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Jarod Kintz
“There will be no purple-haired feminists during the coming food famine. Soon, all women will find cattle ranchers to be the world's sexiest men.”
Jarod Kintz, I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

Jarod Kintz
“A cigarette is just rolled up leaves, which makes it a smokable salad burrito. That makes the golfer John Daly a health advocate.”
Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

Jarod Kintz
“Of all the books I own, this is the only one I've read twice. It's also the only one I've read once. All my other books are used as decoration, like props to impress visitors.”
Jarod Kintz, I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

Jarod Kintz
“Why bother reading? Why not just download all the known knowledge directly into your brain? Let Elon Musk implant a chip through your skull and get a year's subscription to heated seats in your Tesla for FREE.”
Jarod Kintz, I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

Jarod Kintz
“I'm writing my autobiography, but it's taking me a long time. I've been at it my whole life.”
Jarod Kintz, I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge

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