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Consent: A Memoir Hardcover – Deckle Edge, June 11, 2024


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From the acclaimed novelist (“A virtuoso”—Donna Seaman, Booklist), a deft, shocking memoir that asks whether we can judge past behavior by today’s moral codes, as the author reevaluates her decades-long marriage to the forty-seven-year-old man she met when she was seventeen, revisiting a singular passion in the 21st-century aftermath of #MeToo.

“Few writers can tackle the bedroom—or female libido . . . but Ciment is a master: in exquisitely spare prose, she nails it.” —
The New York Times

In this unflinching account of the ardent love affair between the author and her painting teacher, which began in the 1970s, when she was a teenager and he was married with two children, Ciment not only reflects on how their love ignited (who leaned in first for that kiss?) but interrogates her 1996 memoir on the subject,
Half a Life. She asks herself if she told the whole truth back then, and what truth looked like to her in the even longer-ago era of love-bead curtains when she fell in love, when no one asked who was served by the permissibility around a May-December romance. In the light of #metoo, with new understanding about the balance of power between an older man and an underage girl, Ciment re-explores the erotic wild ride and intellectual flowering that shaped an improbable but blissful marriage that lasted for forty-five years, until her husband’s death at ninety-three.

This riveting book about art, memory, and morality asks many questions along the way: Does a story’s ending excuse its beginning? Does a kiss in one moment mean something else entirely five decades later? Can a love that starts with such an asymmetrical balance of power ever right itself? Suffused with the wisdom that comes with time,
Consent is an author’s brave recasting of her life’s settled narrative, and an urgent read for women of all ages.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Frank, provocative and deeply compelling.”People
 
“Remarkable . . . at once forthright, thoughtful, and moving. . . . This is a book poised to fuel plenty of discussion.”
—Heller McAlpin, NPR
 
“Arresting. . . . Bold. . . . Ciment has given readers a brave and beautiful variant on the #MeToo memoir.”
—Maureen Corrigan, NPR Fresh Air
 
“Enthralling. . . . In
Consent, Ciment revisits what she wrote back [in Half a Life], re-scrutinizes the memories she tapped and the story she built from them, and then brings the history of her marriage.” —Slate
 
“Early in
Consent Ciment asks whether her marriage was all ‘fruit from the poisonous tree.’ It is a daring question, and she is unsentimental and unflinching enough to answer it convincingly, which is to say, complexly. She shrinks from nothing in her accounting: not from Arnold’s sordid advances, not from her teenage naiveté, not from the many indignities of her situation. Nor does she shrink from the most scandalous surprise of all: the possibility of a love forceful enough to overturn the habitual hierarchies.” —Becca Rothfeld, The Washington Post
 
“Fiercely honest yet delicate. . . . Ciment reexamines her relationship and the project of memoir writing itself: whose memories count and how stories of our youth get reconfigured with the passage of time.”
—Oprah Daily 

“In this sharply candid anatomy of a relationship and spellcasting remembrance, Ciment reflects on the dubious start to their union and how their roles switched over time. By turns stinging, hilarious, and poignant, this is rare and luminous testimony to creativity, commitment, and love over all.”
—Donna Seaman, Booklist (starred review)

“Candid. . . . A hot bullet of a memoir.”
Kirkus Reviews

Consent just might be the new gold standard for the memoir. By revisiting a part of her life that she wrote about nearly three decades ago, comparing her then-account to the way she would describe the same events today, Jill Ciment asks exhilarating questions about who we are, how we let the stories we tell ourselves and others settle and define us. What makes Consent so fascinating is that Ciment kept the tapes: her previous account makes her able to turn her memories at different angles against the light. What really happened? Everything in her first memoir was true, and the story hasn’t changed (it is still, at its heart, a love story). Yet something has changed. Ciment tackles deep and painful issues without any fuss. In prose that is concise yet warm, unsparingly honest and often hilarious, she gives us this rarest of gifts: a book that is both urgently of its moment and absolutely timeless.” —Camille Bordas, author of How to Behave in A Crowd and The Material
 
“In her new memoir, Ciment revisits the scandalous romance that became the defining fact of her personal life—her passionate and enduring relationship with a man thirty years her senior, begun when she was a teenager.  In her fiercely intelligent and imaginative style, Ciment interrogates her memories through a new lens, and in the process creates an indelible portrait not just of a marriage, but of the remembering mind, its revisions and revelations.” —
Jo Ann Beard, author of The Boys of My Youth and Festival Days
 
“In
Consent, Ciment explores deep and difficult questions about her lifelong relationship with her much older husband. Her writing, as always, is imaginative, funny, and thoroughly entertaining as she reflects upon the ethics of their relationship. Her story resonates today, maybe even more than it did when it happened.” —Nicole Holofcener, American Film Director and Writer of You Hurt My Feelings

About the Author

JILL CIMENT, the author, most recently, of the novel The Body in Question (a New York Times Notable Book), has been the recipient of numerous honors, among them a National Endowment for the Arts fellowship, two New York Foundation for the Arts fellowships, the Janet Heidinger Kafka Prize, and a Guggenheim fellowship. Ciment, a professor emeritus at the University of Florida, was born in Montreal, Canada; she now lives in Gainesville and New York City.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Pantheon (June 11, 2024)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 160 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0593701062
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0593701065
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.9 x 0.77 x 8.52 inches
  • Customer Reviews:

About the author

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Jill Ciment
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Jill Ciment was born in Montreal, Canada. She is the author of Small Claims, a collection of short stories and novellas; The Law of Falling Bodies, Teeth of the Dog, The Tattoo Artist, and Heroic Measures, novels; and Half a Life, a memoir. Heroic Measures is the basis for the film 5 Flights Up starring Diane Keaton and Morgan Freeman. She has been awarded a National Endowment for the Arts, a NEA Japan Fellowship Prize, two New York State Fellowships for the Arts, the Janet Heidinger Kafka Prize, and a Guggenheim Fellowship. Ciment is a professor at the University of Florida. She lives in Gainesville, Florida.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
179 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book impossible compelling and loving. They also say the author is a gifted writer and the real love described meaningfully. Readers recommend the book as a quality read for the ages.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

3 customers mention "Difficulty level"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book impossible compelling, thought-provoking, and highly recommended as a quality read. They also say the author is gifted and will seek out more of her work.

"...the last part of an age unequal marriage and coupled life is impossibly compelling and very loving.A real love described meaningfully...." Read more

"A very well-written thought-provoking book. Excellent." Read more

"...I couldn't put Consent down until I finished.She is a gifted writer. I will seek out more of her work." Read more

3 customers mention "Family relationships"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the family relationships in the book meaningfully described.

"...age unequal marriage and coupled life is impossibly compelling and very loving.A real love described meaningfully. For the ages...." Read more

"...This one is perhaps her best book ever. It is filled with concerns and meanderings on love, sexual politics, art, questions about her relationship..." Read more

"...It's joy and funny as we read about ourselves; heartfelt, sad, and true, no matter the perspective." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2024
This telling of the last part of an age unequal marriage and coupled life is impossibly compelling and very loving.
A real love described meaningfully. For the ages.
Highly recommended as a quality read.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2024
I admire the way the author describes her feelings. She often verbalizes what has often been for me non-verbal thoughts.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2024
Jill Ciment continues her memoir from her previous one, 'Half a Life'. 'Consent' details the 45 year love affair and marriage of the author and her painting teacher, Arnold Mesches, who was 30 years her senior. The two met when Ciment was 17 and taking a class from Mesches. She was immediately attracted to him and instigated the relationship with a kiss. But did she really? After all, there was a huge power and age differential and, despite her desire, he held the upper hand. And after 45 years, how accurate is a memory?

Ms. Ciment examines the wondrous and loving years of her marriage and its May-December quality in light of the 'me too' movement and current beliefs regarding misogyny, power, patriarchy and control. She questions her relationship with Mesches in contrast to present propriety and comes to the conclusion that their union was one of love and equality.

I have read all of the author's books and admired each of them. This one is perhaps her best book ever. It is filled with concerns and meanderings on love, sexual politics, art, questions about her relationship, and a lot of self-examination. I highly recommend this book.
6 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2024
A very well-written thought-provoking book. Excellent.
Reviewed in the United States on June 13, 2024
It is us, all of us, and all of our facets. It is universal and beautiful and it's real. It's joy and funny as we read about ourselves; heartfelt, sad, and true, no matter the perspective.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2024
All great love stories end in tragedy. This is a given. But the story Ms. Ciment tells of life with her Arnold is triumphant. I couldn't put Consent down until I finished.

She is a gifted writer. I will seek out more of her work.
5 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on June 17, 2024
Beautifully written, provocatively thoughtful, this memoir was a surprise. I read it quickly, captivated by the writer's inquisitive voice delving into her own story -- I was curious alongside her to sort out why she did what she did. On the surface, it does seem sordid, but in the end it read like a true love story. It was definitely a peek back into a different time and often I found myself thinking this could never happen now (at least not legally). I didn't want to like the characters, and yet they charmed me. There is so much to discuss here beyond the story itself-- like the authenticity of the writer and how it changes with time. As your perspective shifts, so does your story.
4 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 7, 2024
The truths Jill Ciment revisits in her account of her love story with a husband 30 years her senior are difficult to read. But there is undeniable beauty in the realness of her experience and the devotion that she and Arnold had for one another. She asks early on in the novel if their entire story is tainted due to being “fruit from the poisonous tree,” and I can’t answer that.

I can’t pretend not to be revolted by Arnold’s actions and yet, at the same time, I can clearly understand why Jill loved him. I’m not sure how I should feel after reading this memoir. I think I’ve come away from it with the same uncertainty as the author, but I don’t doubt that Jill loved Arnold and vice versa, regardless of how they began.
One person found this helpful
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