Connecting the Data Points

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This is part of our continuing series of accounts by readers of how they shed the illusions of liberalism and became race realists.

I grew up in Northern California in the ‘80s and ‘90s with racial blinders on. This was easy to do living in a predominantly white area — minorities were only theoretical. My parents seemed to tow the egalitarian line generally. However, I remember specific instances in which they would note racial differences.

The first instance was when I was 12. My older sister, 24, was going to take me to her friend’s house, and I remember eavesdropping on my mom asking my sister if the friend’s black boyfriend was going to be around. She was concerned about my safety. My sister rolled her eyes and dismissed Mom’s thinking as outdated, but Mom persisted and made sure he was not going to be there before allowing me to go.

Another instance was when my dad and I were driving through Oakland, and I noted how shabby all the homes looked and that it was only black people living there. He said that they had an inability to maintain. Even if they acquired something of value, like a new Cadillac, it would deteriorate before long. I asked him why they spoke differently. He just said that they were different and pointed out that while some speak properly, once they get around other blacks, they slide back into that dialect.

These were my earliest data points that ran counter to the false narrative that we are all the same. But I still lacked direct experiences with minorities . . . until I joined the Navy.

Even in boot camp, we were fed the mantra that diversity is our strength. How was an organization that seemed to value uniformity above all now celebrating differences? I asked about the apparent contradiction, and our petty officer informed us that in one instance a US sailor of Chinese descent was able to translate between his and a Chinese ship to ease navigation in tight waters. This is an especially hilarious example of diversity being a strength, considering the recent stories of Chinese spies in the Navy.

I was fortunate enough to avoid some truly horrific examples of racial differences while in the service. But small ones presented themselves every day: the African immigrant who was nearly impossible to understand, Filipino nepotism in the enlisted ranks known informally as the Filipino Mafia, or the Hispanics who spoke Spanish among themselves. There were many such minute examples — too many to list — and they added up.

Continuing to believe in egalitarianism required a conscious effort. It was because they were disadvantaged that blacks could not pass the swim test or that there were so few of them in special operations. I ignored such patterns, not so much because I could not see race, but because I did not want to. Stereotyping people was wrong, and realizing that everything you have been taught is a lie was demoralizing. But by the time I had transferred to the Reserves, there were more than enough data points. Internally suppressing that pattern recognition had become exhausting, and I just needed a final push.

Searching for answers regarding racial differences, I finally found American Renaissance. I remember the precise article that was my racial awakening watershed: “How I Learned About Blacks.” The piece was not empirical data, but it put that pattern I had been avoiding on full display. The truth was there, I admitted it, and the world made sense.

Knowing all of this was initially isolating. There was now a conscious and constant battle to keep these things to myself to keep a job (and make enough to donate to American Renaissance). However, the individuals I have met with this same worldview have become some of my closest friends. And we never have a shortage of data points to discuss.

If you have a story about how you became racially aware, or about your firsthand experience with race, we’d like to hear it. If it is well written and compelling, we will publish it. Please feel free to use a pen name and send it to us here.