18 Fails From The Internet This Week That Are So Funny You'll Die
"My wife, with a master's in biology, just disagreed that penguins are birds."
Hello, beautiful BuzzFeed readers, and welcome back to the panem et circenses that is my once-weekly Best Fails of the Internet roundup. Each one of these fails made me laugh this week, so please, enjoy!
1. This person's manager:
left work early today because i threw up. i went to tell my manager and he said "i don't believe you, show me the vomit."
โ ๐๐๐ฎ๐๐๐ป๐ต๐ธ (@g_abe0) June 30, 2024
i showed him the vomit
"are you sure that isn't someone else's vomit?"
???????????????????????????
2. This thief who effortlessly pulled off a stunning tampon heist:
Pickpocketed in London by a quite old man. Saw him whip my purse out of the side pocket of my bag. Was a nice purse I bought in Paris but swings and roundabouts - I use it to store my emergency travel tampons.
โ Rima (@therimaahmed) June 30, 2024
Have fun, tea leaf granda! Hope you only have a light to medium flow x
3. Having to have an app for EVERYTHING:
GE PLEASE FOR FUCKS SAKE I UNLOCK MY STOVE I JUST WANT TO MAKE SOME PASTA pic.twitter.com/WTCVnjfRgG
โ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ (@KLobstar) June 29, 2024
4. This I'm-not-a-chef moment that I think each of us has been through at least one time:
saw a jar of maraschino cherries at the store for $9.75 and said to myself, no. this is a chance to learn something new. so i got all the fresh ingredients, took them home, went through several recipes, and ended up making something that doesn't taste as good & cost more
โ lauren (@Very__Regular) June 30, 2024
5. Getting corrected on your high heel terminology by the guy you're going out with:
went out with a guy and texted him in advance telling him i was wearing heels and that i didnโt want to walk too far and he shows up and the first thing he says to me is โTHOSE ARENโT HEELS THOSE ARE WEDGESโ ok diva my bad ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
โ bella โญ (@bellanati0n) June 29, 2024
6. This amazing take from this person's wife (we all have our moments):
my wife, with a masters in biology, just disagreed that penguins are birds
โ Alex Rose (@AlexRoseGames) June 28, 2024
she then adamantly got out her phone, googled something, then silently put her phone down and continued as if nothing happened
7. This:
thinking about this garnish that came with my burrito pic.twitter.com/DrXhowaY32
โ Andiamo (@awejones) June 29, 2024
8. Universal to dads everywhere: reacting to even the most amazing news with nothing but "๐":
dad ๐ reacted to me being awarded 10 THOUSAND POUNDS pic.twitter.com/SMwUbDKh2U
โ megha (@megjpeg) July 1, 2024
9. This bagel with approximately 42,098 calories in cream cheese:
when i said extra cream cheeseโฆ pic.twitter.com/MadzcCBplb
โ Audrey-chan (@credenzaclear2) June 28, 2024
10. This abomination:
Deep fried Cigarete pic.twitter.com/0mgfgrCvfT
โ scoliosis (@cancers1ug) June 27, 2024
11. THIS abomination:
Chicago sushi pic.twitter.com/GOmMU5CWBh
โ Ms. Dive Diva ๐ค (@chicagodivediva) June 23, 2024
12. This cooking fail:
Decided to make a nice pot pie for dinner using leftover chicken. Was well into sauteeing the veggies before I realized I had no stock, no cream, and as it turns out, no leftover chicken ๐
โ sarah (@sarahradz_) June 26, 2024
13. This loving moment:
wore lingerie and my bf said โwow... itโs like baldurโs gate camp clothesโ
โ katie (@skatie420) June 27, 2024
14. Failing the vibe check of this cat:
house sitting and their cat does not fuck with me or my vibe whatsoever pic.twitter.com/yusRxikweq
โ sarah (@tinygreenbug) June 23, 2024
15. This poor child:
Daughter ate a handful of sour cream thinking it was ice cream and she slapped the table like it was a bad shot at a bar
โ Ryan ๐ฅฃ (@ryanposting) June 27, 2024
16. This Google Maps restaurant name:
Eating at The pic.twitter.com/DGRYtx6mxX
โ Andrew (@Dub__A) July 1, 2024
17. The way this sums up the state of the job market:
โ DeviantPigg (@DefectivePigg) July 1, 2024
18. And finally, this person, who somehow managed to fly accidentally to Puerto Rico:
the bachelorette party endedโฆ differently for charlie pic.twitter.com/xkZv7G7BjU
โ j (@philliesenj0yer) July 1, 2024