet every 60 seconds
• Rebecca Black cancels Friday, removes video
• Yes, Windows Phone fangirls exist — and they rap

Want more tech news, silly puns, or amusing links? You'll get plenty of all three if you keep up with Rosa Golijan, the writer of this post, by following her on Twitter, subscribing to her Facebook posts, or circling her on Google+.

YouTube

I've watched Apple fanboys declare their love for all things iOS and iPhone in a lot of strange ways while pretending that those who favor other mobile platforms would never do anything silly. But today the pretense is over — because there's simply no way to ignore the existence of rapping Windows Phone fangirls.

Yes, you read that right.

(Msnbc.com is a joint venture of Microsoft and NBC Universal.)

For whatever reason a group of girls — who call themselves Carly, E-Town, Elise, and Emily — decided to express their love for Windows Phone in an absolutely ridiculous rap video. As someone who would never have the guts to make such a video, I've got a lot of respect for the girls' bravery and envy them for the fun they appear to be having.

But there's just no way to take lines such as "keep my phone in my back pocket, Powerpoint's always on my hip socket" seriously.

Watch the full video and you'll see what I mean:

Related stories:

• Remember when Steve Jobs prank-called Starbucks?
• Silly video makers turn serious to honor Steve Jobs
• What if our computer problems were more literal?

Want more tech news, silly puns or amusing links? You'll get plenty of all three if you keep up with Rosa Golijan, the writer of this post, by following her on Twitter, subscribing to her Facebook posts, or circling her on Google+.

Patrick Stewart's voice work and the excellent art direction are the only things that make up for the mediocre gameplay. In-Game's Todd Kenreck gives it a 6 out of 10.

YouTube

Haven't had time to read "Steve Jobs," the authorized biography of Apple's late co-founder, just yet? No worries! There's a minute-and-a-half-long animated video which summarizes bits of the six-hundred-page book.

The video is brought to us by Taiwan's New Media Animation news crew — the folks who previously portrayed Jobs as a Ninja-wannabe who carries deadly throwing stars, a crook who preys on children,  an evil Darth Vader type of character, and so on — and as expected, it's full of satirical exaggerations.

You can check out the video below, but keep in mind that it's only a silly summary of what is revealed in "Steve Jobs." No video could possibly sum up everything that acclaimed biographer Walter Isaacson managed to uncover over the course of two years and through countless interviews.

If you're looking for a more serious animated video about Jobs — no, that's not an oxymoron — then you might want to check out the solemn clip NMA created right after his death.

Related stories:

• Remember when Steve Jobs prank-called Starbucks?
• Silly video makers turn serious to honor Steve Jobs
• Steve Jobs may have been working until day before death

Want more tech news, silly puns or amusing links? You'll get plenty of all three if you keep up with Rosa Golijan, the writer of this post, by following her on Twitter, subscribing to her Facebook posts, or circling her on Google+.

webhamster.com

Don't you just hate it when your lame friends and/or family members email you links to Hipster Mermaid or Damn You Auto Correct or the Crazy Nastya** Honey Badger or some other ancient meme, website or viral video you saw, like 10 million years ago?

Certainly, the only thing more tedious are those lame friends and/or family members who, upon receiving an email from you featuring Web content with which they're already familiar, feel compelled to respond: "Dude. I saw that, like, 10 million years ago." Jerks.

Finally, here's a solution! Is It Old? is a single-serving website that screens links for novelty. "Before you make a complete fool of yourself when you send a link to your friends, colleagues or Twitter followers, enter it here to make sure it's fresh enough," reads the "Is It Old?" landing page.

Is It Old? is works like the infinitely helpful single-serving site, Down For Everyone Or Just Me? (which saves you from annoying your co-workers with questions such as, "Can anybody else get on Facebook?").  Similarly, Is It Old? is little more than a homepage with a field into which you paste the link in question and hit enter.

Within seconds, the site calculates a link's freshness using the number of times it's made the rounds on Twitter, and provides a descriptive response that may also double as a blow to your ego, including "OLD," and "DEAD," along with the number of times a links been tweeted and when that first tweet occurred. Or, if you're lucky you get: "YOU'RE THE FIRST." 

We tested a variety of links fresh, semi-fresh and practically as old as the Internet. While the general descriptions provide good guidance on whether a link is fresh enough to share, the results don't include accurate info on how long a link's been floating on the Web.

For example, a link to Hamster Dance accurately gave us this response:

Is It Old?

"Dead" indeed, and "ABORT. I don't know if computers can even run this anymore," provides a vague feel of Hamster Dance's ancient heritage. "It has been tweeted 1267 times, the first time was 947 days ago," is almost nothing to how long this meme has been around. And as we know, the same Internet meme or video can come from many different links. Is It Old? screens links, not content.

 We next tried the freshest story posted on Internet aggregator BuzzFeed, and received this response.

Is It First?

This is gratifyingly straight up, so we tried the second freshest story on BuzzFeed, posted mere hours ago, only to receive this confounding result:

Is It Old?

If we're to believe, the Is It Old? assessment for this link, only Grandma and Grandpa will find it novel. However, if we tell all the haters at the other end of our emails that this link, though only hours old, was first magically tweeted 31 days prior, perhaps we'll keep our Internet cred.

via The Next Web

More on the annoying way we live now:

• Internet talks about 'Occupy Wall Street,' media listen 
• Who gets your Internet passwords when you die? 
• Soldier comes out on YouTube again, to mom

Helen A.S. Popkin goes blah blah blah about the Internet. Tell her to get a real job on Twitter and/or Facebook. Also, Google+.