The Wayback Machine - https://web.archive.org/web/20121209235930/http://slacktory.com:80/2012/04/

Slacktory

  1. It's a Wonderful Life

    The 24 types of Christmas movies you’ll see on TV this year

  2. Liam Neeson talks

    Slacktory Supercut: Liam Neeson always gets the last word

  3. Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band sucks

    Album review: The Beatles, “Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”

  4. Home Alone torture porn - Harry and Marv see Kevin

    The “Home Alone” novelizations are horrifying torture porn

  5. Good 10 Guy Greg banner

    Good 10 Guy Greg: He’s a hero, but he’s high as shit

  6. IDF Twitter Black Friday

    @IDFSpokesperson: A Social Media Success Story

  7. Condescending Wonka isn't condescending

    Willy Wonka responds to the Condescending Wonka meme

Posts Published April 2012

  1. ZZ Topless banner

    ZZ Topless

    NSFW, so click to see. »

  2. I’ve been making celebrity name puns on Slacktory, but this massive Imgur string from Reddit kicks my ass.

  3. Canvas photo challenge thread

    Join This Massive Photo Challenge Thread on Canvas

    Two weeks ago, Canvas user jessejericho started a photo challenge thread: One user requests a certain kind of photo (like “take the ‘artsiest’ photo wherever you are right now, but it has to have the word ‘Terminator’ in it somewhere”), then the first person to deliver such a photo gets to make the next request.

    Starting with “Your car with all windows and doors open, and a banana on the hood,” the chain has gone on for 22 pages over two weeks. The current challenge is “dogs with clothes.”

    Now, it has to be a new photo, not something you found online. So if you’ve got a dog around, you can be a Part of History.

    See a highlight of the chain. »

  4. Marionettes freak dancing

    Freak-Dancing Puppets in South Africa

    I have nothing to add, except who knows if this video was stolen from someone else and is actually from a totally different country.

    Watch the dancing marionettes. »

  5. Connor Ratliff holds a donut in I'm Too Fragile For This, Fat

    “I’m Too Fragile For This”: Connor Ratliff and Cathryn Mudon’s Web Show About Insecurities

    Maybe you have a lot of time? That’s not a bad thing! People act like it’s lazy to relax but it’s not and you are “in luck” right now. Because these little idle conversations between comedians Connor Ratliff and Cathryn Mudon last three to five minutes each and there’s no real plot but why does there always have to be a plot in everything?

    Watch a show about nothing! By now surely you know that’s actually a good pitch. »

  6. Immature High Schoolers: A New Advice Meme

    The Immature High Schoolers advice meme. Invented by Reddit, we think. See the best ones on our brother blog, Modern Primate.

    Above meme by hse97 on Reddit

  7. AAEG WhiteWomen

    Lena Dunham Wishes Away the “Girls” Haters: Ask an Evil Genie, Celebrity Edition

    Lena Dunham wishes: I wish that Girls hadn’t been placed under such intense scrutiny before it had even premiered.

    The Evil Genie replies: Boom, done. Your new HBO show, titled Specific Young White Women, premieres to very little fanfare. The internet fails to throw up on itself and then eat its own vomit, not unlike a dog, and you receive a handful of positive reviews from small outfits. You’re a 25-year-old woman with your own TV show! Crazy and amazing.

    The week after the pilot airs, you feel fantastic. Your family and friends, all wealthy famous people, are incredibly happy for you. The women who seek out the show, hard as it is to find, really relate to it and think highly of your capabilities as a writer/director/producer/creator/actress. And no one thinks you’re racist or bourgeois or spoiled or disconnected or the product of good fortune! People don’t take any notice of any of you or your show’s flaws at all. #SpecificYoungWhiteWomen doesn’t trend on Twitter.

    Feminist blogs discuss HBO’s Sunday nights with a passion, but the talk is all turned to Veep (Would you vote for a woman like Selina Meyer? What if she rocked flowery dresses and Doc Martens like Elaine Benes used to? Think pieces abound). There are no parody videos, or screencapped memes, or diatribes from men, or diatribes from women about the diatribes from men, or parody diatribes written by men about diatribes written by women, or parody diatribes written by women about diatribes written by men about women. There’s nothing.

    In the second week, ratings fall. It turns out that your target demographic doesn’t really have HBO, unless they are living and/or staying with their parents… (Read More) »

  8. Keanu, OK Guy and High Expectations Asian Father say follow this blog

    29 Advice Meme Versions of “Follow This Blog, You’ll Love It on Your Dashboard”

    “FOLLOW THIS BLOG. You’ll love it on your dashboard.”

    If you use Tumblr long enough, you come to hate this on your dashboard. It’s the tagline of the 1000notes network, the mouth sore that follows massively reblogged posts around Tumblr.

    But from now on, you can imagine it being said by one of your favorite memes, and then maybe seeing it won’t make you want to shoot your dashboard quite as much.

    READ THIS POST. You’ll love it on your surfboard I don’t even know what joke I’m trying to make but read this post. »

  9. Krispy Kreme rap video

    Krispy Kreme’s “The Baddest”: A Rap You Wrote in Middle School

    ;akjsdf;lkasjdf;lajsdf;lkasdf WHAT. YES.

    I’m really really really worried about the 10% chance this guy isn’t the new actual emperor of comedy, the guy who makes us go “Oh, I guess Lonely Island was kind of worth it, to pave the way for this guy,” and that he actually means it when he sings “I could beat you up even if you had one thousand knives, even if you had infinity knives.”

    Watch ‘The Baddest’, which is the baddest, by which I mean the worst, by which I mean the best? Fuck. »

  10. Nick wears a horse mask

    Nick and Siri Celebrate Passive Voice Day, No Wait, Horse Day

    It has been declared Passive Voice Day! Things will only be said in— NEIGHHHHH! NEIGHHHHH! WE’RE ALL HORSES TODAY! Nick, don’t be an idiot! Siri, don’t be a nerd!

    Watch this! No, don’t watch it. No, watch it! »

  11. Pinterest Reddit Tumblr icons

    The Six Best Text-Based Twitter Versions of Other Sites

    “Text-based site” Twitter accounts are is the next “Shit People Say”. In a week you’ll be able to read the entire internet on one Twitter list.

    @PicturelessPinterest was the novelty Twitter account that inspired @TextBasedTumblr and the rest of this fad. It came first, and it’s still pretty great, but here’s who’s sprung up most recently in this new trend of characterizing websites with little text posts:

    @PinterestFake

    So far, the cleverest account. At first it was realistic, now it’s more openly mocking.

    https://twitter.com/#!/PinterestFake/status/195948693394964480

    https://twitter.com/#!/PinterestFake/status/195929327441944576

    http://twitter.com/#!/PinterestFake/status/182868415059468288

    http://twitter.com/#!/PinterestFake/status/193373093845151744

    Find out what five other sites have ‘Text Only’ Twitter versions! OK I’ll tell you, it’s Reddit and Tumblr and Facebook and Instagram and 9gag. Now let’s see their best tweets. »

  12. I Just Discovered MediaTakeOut (“The Most Visited Urban Website in the World”), Everybody

    The following post, which got passed around a few New York media-person tumblrs this week, is from MediaTakeOut, which is apparently not a satirical blog in the style of Hipster Runoff but a sincere celebrity gossip blog.

    A 2007 Boston Globe piece says MediaTakeOut (sample headline: WE GOT PICS . . . OF THE TOP DRAFT PICKS GIRLFRIENDS . . . AND ALL WE GOTTA SAY IS . . . WHERE THE BLACK WOMEN AT?????) is run by Fred Mwangaguhunga, a “former corporate lawyer”. In an NPR interview, Mwangaguhunga:  sounds as serious about his job as Gawker’s Nick Denton.

    But I am going to ignore that and read MediaTakeOut (sample headline: CAUGHT SLIPPIN!!! A WOMAN Tweets Out A Pic . . . Of RIHANNA’S EX . . . Baseball Player MATT KEMP . . . SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!!!) as pure satire, and probably read the entire internet as pure satire, and thus will I find true happiness.

  13. passive voice diagram

    Today Has Been Declared Passive Voice Day

    “Passive Voice Day” was first mentioned, probably first conceived, by Shaun McCance on his blog. The day may have been observed before, but I certainly hadn’t been informed. And this year the idea is being spread on Tumblr and by Language Log.

    Passive Voice Day could be considered “Talk Like a Pirate Day” for grown-ups. It’s not needed to look like any fun is being had.

    So I’d be honored and gratified (the conditional passive was just used there, were you filled with envy?) by your participation.

    Tweets should be sent by you (passive imperative) in the passive voice! Blog posts should be written in same! Company is loved by misery.

    Photo taken from Towson University

  14. AAEG Kim Kardashian says bye

    Kanye West Wishes Kim Kardashian Didn’t Love Him for the Money: Ask an Evil Genie, Celebrity Edition

    Kanye West wishes: I wish that Kim Kardashian would truly love me… and not for my money.

    The Evil Genie replies: Sitting in your darkened home theater, you can’t decide what the bigger travesty is: that they’re playing it again, or that you’re watching it again. As you sit in the actual, literal throne that you purchased and hired a 24-hour security team to watch, you gaze at the screen, the images at once deeply familiar and somehow still wholly unbelievable to you.

    E! Entertainment television is rebroadcasting the episode of Kourtney & Kim Take New York that led you to this moment, alone in the blackness. A chyron at the bottom of the screen explains: you and Kim are on a romantic date at New York’s hottest club, Froosh. You see Kim’s beautiful face looking into yours and you watch as the scene, the scene that plays in your nightmares, unfolds. “I love you, Kanye,” the fifty-foot Kim breathes. A giant you replies, “Do you, Kim? But… is Us Weekly right? Is it only for the money?”

    “No!” Kim exclaims, “I love you for so many things. The things that make you, you! Your narcissism, your materialism, your arrogance, your defensiveness…”

    “What?” At first you were smiling, but your face has fallen. You look like you’re about to explain who deserves an award, or who does and does not care about black people.

    “Your connections, your megalomania, your paranoia, your reactionary nature, your singing voice…”

    ‘But what about my talent?’ you ask Kim. (Read More) »

  15. ASCII art roller coaster

    The 5 Most Amazing ASCII-Art Yelp Reviews by Farzan K.

    There’s a Yelp reviewer in Washington, D.C. who writes his reviews in ASCII art, screenplays and other little fantasies. His name is Farzan K. Here are highlights from his best reviews.

    McDonald’s (click for the full review):

    “Summary: McDonald’s McFlurries may be an unhealthy food choice. Also, this location once gave me a McFlurry instead of chicken.”

    See seven more reviews by Farzan K., including an ASCII roller coaster! »

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