Ahhh, wedding season: the time of year where people spend every weekend dancing, drinking a lot, spending their last dime on dresses and gifts — oh, and pretending not to be very jealous the whole time.
Okay, okay, I'm just kidding — I actually love weddings. But there are a few traditions and trends that just aren't right, ranging from questionable to borderline offensive.
So now, it's time to do a bit of healthy trash-talking — for the greater good, of course. Here's what the people of Reddit think are the "dumbest wedding traditions" people should never, ever try:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1. "Fucking flowers! The bride's side wears one type of flower. The groom's side wears a different type of flower. The females wear it one way and the males wear it some other way. The bridesmaids hold flowers. The flower girl drops flowers behind the bride. The altar has flowers all around it. WHY. SO. MANY. FLOWERS."
"It may be because I am dude and married a dude, but we didn't have many flowers at our wedding.
The flower girl threw fake flowers behind me, and I wore a flower crown. But that is it. I think I threw a packet of skittles instead of flowers at my bridesmaids."
2. "I think the whole 'be given away at the altar' thing is weird. When I get married, I'm walking myself down the aisle."
"This is probably because I'm just not close with anyone besides my boyfriend (and obviously he can't simultaneously walk me down the aisle and be at the altar), but I've just never liked that tradition."
"I am not property. I will not be given away. Hard pass."
3. "The single dumbest tradition is an expensive engagement ring. Anything more than $100 is silly."
"Engagement rings. Obscene waste of money to support an evil industry."
4. "Smashing a cake in the groom/bride's face. I've seen too many where they really smash them with the cake."
"I'd be pissed if my husband did that to me. Most women spend a lot of money for that perfect look on their wedding day and even if they don't, they spend a lot of time doing their own makeup. I think it's very mean."
5. "Registering for gifts — giving gift cards instead of cash, although this applies to more than just weddings."
"I mean, we eventually spent the $1200 in Target gift cards, but it would've been cool to spend it at other places as well."
6. "Brides jumping into water with their wedding dress on. You could drown, idiot!"
–[deleted user]
7. Forcing several of your closest friends to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress, or a tux rental, to literally stand in the front of the church with you. Other than the best man and maid/matron/man of honor, there's no purpose."
"If you go casual and let people wear their own stuff, it's not so bad."
8. "Getting married after just a year of dating."
"That's a lifetime commitment — you gotta be SURE you're ready."
9. "The woman buying her dress. I mean, why? In theory, you will only wear it once. It makes more sense for the guy to buy his tux; there's at least a chance he'll wear it again."
"My Slovak sister-in-law rented her dress and looked divine. She bought her veil, her earrings, and a cute pair of shoes. Changed into a hot little sparkly number at midnight so she could pack up the rental and party all night. It was dope."
10. "The tradition of pricing everything up once the word 'wedding' is mentioned. Great photoshoot for your family: $300. Wedding photos of the same quality and quantity: $1500."
"Yeah, I'll gladly just have friends whip out an iPhone and take pics and edit them myself."
11. "Throwing confetti (or rice) at the couple outside the front doors of the church after the ceremony to wish them 'good luck.'"
"The pastor of one church asked those in attendance to 'please throw $20 bills instead to spare the sexton a huge clean-up job.'"
–[deleted user]
12. "Removing the garter, the following garter toss, and application on another woman. That shit is just weird."
13. "Rehearsal dinners and all the pre-wedding events are bullshit. They are unnecessary money spent. If you need to rehearse getting married, then you've complicated your damn ceremony."
"Get engaged, walk up to your fiancé, say 'I do,' eat, and end the day. Shit."
14. "Bachelor parties at strip clubs or Vegas hotel rooms with a private stripper."
"Your last hoorah was before you started dating her, not the night before you get married. Stop acting like being faithful is some kind of funeral."
15. "Being introduced as Mrs. Groom's Name."
"I never understood saying the whole name, like 'Mrs. John Smith.' Like, my first name didn't change too, did it?"
16. "Wedding showers. Being a female person, I get invited to a lot of these, and they're all pretty much the same: sitting around eating finger sandwiches, tentatively sipping white wine, and watching the bride open boilerplate registry gifts and Bed Bath & Beyond gift cards for 3 hours. No thanks."
17. "Maybe this is just me, but the wedding cake. Overpriced, silly, and they all pretty much look the same. They're like 90% frosting, and even if you try to get a nice cake, they taste like sandpaper after the six hours they have to be out to be decorated. No one at the party actually wants to eat it, so you end up with about eighty pounds of leftover cake.
"My husband and I went to a local cupcake shop and order cupcakes, all different varieties. They were made fresh and decorated the morning of. People took them into work or school the next day, and it was like we were sharing our happiness with the whole world."
18. "Asking the father or the parents for their permission or blessing. I'm not marrying a child here. I'm marrying an adult who can make her own decisions."
19. "That the bride's family should pay for the wedding."
"I know it's becoming less common. I have a single mom (dad passed away when I was little) and I know she felt terrible about not being able to contribute more to my wedding.
I, knowing my mom has a single income, would never expect my mother to pay for my wedding. I'm not putting down any bride whose family is fortunate enough to pay for their wedding — I just don't think it should be the expectation anymore."
20. "Apparently there is a weird tradition that it's bad luck for the bride to walk down the aisle at the rehearsal and some other woman is supposed to walk down and stand with the groom."
"My wife said 'screw that' and walked herself. Why would she want to sit and watch some other girl our age stand up there with me and the preacher the day before the wedding?"
21. "I read in some other thread that fruitcake is the traditional first layer of the wedding cake. Yeah. That one."
22. "I might get some backlash for this, but for me, it's the speeches and toasts. I can completely 100% accept the idea of one toast, and I can get about 75% on board for the best man and maid of honor — but after that, it's like jeez, how big is your ego that you want to make everyone stand up and talk about how great you are?"
"Whenever I get married, I just want my sister as my maid of honor, my husband can pick a best man, and that's it for the wedding party... and if I can get away with it, NO speeches! Unless one of the two greatly desires to!"
23. And finally, "The idea of throwing a party for gazillion people, because 'they are family!' No, if I haven't seen them for last 20 years, they are not."
"The whole general social concept of a modern wedding is just stupid. People spending much more they can afford on one night, which is stressful, and makes them hate each other and scream at each other."