Last week proved that Hollywood could make commercially successful, critical hits about a doll or a real-life theoretical physicist. Now, Disney is trying to atone for wasting Eddie Murphy's talent and people's fond memories of the Disneyland attraction The Haunted Mansion.
I actually have to give the Mouse House credit for remaking a forgotten misstep from 20 years ago instead of a beloved animated classic. The live action version "The Lion King" was stiff and robotic compared to its 2D predecessor, and watching the witless, unimaginative grave robbing of Uncle Walt's masterwork "Pinocchio" managed to do the impossible: make viewers hate Tom Hanks.
While casting Murphy as a real estate agent had serious potential, the comic seemed annoyed as if he were competing against the special effects.
This time around there's a tighter storyline and a better location (New Orleans) but no purpose other than to get some quick cash from those who can't make it or afford tickets to the Magic Kingdom.
A single doctor named Gabbie (Rosario Dawson) and her son Travis (Chase W. Dillon) quickly learn that they can't start their lives over again in
the Crescent City until they deal with the fact that their large new house is overrun with malevolent specters.
Because ghosts are a feature instead of a bug in the Big Easy, getting rid of them or even getting them to cooperate with the living is just about impossible for outsiders. They gradually recruit a burnt-out astrophysicist named Ben (LaKeith Stanfield), who now barely gets by as a tour guide, the shady Father Kent (Owen Kent), a historian with a failing heart (Danny DeVito) and a stumbling medium named Harriet (Tiffany Haddish).
Even with her hastily assembled Scooby Gang, assembling the right clues proves challenging, and each of the team members carries baggage that could turn the living into ghosts, too.
Writer Katie Dippold has a long track record with "Mad TV" and "Parks and Recreation," director Justin Simien gave us "Dear White People." Apparently, Disney has managed to pasteurize and homogenize the flavor out of their work. Much of the humor falls flat. Haddish often steals the show in supporting roles, but seems buried under her costumes here.
That seems to be the fate of a lot of performers in this film. Recent Oscar-winner Jamie Lee Curtis spends most of her screen time stuffed in a crystal ball, while fellow Academy Award winner Jared Leto wears a mask and has his voice electronically altered. It makes one wonder if the producers must have really felt generous toward him when they could have cast a lesser-known actor to do the same thing.
To Simien's credit, he does create a consistently creepy, disorienting atmosphere and handles the ghostly effects well.
The new "Haunted Mansion" still feels unsatisfying because it's hard to tell which audience Disney was trying to reach. The film wrestles with grief and might be a little too heavy and dark for youngsters. One also wonders if it was intended as a zombie movie instead of a ghost story. The new film lumbers for more than two hours whereas the previous adaptation came to a merciful end around 90 minutes.
In 1977, I had the pleasure of visiting the Haunted Mansion and found it to be a whimsical delight. The ghosts were a bit more silly than scary but they have stayed with me longer than the ones in either misbegotten movie.
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None'Haunted Mansion
75 Cast: LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, Danny DeVito, Jamie Lee Curtis, Chase W. Dillon, Jared Leto, Marilu Henner, Winona Ryder
Director: Justin Simien
Rating: PG-13
Running time: 2 hours, 2 minutes
Playing theatrically
Spooky ooky? Lindsay Lamb makes eyes as The Bride in Disney’s “Haunted Mansion,” its second attempt at a film based on the theme park attraction. Photo courtesy of Disney. © 2023 Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.