Windows 95 Tips is a collection of scary screenshots from an old operating system — but it’s also building the story of one second-person protagonist trapped in a decrepit OS for over a decade.
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Gumshoe Diaries: “Kill me, Kate”
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“Step by Step” is basically just “The Brady Bunch”
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#Last Lines From Great Books: A Twitter game
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Reddit thread: Tell me your ‘Glitch in the Matrix’ stories
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Why I’m glad Skyfall isn’t all about the gadgets
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Today I Fucked Up: A subreddit where fuckups are winners
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All the best exclamations from Adventure Time’s Finn the Human
Blogs
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Fuck! I’m in the twenties.
The relatable observational blog Fuck! I’m in My Twenties (buy the book) has a new parody called Fuck! I’m in the Twenties. It’s about the 1920s. Will it last for over a week, or is it just a pretty-good one-off gag? WHO KNOWS.
Here’s their best joke so far:
Feel that rhythm, I’m not bullshitting here, there’s a real rhythm to joke lists, and this lands it like a slightly-dated Olympic gymnast metaphor.
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The top 10 photos from FILMography on Tumblr
From our friends at
The Empire State Building, the steps of the New York Public Library and Central Park have been home to some of the most memorable movie scenes in history.
If you ever visit these places chances are there one or two people trying to recreate their favorite scenes—like Tom Cruise frantically running through the streets in Vanilla Sky or Natalie Portman emerging from the subway.
One such person is Christopher Moloney. The CNN writer has been traveling around the world with his camera and cheap black and white printer, trying to relive moments from his favorite films for his Tumblr FILMography.
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See the world like you would actually see it
Travel blogs are designed to make you feel bad about yourself. Check it out, pretty people in pretty places eating pretty things! Live through their pictures; revel in their travel acumen; pretend their DSLR is the projection of your potential, your eyes on the road, so far from your desk and that burrito you just ordered for breakfast on GrubHub.
Worse, when you actually do have occasion to travel, you find yourself trying to live up to the standard set by these bloggers. If you didn’t do eight of the twelve greatest attractions at your destination, you aren’t shit — not a single piece. Your lobster didn’t come in a martini glass garnished with unicorn hair? Go home, failure. You suck at traveling.
Thankfully, so does this guy! Introducing my favorite new Tumblr, Sights of the World. Here is a travel blogger more my speed. Here he is in China:
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Ugly Renaissance Babies: A Novelty Blog With Surprising Staying Power
The blog Ugly Renaissance Babies is like the Hairpin’s “Stuff in Art” series had a baby. Obviously. Clearly. How would it not be exactly like that, you fool, you cretin, how did you not anticipate this?
Best post:
Their caption: “Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, cloud babies, you gotta help me hide these bodies!”
Via: Best Roof Talk Ever
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Dirty Disney Confessions: The PostSecret of Wanting to Fuck Every Disney Character
This blog knows what it is, and does it very well. Someone confesses a filthy fantasy about a Disney character. Dirty Disney Confessions posts the confession onto a screenshot of that character. Repeat until Mufasa is just covered in cum.
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Sad Babies in Headbands
Back at Urlesque, my friend Cole Stryker discovered Sad Etsy Boyfriends: The phenomenon of boys who looked less than thrilled to be modeling Etsy goods. Someone turned it into a single-topic Tumblr. And the heir to that phenom is Sad Babies in Headbands, a blog that started just last afternoon.
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Is This Feminist?: Probably the Funniest You Can Be While Mocking Political Correctness
This woman is giving you a thumbs up. IS THIS FEMINIST?
TRIGGER WARNING. The “thumbs up” is the most phallocentric gesture imaginable. You are literally telling someone that a good job is the equivalent of growing a penis. In this case, two penises.
Additionally, this kind of casual congratulation has been known to put the recipient in a good mood, which can lead to entire minutes of complacency about their own privilege. PROBLEMATIC.
I don’t really want to say that political correctness is a real thing, but a certain sort of language has gotten popular on certain parts of the internet, right? A language of people really ready to be hurt and offended by, say, an HBO sitcom?
And Is This Feminist? doesn’t mock feminism or progressivism, but the faux-feminism and over-sensitivity that end up dicking over the people they’re supposed to protect. It feels like self-mockery, which is the best mockery. AMUSING.
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Teacup Asians
Teacup Asians is a blog of Asian people, mostly girls, coming out of teacups. Like this:
Is this, like, a phrase? If it is, Google hadn’t heard of it.
Is this racist? Are we racist? I’m working out of a bar today and my mind feels awkward.
Via: Bobby Finger
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Single-Topic Tumblr “Old People Holding Hands” Doesn’t Make It All OK Again
It’s been a hard day for all of us who read even just the highlights of the massive “what’s your darkest secret” Reddit thread. We need some normal lives to look at. Let’s try Old People Holding Hands!
Their anniversary had coincidentally fallen on the half-priced pancake day at Denny’s. Accompanied by the senior’s discount, this meal was going to cost next to nothing. Phil and Mary shuffled quickly across the street; they dreaded sitting in the drafty booth next to the door. Phil noted that this year was already looking up and that his left shoelace was undone.
Oh right, those of us who never undergo life-altering horrors will eventually wither into sad scavengers with comically lowered expectations!
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I Just Discovered MediaTakeOut (“The Most Visited Urban Website in the World”), Everybody
The following post, which got passed around a few New York media-person tumblrs this week, is from MediaTakeOut, which is apparently not a satirical blog in the style of Hipster Runoff but a sincere celebrity gossip blog.
A 2007 Boston Globe piece says MediaTakeOut (sample headline: WE GOT PICS . . . OF THE TOP DRAFT PICKS GIRLFRIENDS . . . AND ALL WE GOTTA SAY IS . . . WHERE THE BLACK WOMEN AT?????) is run by Fred Mwangaguhunga, a “former corporate lawyer”. In an NPR interview, Mwangaguhunga: sounds as serious about his job as Gawker’s Nick Denton.
But I am going to ignore that and read MediaTakeOut (sample headline: CAUGHT SLIPPIN!!! A WOMAN Tweets Out A Pic . . . Of RIHANNA’S EX . . . Baseball Player MATT KEMP . . . SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!!!) as pure satire, and probably read the entire internet as pure satire, and thus will I find true happiness.
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Here Is Your Opinion on HBO’s “Girls”
We have an opinion on Lena Dunham’s Girls!
We got our opinion from a days-old satirical blog post! It’s a deconstruction of many people’s criticisms of Girls.
Tumblr’s B Michael Payne writes a 15-point critique, saying shit like:
One time I tried to sleep with the girl like Lena Dunham to make her feel better about herself, and she didn’t want to, and I stopped talking to her after that because she was irredeemably sad and terrible.
And:
[Lena Dunham having money] makes her television show not as good as shows depicting poor people like “The Wire”.
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Context-Free Patent Art: Your New Favorite Tumblr
Context-Free Patent Art posts illustrations from video game patents. It’s… it’s my job to write these descriptions of single-topic Tumblrs, and I feel like I’m just getting in the way here.
Click the pics for the source posts.
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Guy leaves intentionally stupid comments on news articles
Ken M is a troll of the highest order and his targets are news articles, or Twitter accounts, or Facebook posts — well, pretty much anything. But his best work is on news articles.
More stupidity. »