Today the Supreme Court issued a landmark blah blah blah what the fuck happened this morning in DC?

Basically, the Court answered four questions.

1. Can people sue the government over the healthcare mandate yet?

This is important because way back in 1789, Congress passed a law called the Anti-Injunction Act (AIA) saying you can’t challenge a tax before you’ve paid it — you have to pay it, and then sue for a refund. That was to prevent people from tying up the government in court all the time with frivolous lawsuits to buy more time. It’s like, “Fuck, I don’t have the money yet. OH I KNOW. I’ll sue the government, saying the tax is illegal, because it takes like decades for shit like that to resolve, and in the meantime no one will have to pay! I’LL BE A HERO.” Can’t do that. Instead, you have to decide that it’s worth your time to go and get the money back in a court battle.

If the healthcare mandate falls under the AIA, then this suit has to wait all the way until 20-fuck-15, when people start paying it. However, the court ruled that the healthcare mandate does not fall under the AIA, because Congress didn’t call it a tax. This is really important — Congress didn’t call it a tax, so it doesn’t count, because the AIA only applies to things that Congress calls taxes.

2. Is the Individual Mandate to buy health insurance constitutional?

Read the exciting answer that CNN got wrong! »