The Wayback Machine - https://web.archive.org/web/20121122022621/http://slacktory.com:80/category/bowels-of-the-internet/

Slacktory

  1. Hanksgiving - Jello mold to Perdition header

    Hanksgiving: Tom Hanks movie posters redone for Thanksgiving

  2. Worst IMDb lists - Howard the Duck

    The 17 worst IMDb lists

  3. Mighy Ducks movie vs NHL team

    The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim are nothing like the movie

  4. Denny's too damn high banner

    Internet memes get ad deals

  5. gumshoe diaries - detective story

    Gumshoe Diaries: “Kill me, Kate”

  6. Alice from the Brady Bunch with the Step by Step family

    “Step by Step” is basically just “The Brady Bunch”

  7. LastLinesFromGreatBooks - the monster at the end of this book

    #Last Lines From Great Books: A Twitter game

Bowels of the Internet

  1. Worst IMDb lists - Howard the Duck

    The 17 worst IMDb lists

    Most IMDb lists are just “movies I need to see” or “my favorite horror flicks”. These are not those lists.

    Click any screencap to see the actual IMDb list.


    Includes “Patrick Swayze as an ideal Knuckles the Echidna.”

     

    Research methods PLEASE sir.

    See more terrible IMDb lists – and a few fantastic ones. »

  2. Jimmy John's V for Vendetta mask

    I think Jimmy John’s regrets their election-themed Facebook post

    Jimmy John’s sandwich shops posted this cute joke photo on their Facebook this morning:

    The commenters quickly started arguing whether it’s illegal to post these pictures (it’s a misdemeanor in some states, a felony in others, completely legal in a few). It got real stupid, real fast.

    See more Facebook commenters arguing about whether a sandwich franchise committed electoral fraud. »

  3. Tila Tequila conspiracy theory banner

    Tila Tequila’s descent into conspiracy-theory madness

    This is not a joke piece. The story below is real. — Ed.

    Is the following a quote from Left Behind or blog of a reality star from the mid 2000s?

    This is a message to all the people of Jerusalem. I am the reincarnation of Melchizedek. Have been a lie to your own people and used a great many masquerading as a human led humanity to the world very dark and ugly. If you really believe that then you must believe me a message to all of you. I roll the real bodies of Melchizedek.

    If you guessed a blog, you win! And bonus points if you guessed it was translated from Hebrew (I had to use Google Translate) from a post by Tila Tequila. This October, the former reality star has refocused her brand online as a “Freedom Fighter” against the Illuminati, Moon People, mind controlling frequencies, and a possible upcoming apocalypse.

    Read about Tila’s descent into paranoia, possibly aggravated by true brain damage. »

  4. america-the-beautiful

    The official website of America is everything you want it to be

    In anticipation of tonight’s opening salvos in the Presidential Debates, we are thrilled to present to you The Official Website of America.

    U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! »

  5. realm of chaos

    The best posts from Bloard, a very clever little forum

    “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a high school attended by all of the Sonic the Hedgehog characters, and during class Shadow passes a note to Sonic that says ‘Hey i have something i need to tell you at recess.’ And at recess they hang out near a picnic table and Shadow puts his gloved hand on Sonic’s and looks into his.eyes and they share a deep, passionate kiss. Then the bell rings, and it’s back to class for Sonic and friends, but there is a new tension among them.. It is a very exciting time, for Sonic and Shadow. It’s awesome to imagine this” – ~GeorgeOrwell.deviantart.com

    — Skylark on Bloard

    I don’t know where this messageboard came from, I can’t help you Know Your Meme here. I think it just exists for some people to try to out-funny each other, but actual funny, not “funnyjunk” funny.

    I found it through the Twitter user leh0n, and I ended up on the “top posts” page, and it’s beautiful.

    See some of the top bloard posts. »

  6. then who was phone

    Top 10 stupidest creepy online stories

    One of the primary joys of the internet, bar porn and GIFs, is reading user-submitted “true” tales of paranormal encounters. These have littered forums and websites since long before 4chan’s creepypasta. And while some are genuinely frightening, the real gold is in the stupid paranormal story.

    The sort of story you find on a website with a rotating skull on the homepage. The sort of story that’s called ‘Baby Eating Werewolf’ and opens with the line “What I’m going to tell you has never been told by me to anybody, with the exception of my mother because I still I believe whatever I saw might come to hunt me.”

    So here’s a top ten of that kind of story.

    First up: ‘Demon Activity… or Something.’ »

  7. Space Jam Call Me Maybe

    New Favorite Subreddit: /r/ComeOnAndSlam

    Early last week a co-worker sent me a video of PSY’s “Gangnam Style” mashed up with the Space Jam theme song. The two tracks work together eerily well, and the result is a song that leaves you struggling to figure out which parts belong to which track.

    Later, in an attempt to share the video with another colleague, I googled “Gangnam Style Space Jam Mashup” and discovered that this particular mix was only the tip of the Space Jam iceberg. I had stumbled into /r/comeonandslam, the subreddit “dedicated to any remixes or photoshops that are related to the Space Jam Theme Song by the Quad City DJ’s.” Needless to say, it is absurdly hilarious and engrossing. I spent HOURS listening to this stuff. By the end of the week I was signing emails with “work that body, work that body, make sure you don’t hurt nobody.” Shit’s downright infectious.

    It turns out, The Space Jam theme song is the Hydrogen of the music world — it can bond with just about anything. Exhibit A? Ghostslammers, a mix of the Space Jam theme and the Ghostbusters theme.

    Hear ‘Ghostslammers’ and more of /r/comeonandslam’s masterpieces. »

  8. horse miracles- heaven

    Horse Girls Have Blogs Now, And They Still Get Mocked

    Jenny was a horse girl. We were in first grade. She once chased me around on the playground with a stick she had been chewing on. I went to one of her birthday parties once and she had paper plates with pretty prints of horses, a cake with a horse made of frosting, and cups with ponies dancing in circles. She dreamed of horses. She told us all about how one day she would have the most beautiful black horse kept in a stable that she had already picked out about 15 minutes outside of the city. She sometimes came to school smelling a little like piss. And all of us, like the cruel children we were, made fun of her non-stop.

    Jenny was a horse girl, and if the internet had been around, she may have found solace online. Horse Girl Problems is a Tumblr that describes relatable moments for horse girls and sincerely answers questions posed by its feminine equestrian readership.


    Source: Horse Girl Problems

    And while most ‘___ problems’ blogs might be taken with a hint of irony, the audience at Horse Girl Problems sincerely relates to these text macros. The above was reblogged by user sparklyzombie with the response, “Cannot tell you how many times this happened to me…”


    Source: Horse Girl Problems

    So of course a parody has sprung up: Horse Girl Miracles. »

  9. Matt Romney and Rob Paul

    Matt Romney and Rob Paul Run for President

    Matt Romney (not Mitt’s son) is a fictional character based on a simple idea: What if a typical email-forwarding blue-collar guy from your small hometown ran for president?

    Matt Romney mostly exists as a Facebook page and a Twitter account. The schtick is that an embarrassingly out-of-touch adult (a “Don’t Dad”) discusses how he’d run the country, which looks horribly familiar to those of us with backward upbringings, and I assume laughably absurd to everyone else.

    See Matt Romney’s nonsense. »

  10. man looks in mirror at man

    A Statue Fetishist’s Massive YouTube Clip Collection

    This post is for connoisseurs of internet weirdos. It’s not wild and crazy, but it has a refined eccentricity.

    So there’s this 3-minute film about Medusa-fighting treasure hunters by Corridor Digital. It’s an excellent use of special effects to drive a story mechanic.

    Watch the short film and see the comment that led me to an odd YouTube collection. »

  11. Bill Hader runs from haters

    Bill Haters: People Who Hate Bill Hader

    The Internet likes Bill Hader. The Internet really likes Bill Hader. Just how much does The Internet like Bill Hader? When you google “Bill Hader sucks” the third result that comes up is an IGN message board, “Bill Hader is a genius.”

    Using their incredibly I-didn’t-take-the-time-to-figure-out-how-it-works algorithm, the opinion gathering dataheads over at Amplicate polled the Twitterverse and could only find one guy who hates Bill Hader.

    Yep, this guy: @fartsman.

    See more of the weird world of Bill Hader haters. »

  12. Ray Romano on Google Images

    18 Shitty Ray Romano Impressions

    Ray Romano is not a difficult man to imitate. It’s Kermit plus Brooklyn. And yet there are so many beautifully shitty impressions of him on YouTube. Most come from four to six years ago, when Everybody Loves Raymond was still on the air and online video quality was shoddy and uncomfortable (the same way that 70s video quality made everyone look vaguely like Trololo Guy). All this makes a perfect storm of embarrassment for even the most talented comedians imitating Raymond and his TV family.

    Watch pros and amateurs all do terrible Ray Romano impressions. »

  13. sad Etsy pets header

    Sad Etsy Pets

    Last year, my colleague Cole Stryker discovered sad Etsy boyfriends and Etsy child abuse. Soon after, a blog started tracking sad Etsy dogs. But Etsy crafters continue to humiliate their loved ones by posing them with handmade “clothes”. Here are 29 of their sad Etsy pets.

    See cats, dogs, and rodents humiliated by their owners. »

  14. Fuck You Steve — a microsite.

    Via: CannibalKisses on Twitter

  15. Carnac the Magnificent plainface

    People Who Actually Think They’re Telepathic

    The website Real Super Powers says on their About Us page:

    RealSuperPowers.com is an attempt to broaden public knowledge within the sector of real, attainable super powers[...] Super powers are usually only taken seriously as fictional character attributes in entertainment, like “Heroes,” “The 4400,” and “Superman.” It is our desire that the true existence of real super powers in human beings be firmly established, so that we all might benefit.

    […]It is possible that on December 21, 2012, humanity on the whole will be granted super powers.

    Working from that solid foundation, the website features articles on Real Life Superpowers like telekinesis, telepathy, and super speed, along with spammy forum posts about prom dresses and weird, outdated internet tips at the top of every page. The comments section serves as a ghostly repository for distressed people with awful spelling to ask how they can make the voices stop.

    Anonymous just wants to read minds, to know if people like him or not:

    I would want ot read minds too. I totaly agree with you 100%. Because sometimes I feel I am the most hated guy in my class. People always push me around call me stupid all that stuff even my friends! It really sucks. So I would like to know if someone did like me or trully hate me.

    Please tell me anymore info of anything about telepathy.

    Thanks.

    Anon stops by just to brag:

    It’s really not too hard for me

    It’s not that hard just concentrate on the mind you want to read and pretend that you can see through their head at least that’s how it works for me

    Read more stories by people who think they’re telepathic. »

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