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Two of the campiest summer staples are located in the eroticism of the car – the car wash and the drive-in movie – and who looks better covered in grease than a dyke? You can even bring your bike to this combo car wash/movie night at the Museum of Human Achievement. “While we can’t promise professional-level shine, we CAN guarantee cargo shorts, carabiners, and a cleaner car than when you rolled in,” writes MOHA. “No ride? No worries! It’ll be a spectacle!” Even better, the evening’s entertainment features one of the hottest handymen to ever grace the silver screen – watch Gina Gershon ripple and smolder sweatily at Jennifer Tilly in the Wachowski sisters’ neo-noir 1996 classic Bound. Car wash starts at 6:30, movie at 8:30; general admission is $5-20, and you can get a wash for $20-30 – all proceeds go toward supporting one of the few dyke-specific spaces in the country. As MOHA reminds, “With fewer than 40 dyke bars left in the country, these spaces are precious.” – Lina Fisher

Created and hosted by San Marcos-to-Austin-commuters Kino Kino and Gender Destruction, this open-mic night invites all ages to bring their art to the stage. Poetry, drag, singing, and more: It’s all welcome at this monthly queer-soul healing. July’s theme is Inner Child: Consider what would bring the younger you joy, and integrate the answer into whatever you perform. This show’s hosted at San Marcos’ local caffeine slingers Wake the Dead, located in a “[funky] Tim Burton-esque house.” Grab one of their over 55 beer selections, a specialty espresso, a smoothie, or a tasty pastry treat before settling in for a sweet Sana Sana show. – James Scott

If you’re a queer person missing the weekly ritual of Sunday mass but wish it was just a little bit gayer, Cheer Up Charlies’ newest event “Sunday Masc” may be up your alley. The event will feature an array of blasphemous activities, including a holy water wet T-shirt contest and a religious-themed drag king show. The show will be hosted by drag performer Arby’s (no relation), and features the performers Atlas Mars, Trey Devine, Tiny Taurus, Gerry Mander, Mx. Hot Lunch, King Jason Taylor, and Gender Destruction. Come dressed in your Sunday best and bring your church fan – because things might get a little steamy. – Gabrielle Grace Hogan

The host herself – Erica Nix, star of screen, sweating, and shows in MASS Gallery’s yard – warns that this pool party sells out quick. That means if you’re interested in getting wild and weird in the water, if you’re a real aqua aerobics all-star, if you love to get really really wet, then don’t spend another second reading this event listing! Jump on that wheezing ol’ laptop of yours and log on to Austin Motel dot com to claim your spot. If you’re too slow, well. Lucky you this is an every-Sunday type of deal. – James Scott

Resident vixens Mars, May Magdalene, Veronica Valentine, and Tequila Rose throw a fab brunch. DJ Boyfriend ATX brings great tunes and vendors sling sweet wares thanks to Eastside Pop Up.

Make exercise fun again. Dance, cardio, and strength training workouts inspired by Richard Simmons, Jane Fonda, Big Freedia, and voguing.