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Slacktory

Politics

  1. drudgehat

    What tonight’s shocking video may be about

    Matt Drudge is reporting that a video may come out tonight, on the eve of the first Presidential Debate, that will “cause controversy, ignite accusations of racism — in both directions!”

    Here are our best guesses as to what that video will contain.

    • Mickey Rooney’s scenes from Breakfast at Tiffany’s
    • Footage of an unannounced Tintin sequel based on the book Tintin in the Congo
    • Something immaterial Fox News will go into seizures over
    • A collection of early Disney cartoons
    • 70% of the things said on Fox And Friends
    • A lost episode of Outsourced
    • Matt Drudge reading from his journal
  2. Obama SOTU 2012

    Other Things Obama Wants You to Send Him for Tomorrow

    Send me a bill that bans insider trading by members of Congress; I will sign it tomorrow.

    — President Barack Obama, 2012 State of the Union address

    My fellow Americans, send me about 300 Lego pieces including some of the good ones; I will make a spaceship out of them tomorrow.

    Send me the notebook pages you’ve been meaning to type up into a text file; I will transcribe them with this iPhone app tomorrow.

    Send me an image you’ve been trying to source; I will TinEye it tomorrow.

    Send me more shit, I will sign it tomorrow. »

  3. GOP debate applause

    Republican Presidential Campaign Fact-Check

    As the campaigns pick up speed, it’s getting harder and harder to keep track of who is telling the truth and who is blatantly making shit up. Our most important goal here at Slacktory is to keep you informed, I went on a fact-finding expedition to dig into some of the most controversial claims made by each candidate. This is what I dug up.

    Claim: Recently, Mitt Romney said that he created 100,000 jobs while in the private sector with Bain capital.
    Reality: Not all of those jobs were directly related to his time at Bain. For example, about 5000 of those jobs were related in some way to the upkeep of Mitt Romney’s hair, including a team of Professional Temple Grayers imported from Sweden. Another 1000 of those jobs were just his wives that he put on the payroll.

    Read more claims and the truth behind them. »

  4. Rick Perry close

    More Things Rick Perry Endorses

    • Paula Deen, but also making fun of Paula Deen
    • Just “juicing” a girl’s drink a little, not enough that it’s illegal and hey, she’d be getting drunk anyway
    • The Matrix sequels
    • Until someone explained to him how this shit works, Michele Bachmann
    • Getting “dubs” on 4chan
    • Devices that look like touchscreens but aren’t
    • Our Savior Jesus Christ
  5. Rick Perry Zoidberg Banner

    Republican Candidates by Meme

    After the Family Forum’s ridiculous hugfest of a debate, I’ve finally come up with an explanation of the candidates sufficiently in keeping with the ongoing Republican theme of being caricatures. What follows is that explanation.

    Romney: The Most Interesting Man in the World. »

  6. Watch Shit Go Down at Occupy Wall Street, Live

    Know what’s fun to watch today? Cops holding protestors out of Zucotti Park in New York City. Apparently they’ve been guarding the park all morning in violation of a court order (though that order may have run out at 11:30). As I write this, the guy running the livestream video below is debating trying to enter the park with a copy of the court order.

    UPDATE: The stream cut out and is back. The streamer is walking among the protesters outside the park.

    Watch the stream. »

  7. 1. title

    Occupy Wall St. vs. America

    For those of you who don’t live in New York (or New Yorkers who just haven’t had time to visit Zuccotti Plaza), the national hub for Occupy Wall Street probably holds a certain mystique. Is it a functioning anti-capitalist commune blocks away from the center of the global financial system? Or is it a bunch of unemployed kids?

    The best way to understand OWS might be to compare it with the 99.9999% of the country that remains unoccupied. (For now.)

    See how OWS lines up with the rest of America. »

  8. SponsorCluster

    Corporate Sponsorships for Occupy Wall Street

    The Occupy Wall Street movement has become a global phenomenon, with sympathetic protests cropping up around the world, grassroots support and growing mainstream media attention. Still, if it’s going to keep growing, the movement needs to incorporate one more crucial element. They need corporate sponsors.

    There’s a lot to be gained for the sponsor. They get zeitgeisty buzz, they appeal to a “hip” young market, and they might just get the ironic attention of the wealthy 1%. Here are some companies that would be a natural fit for the Occupy Wall Street movement.

    First up: The Olive Garden. »

  9. I am the 2 percent

    The Best “We Are the 99 Percent” Parody Pictures

    I knew I needed to make a parody of the powerful but super-serious blog We Are the 99 Percent. My first thought was some kind of “100%” movement that only described itself in universal turns. Instead I chose milk (above).

    There are, of course, many other jokes to make here.

    And they have been made. »

  10. Soros World Order

    The Best Occupy Wall Street Conspiracy Theory Videos

    The mainstream media presents misinformation about Occupy Wall Street, but there is also plenty of misinformation coming from the alternative media. Conspiracy theorists like to make ridiculous claims about New World Orders and cable TV shows, and they get millions of views doing it. Here’s a roundup of some of the best conspiracy theories about Occupy Wall Street.

    ‘Weirdly, this was recorded in XtraNormal and isn’t about an iPhone.’ »

  11. Scary fucking spider

    Stephen Colbert’s SuperPAC Now Sending Parody Emails

    Anyone subscribed a few political email lists will appreciate the mock urgency of this morning’s email from the Colbert SuperPAC, with the subject line “Spiders In Your Hair!”

    Watch the SuperPAC’s first video. »

  12. Jonathon Sharkey holding a sword

    Vampire Prez Hopeful Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey: Our New Jimmy McMillan

    Jonathon Sharkey is a former pro wrestler, a “Luciferian” who drinks his 19-year-old fiancée’s blood, and a candidate for the Republican Presidential nomination.

    He once proclaimed that if he were elected President, he would literally impale George W. Bush. He also would have terrorists impaled and would personally decapitate violent criminals. He is pro-life.

    All the above is on Sharkey’s Wikipedia page. I have left out many good things. I swear there is not a single unfunny line in there. The citations are funny.

    Why has the internet pretty much ignored this man? Boing Boing tracked him early in the 2008 election cycle (herehere and here), including when his threat against Bush got him jailed, but hasn’t touched him since. BuzzFeed and Videogum, which collect weirdos like Sharkey, haven’t touched him. So far he’s mostly covered by professional reporters, and he keeps giving them brilliant, brilliant material.

    Let’s make this man a meme. »

  13. son of strelka

    Obama Audiobooks Chopped Into Entirely New Story: ‘Son of Strelka, Son of God’

    For the past four years, I’ve been working slowly but obsessively on a very odd project. Bit by bit I’ve dissected Obama’s self-read autobiography into thousands of very short phrases, usually one to ten words or so, and have used these snippets to tell a completely different story from the original. I’ve then set the story to music. The story is called Son Of Strelka, Son Of God. Broadly speaking, it tells the story of an ugly dog-faced demigod who recreates the world after it is destroyed.

    Dan “Mofolotopo” Warren, Something Awful Forums

    And it’s a fricking cartoon.

    Let’s watch it! »

  14. “Hackers” break into Fox News Twitter account, tweet fake Obama death — Manage to make people feel bad for Fox News

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