May 16, 2024 • 65 mins
Bob Saget's widow, Kelly Rizzo talks to Oliver about love, loss, and looking ahead with a heart full of hope.
Kelly gets candid about the night Bob passed, how she found out, and why she had a bad feeling.
Plus, she tells Oliver what Bob would think about her new boyfriend!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi am Kate Hudson, and my name is Oliver Hudson.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
And what it's like to be siblings. We are a
sibling railvalry.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
No, no, sibling rail, don't do that with your mouth.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Revelry. That's good. Pay Yeah, that's my intro. That's my
intro clip. It just goes like this, Oliver Hudson on
sibling revelry.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
It's sort of like a minor note which it's like
starts with ah, which which is like kind of happy,
and then it goes ah, which you're you're descending down
into you know, the miners, you know, which is like, oh,
man like ah, and then you hit that, which means
(01:16):
you're just like depressed. So, uh, this this little signature
that I've just created. It starts with like, oh, life
is good, and then you can even drop down to
that base if it if it's getting really bad. So
that is my new signature. And as you listen to
(01:38):
this show, you will know what my mood is based
on whether it's an ascending which is like, oh life
is pretty fucking good, or which means like I woke
up this morning. Things are supposed like when the minue
you wake up in the morning, you know, you open
(02:01):
your eyes and it's a fresh day. Life can be anything.
So there's this sense of optimism when you open your
eyes like okay, it's a new day. And then you know,
as the minutes take on, it just goes to you
know what I'm saying, like, it's rare for me when
(02:24):
it's just goes ah where it's just fucking flying all day. Anyway,
this is Oliver Hudson in case you are just tuning
in and we have I have we have a really
fun guest today, Kelly Rizzo. I have never met her,
(02:49):
but she was married to Bob Saggott, who I actually
knew pretty well. And I'm excited to have a conversation
with her about multiple things, not just Bob, you know,
and grief and sort of how one deals with something
like that, and I'm sure it's all individual. Everyone has
their own ways, but also digging into sort of fresh love,
(03:12):
what it's like, how to you know, get over the
hump and find love again? Special Forces who's on that show.
I want to talk to her about that and you know,
whatever comes into my stupid brain, you know what I'm saying,
but let's bring uh, let's bring Kelly in. Hello, how
(03:33):
are you?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I am h Let me think because everyone just automatically says, oh,
I'm good. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
When I ask, I sincerely ask, But do you really?
I mean, I guess it depends on their context. Yes,
walking past somebody in the street is a different story
than me asking you right.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Hey, I'm good.
All right, I'm good. I've got my helme and great kids.
Great is sometimes tough, you know, it depends on what
your standard of great is. You know, some people wake
up and life is great, and I know, really we
(04:19):
need to have these positive affirmations.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
You know, and wake up every morning and being like,
you know, I life is great and it's going to
be a great day, and I believe in that. But
at the same time, when you're re evaluating sort of
your life, it's to evaluating your day.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Do you do the positive affirmations?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, you know, I was heavily into it, just writing
my journal, you know, every every morning, and I would
sort of just write ten ten things I'm grateful for,
sort of gratitude.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Okay, so Gratitude Journal.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Yeah, the problem is, like, you know, the ten things
were all the fucking same all the time, you know
what I mean, Like I got bored of my gratitudes.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I'm like my kids, my wife, you know, all the stuff,
all the great things, all the great things. But I'd say,
I'm good. I'm happy to be talking to you. I'm
happy to have a producing deal at Fox. I'm happy
to have my children healthy and my wife. I need money,
(05:21):
you know what I mean? Like, what's a fucking crazy
time right now?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Amen?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I mean I know we're all just grinding and hustling
over here, right.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So apparently this podcast has quickly
become about me, which is not really the way it's
supposed to go.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
But well, but I love the podcast. It's so great.
You know, whether you've got the sibling dynamic or whether
it's you solo works both ways. It's great. And now
she's off doing her music, right.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, she's doing her music. She's amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, it's a pretty everything.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Everything is happening very quickly. You know, I think the
launches on Saturday, you know, we're going to see her
do her album. And it's it's exciting, so talented.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
So I was so impressed because you know, I'm sure
over the years I've heard her seeing a little here
and there, but not to this like soulful incredible. Uh,
you know, this kind of genre that she's into is
just so and it's so impressive, so very impressed.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
No, I know, it's crazy. I mean, the talent is insane. Yeah,
you know, I mean it really is. And as an
older brother, you can only be so happy and then
you have to get angry. That's kind of the way
it works, you know what I mean, It's like, oh great,
you know, everything's going great for you.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Synamic, I know, I know all about it.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, that's my own that's my own psychology. Do you
have siblings, by the way, I do.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I have two sisters. I'm the oldest as well, oh good,
and the oldest. The three girls were very very close.
So I'm well, I'll be forty five on Sunday, and
then my middle sister is forty one, and then my
youngest is forty so we're all pretty pretty tight there.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, and y'all grew up in Chicago, right, grew up
in Chicago.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
One's actually here with me, right, now for like a
week or so, and then my youngest lives in Chicago.
She's the one that's got kids, and she's the one
that made my parents grandparents, and they're very very excited
about that. So at least one of us did that.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, that's a necess it's so older too, we're like nah, yeah,
And then the youngest one's like, all right, I'll be
the good one and give you the grandkids.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Oh well, good. And growing up, were you guys all
pretty tight or was there like real sibling dynamic?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
There both very very close, my middle sister and I.
And it's funny because my younger, you know, the two
my other my two sisters are seventeen months apart, so
they're very close in age. But my middle sister and
I have always been the two peas in a pod,
like we are, have been the closest since we were
(08:02):
since she was born. My youngest sister had a little
bit of I mean, we've all had our little rebellious stages,
but she was a little bit more rebellious from the
family where she wasn't as close with us, like as
a teenager and kind of growing up. But then we
all got really close when we said she turned nice
(08:23):
when she was in her twenties, Like she wasn't nice
until she was in her twenties, and now she's really
really really nice. So now we all get along really great.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
But there was that moment of like, get your shit together,
like bel please.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
It was decades. It was a good two full decades
where we're like, you're just you're just not You're not
very nice.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
But how do you deal with that? Though? You know
what I mean as siblings, you know, obviously communication is
always the best. Just what everyone says. Sometimes that's difficult,
you know, to just say what you feel because you
don't want that other person to either fly off the
rails or to make it worse.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Well, there was a lot of I mean, I don't know,
like were you and Kate physical did you get into
physical stuff too? Or no?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
No, no, I mean I just she just annoyed the
shit out of me, you know what I mean. Like
we were young, and you know, she was fabulous and
dancing everywhere and look at me, look at me and
all this stuff, and I was kind of more chill
and being like kay, like Jesus, stop it, Like it
just frustrated me and It's funny because I have two
(09:31):
boys and a daughter, and my daughter's the youngest, and
she's fabulous too, and she loves to dance and perform
and do her thing. And you can see her brothers
just being like Rio, just chill, just just bring it down,
you know what I mean. I can see that. So
it wasn't it wasn't physical, but it was just annoyance.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Well, my sisters and I were very physical, and to
the point where my parents were constantly having to split us.
I mean we were We would fight like wow, wrestle, punch, kick, fight,
I mean pinch, like we had marks on our arms,
like just bloody pinch marks all the time, to where
my parents would fear that when we'd go in public,
(10:15):
people would think that we were being abused because like
wow of marks and bruises all over the place. And
so that even went through full on teenage years and
then that calmed down, but there was always I mean
still to this day. I mean, I'm sure as you know,
(10:35):
whether it's with your siblings or with your kids, like
you can say the meanest things ever to your siblings,
where you could never imagine saying any of that to
anybody else. And then an hour later you're like, oh,
I love you, you know, And yeah, we still have
that even in our forties. We just when we get
into it. Sometimes we get into it and it can
(10:56):
be cruel and evil, and then ten minutes later we're
best friends again.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I think that's healthy, you know. I mean, it's just
not taking it too personally. That's what it is. Like.
There's love there at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Oh my god, so much love. I couldn't imagine my
life without my sisters. They are truly everything to me.
But it's when you meet an only child sometimes you
can see that the way that they've developed is a
little different because they'd never had those checks and balances
in place, Like they never really understood the limits that
(11:30):
they could go to without getting kind of punched back
into place. You know. Sometimes they had no limits. Maybe
their parents let them get away with stuff where siblings
won't let you get away with stuff.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
So it's interesting to see the different dynamics and relationships
when you meet somebody that's an only child because they
just didn't have that growing up.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
No I know, I know, And was there any part
of you that wanted ever wanted children.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I thought that I would have kids because it's just
what you do. You think that it's really almost not
an option to not have kids, like you grow up,
you get married, you have kids. But I never really
felt that maternal instinct in that urge, like I never
(12:17):
really wanted to. I was like, well, I'll do it
because you have to do it. And then as I
got older, I you know, I knew I was getting
to that point where Okay, this might happen soon, and
then I was always like, oh, it doesn't look really
like it's for me, but still it's what you do.
And then when I met Bob, he was open to
(12:40):
the idea at first because he already had three grown
children that were in their late twenties at the time.
You don't want to do it again. But he gave
me the option in the beginning. And then when we
got really serious and I was moving out to la
to live with him, He's like, we got to talk.
I'm not doing I can't do it again. Yeah, yeah,
(13:02):
And I was like, I don't blame you. I wouldn't
want to be pushing a stroller in my sixties, and
and so I didn't blame him at all, and I
just had to make that decision, like do I choose
this wonderful man and not have kids, or do I
(13:22):
leave him and then maybe hope I find someone one day,
you know, and you never know what's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
So were his his kids were older. But did you
in any way walk into a stepmother role. It's kind
of different when the kids are so old. You're almost here,
you know.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And it's funny because like on Mother's Day they texted
me Happy Mother's Day, step Mommy Kelly. I mean, they're
in their thirties now and they call me step mommy Kelly,
and that's awesome. You know, every day we say I
love you, and literally I'm because public made them call
me step mommy Kelly, and now it's stuck and that's
what they do. So in a sense, yes, but we're
(14:01):
also much more on a like a friend level and
also almost kind of like a big sister level because
we are. I mean, I'm on average, like ten years
older than they are, so you know, we're not super
super close in age. But but yeah, there is also
(14:21):
like a stepmom role where I feel very close to
them in the sense of, you know, I always have
them over for dinners and I'll have Thanksgiving at my
house and I I try to I try to be
a good step mommy Keilly.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, you know, I knew Bob. No, I knew Bob forever.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I was going to ask, I was going to ask,
what if you had a relationship at all the Wayeah?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I did?
Speaker 1 (14:51):
I did? I did, because he actually dated a friend
of mine back in the day. Her name was juliet Oh. Yeah,
you know Juliette.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, she and I became instant friends.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, we were, We were. Juliette was friends with my
friends and we all kind of and then she started
dating Bob and that's where I met him. And the
most shocking thing about him was how fucking dirty he was,
because he has this perception or had this perception of
a full house and he's good at two shoes. But
all of a sudden, we meet Bob and he's saying
(15:21):
the craziest, raunchiest, insane things, and it was off putting.
I'm like, whoa, what do you mean? Like America's Funny's
on video? Guy, Like you're you're you're like a dirty dude, you.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Know, And it's funny in the world of comedy, he's not.
He's you know, he's on in par with a lot
of the other comedians. But when you juxtapose it to
what you thought he was based on his family television
and House America's Funny So Home videos, then it's that disparity,
(15:54):
which is so shocking.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, oh yeah, No.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
He played off of it, and he he loved, you know,
showing people how he.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Was not yeah, Danny Tanner.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
And it wasn't until literally his last few years that
he really came full circle and really started appreciating it
and embracing the Danny Tanner stuff. And he was like,
all right, you know, like people like it and I
like it, and it's you know, makes people happy. I
(16:28):
guess that's who I am too. And you know, he
had a lot of It's like he was half Danny
Tanner and then half his Entourage character.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
He was like both yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And
how long were you guys together?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
We were together six years but married like three and
a half four years.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah yeah. And so you created this podcast which has
been on for how.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Long now, just since like November is when we pushed it,
so it's still pretty new.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Was this sort of inspired by grief and how to
cope and using sort of food as well. I mean,
is that sort of.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Know you're dead on? Uh, you know, I never really
lost anyone in my life, and going through what I
went through with Bob, which was such a massive, massive
thing that not only did I lose my husband, so
that was incredibly traumatic and incredibly intense and so big,
(17:30):
but it was also done on this huge scale. Because
I mean, I'm sure you realize that when when Bob
passed away, like the amount of outpouring of love that
he received was kind of unlike anything like it was.
It was this strange, wonderful thing that is still going on,
and it's not it's not ending. I mean, people are
(17:52):
still just talking about Bob and all the Bob love
is still so present.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
And so.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Because I all so we had to deal with it
so publicly, I was kind of looked to is this,
you know, young widow who has something to say about this?
And I was like, well, I don't really know what
the hell I'm doing because I've never done this before.
There's no guidebook, especially not how to do it publicly.
(18:19):
But what I can do is talk to a lot
of great people who have also gone through this, and
I just realized that the conversations around grief are not
super comfortable, and they're not very present, and people don't
have them very often. They're still like a little taboo,
(18:40):
And I just thought, how can I make this more palatable?
No pun intended.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Why do you think it's taboo? I mean, do you
think it's Do you think it's taboo? Because everyone grieves differently,
you know, I mean there's no one way to do
it obviously, right, So it's personal thing.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I guess maybe not taboo in the sense of, you know,
like of off color, off limits, but more taboo in
the sense of people are so scared to make other
people uncomfortable. And like, let's say, you know, you lost
somebody in your life. Somebody might be scared to bring
(19:21):
it up to you because they don't want to make
you feel bad, they don't want to make you sad.
What if you're not thinking about it and then they
bring it up and now it ruined your day. It's like, well,
somebody who's grieving once again, is you? You were very
right and saying everyone grieves differently, but for the most part,
people do want to talk about it, and people do
want to talk about their loved ones, Like I love
talking about Bob. I talk about him all the time.
(19:43):
So if ever somebody brings him up, I'm like, great,
I'd love to talk about him.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
But did you have to get to that point though,
you know, because no, no, okay, yeah no.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
For me, I also didn't have a choice because of
the public nature of it, where I mean, yes, I
could have retreated and I could have said like no,
no, no interviews, not talking about this, But that just to me,
that was not honoring him properly because I know how
Bob was, and he was so open about grief and loss,
(20:13):
and he always talked about you know, he lost both
of his sisters, he lost his parents, he lost so
many people, and he was the guy who helped people
through it. And I just knew that I couldn't retreat
from it because it would be doing a disservice to
his legacy because it was the guy that helped people
of this. And so I'm like, all right, I'm no expert.
(20:34):
I've only lost one person. It was a massive loss,
but how can I use this to help other people?
And then the food aspect, like all right, if we're
going to have these potentially difficult sad, uncomfortable conversations, how
can I make it more palatable? Like no pun intended
by having my guests favorite comfort food.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Mm hmm, it's a fun idea. I like that, thank you,
And that's fun. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
And I mean, you know, because of a lot of
my work that I've done in the past has revolved
around food. So how can I integrate that and that
and make it a part of.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
It so that I'm a very specific person as far
as details go, you know, because you know, really when
you learn about someone, it's not in the sort of
casual conversation. It's it's sort of what's underneath and how
people deal with certain situations, you know, especially with something
(21:28):
like this, because I think we all have. You know,
there's a fascination, a morbid fascination. Obviously more death is morbidity,
but like how you would react to these things? And
you know, your parents get older, and there's people around
you who you are immensely in love with, and you know,
(21:49):
you see these things at Saint Jude and these kids
with cancer, and you can't help but project or catastrophize
about sort of how would I do this? How would
I handle this. I don't know if I could, like
am I going to be? Would I be able to
survive something like this? So when that happened, you know,
so suddenly for you, like how how do you react?
(22:11):
How do you deal? How do you how do you
take that in to process that? Or is it just
totally surreal In the beginning, It's like when you get
the fucking phone call, I just like, yeah, you know,
I mean, how does that? How does that go down?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
That was surreal because as you brought up a good
point about catastrophizing, that's something unfortunately that I've done my
whole life is I always think something horrible is going
to happen, And ever since a kid, I was a kid,
I would always think, you know, I think it started
(22:48):
I saw I was a little girl and I saw
in the news like a little girl lost her whole
family in a car accident one time, And so ever
since then, I'm always like, my whole family's going to
get killed in a car accident. And I would think
these horrible things all the time, and then you almost
play it out in your head like whoa, what would
my life be like? What would I do if that
actually happened? To me, but you know, chances are it's
(23:09):
not going to happen. And then I remember with Bob,
he would always tell me, he's like, you worry too much.
You worry too much, You're going to give yourself a disease,
Like you have to stop worrying. And you know, whenever
I couldn't get a hold of him, I would be think,
you know, the worst bad thoughts.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, I mean I have my wife has that too,
big time. I have it a little bit, she has
a big time.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Yeah yeah, And he would just beg me to stop
because you know, he's like, this is so bad for you.
And the irony is that the day he passed, it
like that horrible, horrific day was the first time that,
(23:52):
you know, when I couldn't get ahold of him in
the beginning, it was the first time I told myself, Nope, Kelly,
everything's going to be fine. This is fine. You know,
I'm sure there's like there's always an explanation. There's always
a reason why the phone is off or his phone
wasn't off, but like why they're not answering or whatever.
And I truly did calm myself down. I was like, Kelly,
(24:18):
come on, what are the odds something bad happened. He's fine,
don't freak yourself out. And then it got to the
point where I clearly was, you know, it was legitimate
to be freaked out, because it just kept progressing and
getting worse and worse, where like we knew something bad happened.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Like hours in the day, it meaning hours and hours,
like what the fuck's going on?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Like right, I mean it was the whole thing was
like a two three hour process where I knew he
was supposed to be at the airport and I could
track his phone, and his phone was at the hotel
and he wasn't answering, and then we were calling the
hotel room in that and he wasn't answering there. And
then I was like, maybe he was just really sleeping
hard because he was exhausted from his tour. And I
(24:59):
was like, possible he just didn't set an alarm and overslept,
and you know, so I was rationalizing, trying to think
not the worst case scenario, and then it got to
the point where it was getting too ridiculous. I was like,
Bob's the most reliable person ever. He's never missed a flight,
he's never been late, like this doesn't make sense. And
then you know, the hotel's like we're going to do
(25:20):
a wellness check. The door's locked, we have to break
the door down, you know, like that type of stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Fuck.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, it was so where I was like, Okay, this
isn't my life. I was like, this can't end that way.
This has to end like everything's going to be okay,
Like I can't. Like it was too surreal, as as
you mentioned. And then you know, it was, as I said,
like a two hour process where like they weren't telling
me anything and they're like, you know, paramedics are here.
(25:51):
And then I was like, okay, maybe maybe he had
a heart attack, but he's going to be fine.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
M hm. So you didn't they didn't tell you anything.
You're just you're just hearing, oh, the paramedics here, all right.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I had a friend at my house who was helping
me like communicate because you know, I was frantic, and
I'm and I'm also the link in the chain to
Bob's ex wife and his daughters, so I'm you know,
getting a little info from the hotel and then I'm
calling them and telling them what I heard and calling
my family and we're all like in contact. At this
point we were like, all right, something obviously is going on.
(26:24):
But then finally it was like two hours plus later
when they had to get a security guard on the phone.
It wasn't even like what not a real person, but
I mean it was it wasn't a detective or an
invest I mean it was like a hotel security guard
that told me that unfortunately he passed away. And I
(26:44):
remember I just like completely lost it, like I was
not even human, and I was like, this is not real,
this is not real. But somehow, even through that, I
was somehow able to to like after I laid on
the floor for a while and like you know, it
was like an animal. Then I remember having I was like,
(27:09):
I have to I have to do this. I have
to I've got to talk to people. People are going
to be coming to the house, like I have to
somehow be functioning enough to deal with this. I can't
fall apart. And then it's weird when fifteen minutes later
it's on TMZ and then it's you.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Know, yeah, well then then all the and then I.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Was like, Okay, this is weird, this is not like
how that At that point it hit me, I was
like Okay, this isn't what people normally have to deal with, right.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
You know, right, I mean that's just that's yeah. And
then again and I remember all the rumors and ship
and you know, all that and sort of you get
to deal with that.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Well, that was very upsetting for our family because and
it was not fair to him to have.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
You know, isn't it amazing the machine that just kicks
into gear where something is just formulated and created out
of fucking thin air? You know, It's like, where are
you even getting this shit from? It's just it was
(28:18):
just purely it's just created. You know.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Well, I mean I very specifically remember, you know, because
when it was released what had happened to him that
he fell and it was this very intense fall that
you know, created a very dramatic injury. But I remember
it was I mean, hey, I'll throw this out there.
I've never said this publicly before, but I remember it
(28:41):
was Sanjay Gupdan CNN. He came on. He was like,
this doesn't seem like just consistent with a fall in
a hotel room. This looks like this happened, or this happened,
or this happened. And he named like several things that
were like super dramatic that were obviously proven to not
be accurate, and that's what started I remember very specifically
(29:04):
him just speculating, just trying to get on the news
and speculators what started all of these rumors. So to
this day, I'm yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
J fan with that. So yeah, yeah, now, I know,
I know it's hard because they try to fill airspace
speculation this and that, but they do have some sort
of responsibility, you know, and at the same time because
when it.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Causes pain for the family because now we have to,
you know, do everything to protect Bob's privacy and dignity
and respect like that's you know, it's just very irresponsible
how some people handle it.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Do you think humans? And I'm asking you because you've
experienced it, but and I've always wondered this, if something
happens that kicks into gear that is unknown in our
sort of everyday, normal, daily life to when a tragedy
like this happens that you don't or one doesn't just
(30:07):
completely fall apart and become dysfunctional and that's the end
of it. I mean, is there something that switches where
you're like, Okay, I have to handle shit and I
can grieve later. I can cry later, I can do
all that, but I have to fucking get into gear
and handle shit right now.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yeah, and it kind of I know you touched on
this a minute ago and I didn't totally answer, but
you're totally right that that's what happens. Because if you
would have asked me prior to this, like how would
you reactive? Right it's been just suddenly died, Yeah, I
would have been like I would have been inconsolable. I
would have been have zero human function and I would
(30:48):
not be okay. And something kicked in even that day,
which is really strange. And I'll tell you something else
said I don't think I've ever said, is that I
had just gotten over COVID, Like that was the first
day that I tested negative and I wasn't super sick,
but I had this horrific sore throat that was so
(31:10):
bad that I could I mean, I was in tears
for days because it hurt so bad. And I remember
that morning I was texting Bob over and over and
over again, like my throat is still hurting, like something
is wrong. This doesn't make sense. I'm in so much pain,
Like what do we do? And he wasn't answering. So
that's what triggered me, you know, trying to find out
why he wasn't answering. But somehow, it was literally like
(31:36):
within five minutes of finding out what had happened to him,
as I said, like I couldn't for days, I was
in so much pain that instant, my sore throat just
went away. It just went away, where like all the
sickness like was just gone. And it was almost like
my brain was like, Okay, we're giving you a little
(31:58):
bit of extra strength now and we're going to take
away this pain because the emotional pain is going to
be enough, so at least you have no physical pain
right now. And it was really strange, and it like
I just kind of kicked into gear where I was like,
all right, I've got shit to do, yeah, and I
have to rise to the occasion for his girls and
for him, and I don't have a choice to just retreat.
(32:23):
And I'm sure that's different for some people, Like I
couldn't even imagine people like let's say somebody losing a
child or something. That's that's a thing where if somebody
is going to retreat and go into a hole like
that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
You know, what about faith? Where are you? I mean,
do you have Are you a religious person? You know?
Because I'm not. I mean candidly, I don't believe in
God necessarily as sort of an entity in the sky.
You know. I think I believe, I believe in spirituality.
I believe in faith. You know what I'm saying, because
(32:59):
faith is to me a big word. It's broad. I
could have faith in this, Yetti, I could have so
much faith in this. YETI that it can bring me
comfort during pain. You know that I can rely on
this if I just have faith in it, that this
is the next level right here. You know. So I
believe in that, and it does bring comfort, and it
(33:21):
does bring some sort of I guess, well, who knows
if it's a real answer, but it gives you some
kind of an answer. Oh it's okay, I'll see him again,
or I'll see her again, or you know, this is
God's plan. That's my own shit.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
But are you Yeah, my faith was incredibly helpful. I
am Christian, so that was something that was truly helpful
for me, and it was not. It's interesting because usually
in times of deep distress is when a lot of
times people can lose their faith or be you know,
(34:00):
question it more. And to me it it never wavered
in the sense of and what you said is you know,
being religious or not. I mean, religion is a it's
a totally different story. And to me, religion is like
you're follow you're pious, and you're following a set of rules.
(34:23):
That's not how IM like, I'm not religious in that aspect.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
For me.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
It's more of just a relationship. So I feel like
I have that relationship with God. I remember God. It
was like not even a week after my sister, the
one who's here with me now, she uh stayed like
slept in my bed with me for like a month straight,
and I remember she said to me, because she's very like,
(34:51):
I'm not great at expressing my faith and talking about
all of it. Like if somebody is really inquisitive, I
can have a great discussion about it, But for the
most part, I'm not. You know, like for instance, my
friend Candace, you know, like she's candas cameraon, like she's
like super open about it. Yeah, she's like she's so
(35:13):
confident in expressing that to people, and I'm not as
if somebody is open to having a discussion, great but
like my sister is like a canvas, okay. And so
she was sitting in bed with me one day and
she's like, you know, I just really want to make
sure that this isn't you know, uh, you know, taking
(35:35):
away from or hurting your your your faith in God.
And I was like, and it's strange. All I said
was I go No, I said, Actually not at all,
I said, because I said, I exist, I'm here. If
I exist and I'm here, I know that there's something.
And if I know that there's something, ultimately, I know
(35:58):
that this is going to be used for good. And
it was just kind of up to me in that
moment to be like, all right, how can this be
used for good? And I think especially with Bob, the
immense gratitude I had for that I had him for
the six years, and you know, his girls and his
(36:19):
friends will say that those last six years were the
happiest of his life. And you know, even though he
was sixty five, yes, we wanted him to be ninety
five or one hundred and five. He thought he was
going to be one hundred and twenty five. He's always
like I'm going to outlive you. I'm like, you're not
going to be one hundred and twenty, and he's like, yes,
(36:41):
I am. Anyway, the fact that he still had sixty
five years where he truly made a difference and changed
the world and made it a better place and left
this incredible legacy made me so grateful for that. And
even though we wished we would have had more time
with him, it's like he did so much and that
(37:03):
sixty five years, like what more could you really ask for?
Like he raised three incredible daughters, He made a difference,
he found love, he you know, had this special life.
So I was just so grateful for that that that's
what I ended up focusing on versus this isn't fair?
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Why me? And how long did it? Did it take
you a minute to get there or was it a meet?
Pretty immediate?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
It was pretty immediate, you know, like that first week
or two was uh, pretty difficult. Actually, I just did
a Instagram video about this where I had a guest
on my podcast recently who talked about right when she
had lost her dad and she had a couple other
(37:49):
traumatic things happened to her that she completely went into
this zone and like didn't drink, didn't you know where
normally you think that you're going to lose somebody, You're
gonna like, I'm gonna numb myself. I'm going to need
to do all, you know, all the substances. And that's
kind of what happened to me. Like I would have thought, Oh,
(38:10):
I'm gonna I'm going to go down to spiral, Yeah,
and I didn't. Like I I was scared of putting
anything in my body because I needed to stay super
clear and super alert. And I knew. I was like,
this is big. I have a lot to do, Like
I have to give his eulogy, Like I can't you know,
(38:31):
be messed up during that, Like I have possible exactly.
And so I think except for let's say that first
week or two where I was in surreal mode, immediately
after that, I was, especially once we found out what
happened to him, because there was all this weird limbo
(38:52):
for the first few weeks or we're like did he
have a heart attack? Did he have a stroke?
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Like what happened?
Speaker 2 (38:57):
And then when we found out what it was, as
in a sense, like a heart attack maybe would have
been a little easier because it's not an accident, I know,
you know, when we're like, oh, it's this freak accident,
but we're like, it happened, there's nothing we can do
about it. Yeah, And once we at least had the finality,
then it was a little easier to move on and
(39:20):
be like, Okay, now let's deal with it.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
From that day on, I was just so grateful and.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
That grieving process, you know, obviously it's ongoing and probably forever.
I mean, life changes forever when someone you love dies
suddenly like that. Not to say you can't move on, obviously,
that's a very important part of life, you know, is
sort of processing and moving on, and especially with someone
(39:46):
like Bob, who would want you to have a full,
beautiful life and not have this situation if he is
looking down put you in a hole to where you're
eighty five years old, and you know, I have done nothing.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
You know, I don't know, Oliver, I don't know. See
my jokes always I was separating. I have to separate
earthly Bob from heavenly Bob. You know, Earthly Bob would
be like if you ever moved on, like, how dare you?
Speaker 1 (40:18):
How could you?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
You know, because he was always like, you know, very
protective in that aspect. And then but then like his
his daughter's. You know, when when it came to the conversation,
you know, a while after about like me even potentially
thinking about dating, they were very supportive about it, and
they're like, he would want you to be happy, and
(40:40):
I was like really, and they're like, yes, of course
he would. And hearing it from them made me accept
that because for a while I was only picturing of
like the Bob that I knew, and form would be
like not that but.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Like jealous Bob or like hey if I go, you're fucking.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Oh yeah, because we already talked about it, we never
had that conversation of like what would happen?
Speaker 1 (41:06):
So, yeah, that's funny. Did that play on your mind though,
of like how he would feel or think about you
potentially moving on even though you're young and have so
much life ahead of you. I mean, does that play
in tear?
Speaker 2 (41:21):
I truly for a while pictured him being like how
could you even think about it? And then, you know,
as I said, when I had some of his best
friends sit me down and be like, all right, you
need to start thinking about this, I was like, really, yes,
that's what he would want, and I was like, are
you sure? And then when his girls said it. I
(41:42):
was like, okay, okay, he'd be okay with it. And
then it's funny and everyone agrees with me that with
my boyfriend. Now we all say that, like he's truly
the only person that we feel like Bob would actually
be okay with. They liked each other, they had this
mutual respect, and you know, we're like, all right, he
(42:05):
wouldn't love it, but he'd be like, all right, I'm
okay with this.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And how did that all come about?
You know what I mean? First of all, did you
were you did you have the conversation with the girls
and you know a lot of Bob's friends. Was this
before Brecon came into your life or was this sort
of like it was like, look, you've done your thing.
I think it's time you sort of get out there
and move move forward, not on, but kind of move forward.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah, we had had that conversation, and you know, a
couple of conversations, like a little over a year after
Bob passed, and then it was not for a good
six months after that that. I mean, Breck and I
we met before. But one of his best friends is
one of Bob's best friends and so it was like
a reconnection through like mutual friends. So it felt very
(42:52):
comfortable because he wasn't like a stranger you know that
you just randomly meet or something like that. So there
was this initial sense of like comfort mutual friends.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
How are you able to be like, hmm, okay, I'm
feeling something. Do I fucking act on this? Oh? My god?
Like what do I do? And I've known Breck and
I haven't seen him in a long time, but I've
known him and he's such a sweet human being. So
obviously his empathy or his compassion, you know, for something
like this and handling it, you know, I mean, how
(43:34):
does one go about that? And they even speak to
the broader idea too, because you know of someone who
has lost someone who then needs to is finding someone
else and how that happens, and the guilt and the
acceptance in all of those things.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
And to be honest, this is another topic that I'm
just so fascinated by because number one, it's something I
never thought about. I had never been through this myself,
and now that I've gone through it, you meet all
these other people who are going through similar situations. I'm like,
this is you know, a big topic to kind of
(44:12):
dive into because it does affect a lot of people,
and for me, it was really important, you know, when
I even would potentially think about, like one day in
the future, if I'm dating somebody, I'm like, they're going
to have to understand that Bob is never going anywhere,
like he's always like I mean, even if you look
around my house, like I have pictures of Bob. I have,
(44:34):
you know, his last poster ever from the night before
he passed away that he signed, you know, Bob Saget.
I mean, it's all over and I'm like, anyone I'm
with is just going to have to understand that I'm
always going to be, you know, talking about him, and
you know, whether it's podcasts or interviews or whatever, it is,
like he's always going to be a part of my
(44:55):
life and his girls are always a part of my life.
And they'd have to be confident enough and comfortable enough
with that. And you know, I've said before that I've
I've got very lucky and that you know, finding someone
who is super confident and super just understanding and empathetic
(45:19):
when it comes to all of that and asks questions,
you know, like what was Bob's favorite TV show, like
what did Bob like to eat? Like, Oh, did Bob
like this movie? You know, And so Bob's always a
part of the conversation, and it's it's just been really
nice to know that I can be myself with it
(45:39):
and always have a place for Bob and it's never
an issue with him, or it's never uncomfortable for him.
And I mean there have been times where I've been like, hey,
just making sure, like kind of checking in, like this
is cool, right that we talk about Bob or then
he's always like course, yeah, yeah, yeah, if it's ever
a problem, I'll let you know. But it's not. You
(46:00):
know that it's just not a thing. He's just super
understanding about it also.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
And then coming and then sort of you know, I know,
you've probably got a lot of positive feedback, and then
a lot of people who are like, how could you write?
I mean, that's just the world we live in. And
then and then when do you decide to sort of say,
you know what, fuck it, like this is my life. Yeah,
here we go.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
I think because from day one I had just this
overwhelming avalanche of support from so many people, people who
I knew, people who I didn't know. I was pretty
confident that ultimately everything was going to be very supportive now,
(46:47):
and because I knew that I did things in a
very respectful way. You know, yes, if this was if
he had passed away and then two months later dating
somebody like I would expect some backlash, but this was,
you know, a year and a half, two years later,
it was very respectful. I had the blessing of all
(47:07):
of his family and friends, and I just knew that
I was doing things properly. And because I knew in
my heart that what I was doing was okay, ultimately,
I didn't really care. All I cared about was like
Bob's girls, and if they were okay with it, then
I was okay with it. And if anyone, if some
(47:28):
stupid troll on Instagram said something negative, like I don't care,
but even with you know, news of me actually like
dating somebody came out like once again, ninety nine point
nine nine nine nine nine percent positive. Anyone that said
anything negative were those stupid internet trolls that I just
don't care about. But since everyone has something to say,
(47:53):
even you know, those few little chirpy trolls that sneak
in there, into the conversation, I still felt it was
important to address that because some people aren't maybe as
fortunate as I where they get negative feedback even from
their family or from their friends. Like maybe they start
(48:14):
dating somebody six months after and they're going to have
people say negative things. And the whole point is nobody
can judge. It is not anyone's place to judge someone
who lost their partner because no matter what, like no
one knows exactly what that relationship was, and you could
(48:35):
have loved that person more than anything in your entire life,
and then when they're gone, like you don't know what
is down the road for you. So you know, people
don't judge a man sometimes when six months later he's
remarried already, you know. But for a woman it's a
little different.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
You know.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
There's you know, people say like they expect you know,
like I'm Sicilian. You know I had like my Sicilian
grandma when I when my grandpa died, like she wore
black for like years, you know.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
What I mean.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
It's like like my my hometown in Sicily looks it's
literally right next to Quota Leone. So it's like you
picture the Godfather. Yeah, yeah, So I had this image
in my mind. I'm like, am I supposed to be
that old Italian lady wearing black like forever?
Speaker 1 (49:20):
You know?
Speaker 2 (49:21):
And that's sometimes the image people have, and yeah, that's
I just wanted to address that. Whether you find somebody
two months after or twenty years after, yep, everyone's on
their own time schedule, and nobody can really judge because
through it you don't understand.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
I couldn't agree with you more. I think that the
you know, the judgment on something like this, it's an impossibility,
because how are you supposed to step into someone's shoes?
I mean, you know, so even how Howard Stearn's like
I'm obsessed, like he's I fucking love him? Right, But
he did?
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Did you hear he made me as a sound bit?
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Of course? This is what I'm saying. This is what
I'm saying, like, oh I've heard. I listened every episode,
like I heard the thing and then and he made
you the thing was It's like it was like it
was like may but you should feel honored, honestly, like
I know it might have been crazy, but he's just
what's great about him is he's just going through his
(50:22):
own insecurity sort of about Beth and like, if this
was Beth and he was in heaven and heard that,
he'd be like, what the fuck. But you know, how
did you take that?
Speaker 2 (50:31):
The joke about that? See, I I know Bob loved
Howard Reckon love toward yeah, and so I've never you know,
I hear I would see clips here and there online
and throughout life, but I was never an avid listener.
And then somebody told me about this. I was like,
what They're like, oh, he talked about you for like
ten minutes today, ye like four different times, and now
(50:53):
it's like they use my maybe as a he oh
my god. And it was so embarrassed, and you know,
I listened to it and I heard, you know, yes,
you're right, it was because of his own insecurity, is
like if I die, better never move on. She better
just live in an attic forever. But the joke was,
(51:14):
you know, I did this interview. I forget whether it
was like you're extra or something. The first time you know,
we ever did like went out in public together and
somebody's like, oh, is this is debut here? And I
was like maybe, like that's where it came from. And
I'm like, of course the one time. My voice is
the most annoying it's ever really is when Howard Stern
(51:38):
clips it and then puts it on replay forever, and
so it's like the most annoying I've ever sounded is
now immortalized and thinks it's hilarious because, like as you said,
he's like, oh, it's it's kind of an honor. I'm like, oh,
it's so embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Why do I have to say that? Loves Howard?
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Right, so he thinks that he thinks it's hilarious. I'm
kind of mortified.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
I think you are because now I get to know you.
You know, obviously there's a perception that comes of you
when all of a sudden, it's the SoundBite view being
like maybe it's like this is not indicative of who
you are in any way.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
Right, I'm not this little like mousey like me. That's
how it sounded, and.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
It came out of your mouth in the.
Speaker 2 (52:25):
Beginning, because my voice sounds so annoying, and I'm like,
I swear that's not how I always sound.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
When you did it in the moment, we were like,
oh Jesus, wait, did I was it? Did I just
go too high pitched? There? Did my octave go.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
I think in the moment I was so caught off
guard because I wasn't anticipating questions about that, and so
I was just being like kind of just silly, like
yeah yeah. And then when I heard it back, even
way before it went on Howard, when I saw a
clip back, I was like, oh, like, why did you
how like that?
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Never knowing you should feel on or listen to Breckon.
That's an honor, that's an honor that you are. You
are a sound drop, you on our ebscern show. It
is will you should embrace it, trust me and your
man like, this is really fascinating to me. And I
love the way that you've handled everything, and I think
(53:18):
you know, the net net of it is, it's just
important not to pass judgment on anyone who's been through
something like this and how they continue their lives and
what they do, because you don't know what it's like
until you're fucking in it, you know what I mean,
You just don't. And I'm glad that ninety nine point
nine percent is all positive because it should be. You know,
(53:41):
I do want to talk about real quick before we
get out of here. Is the Special Forces Show what
was that? Like, you know, Body Miller is a good
friend of mine, so I talked to him a little
bit about it. But was it just gnarly?
Speaker 2 (53:56):
It was gnarly. Body was also kind of Body and
Jack Osborne were like my saviors there because they had
been through I mean, Bodie's like, uh, I've been in
helicopters seventy two thousand times, and you know, I've been
in these extreme situations. And Jack had done so much
of this stuff too, So when things were getting really
dicey and very scary, I would lean on them and
(54:19):
they were just so comforting. But yeah, it was insane.
It's simultaneously the best and the worst thing I've ever
done in my life, the worst because it was.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
It was it was insane.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
It was just insane and it was and it was
no joke, like it was real, Like there was no
oh my god, you are sleeping on the military cot
with no pillows or blankets, and it's you eat when
they tell you to eat, and if you don't, it's
not like there's a vending machine and there's no craft services,
like you go hungry if you don't eat at the
(54:57):
designated meal times, like in the mess Hall, and it
was what scared me more was the sleeping situation and
that type of thing versus being thrown off of cliffs
like that I was fine with. I loved the challenges.
Speaker 1 (55:17):
That was fun for me.
Speaker 2 (55:18):
To me, it was more of the endurance stuff and
the sleeping stuff that to me was the challenge. But
it was the greatest thing I've ever done. Jack and
I would joke that if like a van just pulled
up to us right now, like an unmarked white van
was like get in, We're going back, I'd be like.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
Okay, do you regret tapping out? Because what did you
tap out on? Again? I watched the.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Like we had to carry that Navy seal zodiac boat
like over in mind. You know I was at the time,
you know, well it was less than euro So I
was forty four, in very good shape for being forty four,
but still not Tyler Cameron shape or a Tom sand
(56:07):
of All shape who's in insane shape. And then the
other person was the Olympic gold metal speed skater whose
eyes were like tree fronks and she was a solid
muscle and she's thirty okay, so I'm like, obviously I
was the weakest link. No matter how good of shape
I was in, I was still a forty four year
old woman who was like not Tyler Cameron. Okay.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
So it was.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
The most physically abusive thing I've ever experienced in my life.
And I was on two hours of sleep a day.
This was day four. I wasn't sleeping. I was delirious.
And then they're like, Hi, carry this five hundred pounds
in an awkward way, like you couldn't no matter how
you tried, you couldn't really carry it.
Speaker 1 (56:51):
Well yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (56:54):
Then they're screaming in your ear. And then one guy's
yelling saying like Bob's looking down on you. He says
you can do it, like Bob's proud of you. And
I was like, oh fuck, Like come on, like I can't.
Speaker 1 (57:08):
Bob's up there, like just tap up, Bobs, Like.
Speaker 2 (57:11):
What are you doing torturing yourself? Go to your hotel
and have a martini and put this is exactly Bob
would be like, why are you doing this? Like the
whole time, I'm like he would have been I think
I thought I was crazy for doing in the first place,
and have been like, look, I think this is stupid,
But if you want to do it.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
Go ahead, But yeah, it was you were hurt. You
were like, I can't my leg or my legs.
Speaker 2 (57:36):
Were my knees felt like like it was like bone
on bone, and I was like, I don't want to
do permanent damage to myself, right, So yes, I was
weakened tremendously and had I maybe had been on a
little bit more sleep and not as been as delirious.
I knowing what I know now, I probably should have
(57:58):
and could have pushed myself little bit more because there
were challenges like the next day that I really wanted
to do right, Like I wanted to do the helicopter
being submerged in the water, like I wanted to do
all that I wanted to do. The fighting.
Speaker 1 (58:09):
Yeah, how how cold was that water by the way,
like freezing?
Speaker 2 (58:13):
Well that we went into was a frozen pond, Like
they had to chainsaw a whole lot. It was frozen.
So I mean, whateut thirty three degrees?
Speaker 1 (58:24):
Oh my god? What about the sas and then the
guys like when cameras cut, were they like cool?
Speaker 2 (58:31):
No, they did not break character at all, because it's
not really even a character, like that's just the lives
that they lived. So they did not break character at all.
We got zero comfort from them. We got reality from them,
Like there were times where you know, they were kind
but not friendly.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
The only issue I had with the whole thing, like,
I love watching it the physical, you know, mental aspect
and the you know, the grind. I love that stuff.
But when they like take you into the room with
the hood on and the goggles, I'm like, feels performative,
I know, but like, how do you take that seriously?
(59:26):
I mean, I'm such a jokey person, you know, and
I can commit, you know, I'm an actor. I can
commit to it. But at the same time, they do
this whole thing and you're like, all right, kind of
like what is this?
Speaker 2 (59:38):
I'm telling you. When you're there, it is so feeling
it you you're you're scared shitless. It is not because
you don't see cameras. There's no producers. There's no camera
like when you're on base, cameras on the walls.
Speaker 1 (59:54):
It's all hidden.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
You do not see there's no cameraman, there's no producers.
It is just you and the DS period end of story.
So you're in their world. And so when they're yelling
at you and they're like number fourteen, like get to
the wall and then they bring you in to interrogate you. Yeah,
there's no camp, like it's real.
Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
Scary and they're mean and that actually though when they
they didn't show my interrogation, which I was little bummed about,
but yeah, that's when when they brought me in and
you know, they're like you can do this, like we
believe that you, like you can go the distance here,
like you just have to believe in yourself. Blah blah blah.
And then one of the guys, Rudy, he brought up
(01:00:36):
Bob and he's like, I didn't know who your husband
was and and I didn't know that, you know, what
was your husband. And he's like he I loved him
so much and and like he almost started like or
he did start crying, and then I started crying. And
it was this very like human moment where I was like, oh,
they are people, you know, and it was, uh, it
(01:01:01):
was a really really special experience. It was very real.
And we're all friends now yeah now like the ds,
like we're all Instagram friends. We've had dinners and stuff.
But during filming, Oh, they do not.
Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Break yeah, oh fun. I know I couldn't. I couldn't
make it enough.
Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
If you have a chance, yeah, if the opportunity comes
up again, yeah, I mean it's it's the coolest thing
I've ever done in my life. Yeah, I mean, when
are you going to get that opportunity to never know
those things?
Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
Yeah, it's it's it's cool and all the personalities and
you know, it's definitely a fun place to be. I
mean it's gnarly, but it's fun. Last thing, do you
have you had dreams about Bob? Do you have their signs?
You know, have you had those moments where it's like
holy shit or is that you know.
Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
What that chrangely? I had never really had a dream
about him until last night. Was my first dream about
him really.
Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Yeah. Ah.
Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
I've had some dream about him where I felt like
I was at a dinner table or something and he
was there, but never like right where we didn't have
a conversation or anything. And last night was the first
time where you know, once again, dreams become fuzzy after
wake up, so I don't remember the exact context, but
I remember very specifically that he kind of came back,
(01:02:24):
so it wasn't like he was always there, you know,
like he was alive or it wasn't like it was
like we had known that he was gone, but he
came back, and I remember I was like hugging him,
like very very tight and like trying to talk to him.
I don't remember what he was saying back, but I
remember he was wearing his black robe, like his fuzzy
black like bathrobe that he would like always wear every day,
(01:02:46):
and also like you know, he'd have his cigar in
all the time. And so I remember I was like
hugging him tight and like trying to talk to him.
But then I don't totally remember what happened, but it
was a very distinct, prominent, like hug holding type.
Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
Yeah, wow, that happened. That's great.
Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
Yeah, so that was last night.
Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Thanks for being my therapist today.
Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
Anytime, anytime, and comfort food and all of your guests
today have some sort of trauma or some sort of loss. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
So, you know it started out I had a lot
of Bob's friends. I've had a lot of comedians, you know,
whether it was Jeff Ross, John Mayer, Stamos, Dave Poolier.
I actually have Candice this week.
Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
Cool actually tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
And but then just a lot of other people who
have gone through it's it's not always necessarily grief, but
something difficult, like for instance, I had Jack Osborne on
you know, he has ms, he went through a divorce, like,
so everyone has something to bring to the table in
terms of that they can contribute that can then help
other people. So they're talking about how they got through it,
(01:04:03):
but then they're also I'm asking them what was most
helpful to them and least helpful to them. So this
way people listening they know if they have a friend
going through it kind of what not to do and
what they should be doing in order to help them
most effectively.
Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
That's a great, great point. All right, Well, thanks for
being thank killing cool. Yeah. I wanted to get that
Howard Stern thing in there for sure, because you know,
obviously I'm a big fan and he uses that as
(01:04:40):
like as Fred uses that as like a drop I
don't know, very cool, very cool interview, what a strong person,
you know. I think what I got most out of
that was everyone has their own process when it comes
to lass and grief, and we're probably a little too
(01:05:01):
quick to judge on how someone might move on or
handle themselves because it's such a traumatic situation. Our bodies
go into a mode and you don't know what mode
you're going to go into until you experience it, and
hopefully no one has to experience it, but to pass
(01:05:22):
any kind of judgment on somebody, Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous
to me. And yeah, she was awesome. That was fun.
That was fun. I think I'm good at this solo stuff,
you know, I think I'm pretty good at the solo.
Just keep the flow going, baby christ All right, love y'all.
(01:05:43):
Peace album
Hi am Kate Hudson, and my name is Oliver Hudson.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
And what it's like to be siblings. We are a
sibling railvalry.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
No, no, sibling rail, don't do that with your mouth.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Revelry. That's good. Pay Yeah, that's my intro. That's my
intro clip. It just goes like this, Oliver Hudson on
sibling revelry.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
It's sort of like a minor note which it's like
starts with ah, which which is like kind of happy,
and then it goes ah, which you're you're descending down
into you know, the miners, you know, which is like, oh,
man like ah, and then you hit that, which means
(01:16):
you're just like depressed. So, uh, this this little signature
that I've just created. It starts with like, oh, life
is good, and then you can even drop down to
that base if it if it's getting really bad. So
that is my new signature. And as you listen to
(01:38):
this show, you will know what my mood is based
on whether it's an ascending which is like, oh life
is pretty fucking good, or which means like I woke
up this morning. Things are supposed like when the minue
you wake up in the morning, you know, you open
(02:01):
your eyes and it's a fresh day. Life can be anything.
So there's this sense of optimism when you open your
eyes like okay, it's a new day. And then you know,
as the minutes take on, it just goes to you
know what I'm saying, like, it's rare for me when
(02:24):
it's just goes ah where it's just fucking flying all day. Anyway,
this is Oliver Hudson in case you are just tuning
in and we have I have we have a really
fun guest today, Kelly Rizzo. I have never met her,
(02:49):
but she was married to Bob Saggott, who I actually
knew pretty well. And I'm excited to have a conversation
with her about multiple things, not just Bob, you know,
and grief and sort of how one deals with something
like that, and I'm sure it's all individual. Everyone has
their own ways, but also digging into sort of fresh love,
(03:12):
what it's like, how to you know, get over the
hump and find love again? Special Forces who's on that show.
I want to talk to her about that and you know,
whatever comes into my stupid brain, you know what I'm saying,
but let's bring uh, let's bring Kelly in. Hello, how
(03:33):
are you?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I am h Let me think because everyone just automatically says, oh,
I'm good. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
When I ask, I sincerely ask, But do you really?
I mean, I guess it depends on their context. Yes,
walking past somebody in the street is a different story
than me asking you right.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Hey, I'm good.
All right, I'm good. I've got my helme and great kids.
Great is sometimes tough, you know, it depends on what
your standard of great is. You know, some people wake
up and life is great, and I know, really we
(04:19):
need to have these positive affirmations.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
You know, and wake up every morning and being like,
you know, I life is great and it's going to
be a great day, and I believe in that. But
at the same time, when you're re evaluating sort of
your life, it's to evaluating your day.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Do you do the positive affirmations?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, you know, I was heavily into it, just writing
my journal, you know, every every morning, and I would
sort of just write ten ten things I'm grateful for,
sort of gratitude.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Okay, so Gratitude Journal.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Yeah, the problem is, like, you know, the ten things
were all the fucking same all the time, you know
what I mean, Like I got bored of my gratitudes.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I'm like my kids, my wife, you know, all the stuff,
all the great things, all the great things. But I'd say,
I'm good. I'm happy to be talking to you. I'm
happy to have a producing deal at Fox. I'm happy
to have my children healthy and my wife. I need money,
(05:21):
you know what I mean? Like, what's a fucking crazy
time right now?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Amen?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I mean I know we're all just grinding and hustling
over here, right.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So apparently this podcast has quickly
become about me, which is not really the way it's
supposed to go.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
But well, but I love the podcast. It's so great.
You know, whether you've got the sibling dynamic or whether
it's you solo works both ways. It's great. And now
she's off doing her music, right.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, she's doing her music. She's amazing.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah, it's a pretty everything.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Everything is happening very quickly. You know, I think the
launches on Saturday, you know, we're going to see her
do her album. And it's it's exciting, so talented.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
So I was so impressed because you know, I'm sure
over the years I've heard her seeing a little here
and there, but not to this like soulful incredible. Uh,
you know, this kind of genre that she's into is
just so and it's so impressive, so very impressed.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
No, I know, it's crazy. I mean, the talent is insane. Yeah,
you know, I mean it really is. And as an
older brother, you can only be so happy and then
you have to get angry. That's kind of the way
it works, you know what I mean, It's like, oh great,
you know, everything's going great for you.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Synamic, I know, I know all about it.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, that's my own that's my own psychology. Do you
have siblings, by the way, I do.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I have two sisters. I'm the oldest as well, oh good,
and the oldest. The three girls were very very close.
So I'm well, I'll be forty five on Sunday, and
then my middle sister is forty one, and then my
youngest is forty so we're all pretty pretty tight there.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, and y'all grew up in Chicago, right, grew up
in Chicago.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
One's actually here with me, right, now for like a
week or so, and then my youngest lives in Chicago.
She's the one that's got kids, and she's the one
that made my parents grandparents, and they're very very excited
about that. So at least one of us did that.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, that's a necess it's so older too, we're like nah, yeah,
And then the youngest one's like, all right, I'll be
the good one and give you the grandkids.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Oh well, good. And growing up, were you guys all
pretty tight or was there like real sibling dynamic?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
There both very very close, my middle sister and I.
And it's funny because my younger, you know, the two
my other my two sisters are seventeen months apart, so
they're very close in age. But my middle sister and
I have always been the two peas in a pod,
like we are, have been the closest since we were
(08:02):
since she was born. My youngest sister had a little
bit of I mean, we've all had our little rebellious stages,
but she was a little bit more rebellious from the
family where she wasn't as close with us, like as
a teenager and kind of growing up. But then we
all got really close when we said she turned nice
(08:23):
when she was in her twenties, Like she wasn't nice
until she was in her twenties, and now she's really
really really nice. So now we all get along really great.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
But there was that moment of like, get your shit together,
like bel please.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
It was decades. It was a good two full decades
where we're like, you're just you're just not You're not
very nice.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
But how do you deal with that? Though? You know
what I mean as siblings, you know, obviously communication is
always the best. Just what everyone says. Sometimes that's difficult,
you know, to just say what you feel because you
don't want that other person to either fly off the
rails or to make it worse.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Well, there was a lot of I mean, I don't know,
like were you and Kate physical did you get into
physical stuff too? Or no?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
No, no, I mean I just she just annoyed the
shit out of me, you know what I mean. Like
we were young, and you know, she was fabulous and
dancing everywhere and look at me, look at me and
all this stuff, and I was kind of more chill
and being like kay, like Jesus, stop it, Like it
just frustrated me and It's funny because I have two
(09:31):
boys and a daughter, and my daughter's the youngest, and
she's fabulous too, and she loves to dance and perform
and do her thing. And you can see her brothers
just being like Rio, just chill, just just bring it down,
you know what I mean. I can see that. So
it wasn't it wasn't physical, but it was just annoyance.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Well, my sisters and I were very physical, and to
the point where my parents were constantly having to split us.
I mean we were We would fight like wow, wrestle, punch, kick, fight,
I mean pinch, like we had marks on our arms,
like just bloody pinch marks all the time, to where
my parents would fear that when we'd go in public,
(10:15):
people would think that we were being abused because like
wow of marks and bruises all over the place. And
so that even went through full on teenage years and
then that calmed down, but there was always I mean
still to this day. I mean, I'm sure as you know,
(10:35):
whether it's with your siblings or with your kids, like
you can say the meanest things ever to your siblings,
where you could never imagine saying any of that to
anybody else. And then an hour later you're like, oh,
I love you, you know, And yeah, we still have
that even in our forties. We just when we get
into it. Sometimes we get into it and it can
(10:56):
be cruel and evil, and then ten minutes later we're
best friends again.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I think that's healthy, you know. I mean, it's just
not taking it too personally. That's what it is. Like.
There's love there at the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Oh my god, so much love. I couldn't imagine my
life without my sisters. They are truly everything to me.
But it's when you meet an only child sometimes you
can see that the way that they've developed is a
little different because they'd never had those checks and balances
in place, Like they never really understood the limits that
(11:30):
they could go to without getting kind of punched back
into place. You know. Sometimes they had no limits. Maybe
their parents let them get away with stuff where siblings
won't let you get away with stuff.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
So it's interesting to see the different dynamics and relationships
when you meet somebody that's an only child because they
just didn't have that growing up.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
No I know, I know, And was there any part
of you that wanted ever wanted children.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I thought that I would have kids because it's just
what you do. You think that it's really almost not
an option to not have kids, like you grow up,
you get married, you have kids. But I never really
felt that maternal instinct in that urge, like I never
(12:17):
really wanted to. I was like, well, I'll do it
because you have to do it. And then as I
got older, I you know, I knew I was getting
to that point where Okay, this might happen soon, and
then I was always like, oh, it doesn't look really
like it's for me, but still it's what you do.
And then when I met Bob, he was open to
(12:40):
the idea at first because he already had three grown
children that were in their late twenties at the time.
You don't want to do it again. But he gave
me the option in the beginning. And then when we
got really serious and I was moving out to la
to live with him, He's like, we got to talk.
I'm not doing I can't do it again. Yeah, yeah,
(13:02):
And I was like, I don't blame you. I wouldn't
want to be pushing a stroller in my sixties, and
and so I didn't blame him at all, and I
just had to make that decision, like do I choose
this wonderful man and not have kids, or do I
(13:22):
leave him and then maybe hope I find someone one day,
you know, and you never know what's going to happen.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
So were his his kids were older. But did you
in any way walk into a stepmother role. It's kind
of different when the kids are so old. You're almost here,
you know.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
And it's funny because like on Mother's Day they texted
me Happy Mother's Day, step Mommy Kelly. I mean, they're
in their thirties now and they call me step mommy Kelly,
and that's awesome. You know, every day we say I
love you, and literally I'm because public made them call
me step mommy Kelly, and now it's stuck and that's
what they do. So in a sense, yes, but we're
(14:01):
also much more on a like a friend level and
also almost kind of like a big sister level because
we are. I mean, I'm on average, like ten years
older than they are, so you know, we're not super
super close in age. But but yeah, there is also
(14:21):
like a stepmom role where I feel very close to
them in the sense of, you know, I always have
them over for dinners and I'll have Thanksgiving at my
house and I I try to I try to be
a good step mommy Keilly.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, you know, I knew Bob. No, I knew Bob forever.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I was going to ask, I was going to ask,
what if you had a relationship at all the Wayeah?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
I did?
Speaker 1 (14:51):
I did? I did, because he actually dated a friend
of mine back in the day. Her name was juliet Oh. Yeah,
you know Juliette.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, she and I became instant friends.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, we were, We were. Juliette was friends with my
friends and we all kind of and then she started
dating Bob and that's where I met him. And the
most shocking thing about him was how fucking dirty he was,
because he has this perception or had this perception of
a full house and he's good at two shoes. But
all of a sudden, we meet Bob and he's saying
(15:21):
the craziest, raunchiest, insane things, and it was off putting.
I'm like, whoa, what do you mean? Like America's Funny's
on video? Guy, Like you're you're you're like a dirty dude, you.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Know, And it's funny in the world of comedy, he's not.
He's you know, he's on in par with a lot
of the other comedians. But when you juxtapose it to
what you thought he was based on his family television
and House America's Funny So Home videos, then it's that disparity,
(15:54):
which is so shocking.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, oh yeah, No.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
He played off of it, and he he loved, you know,
showing people how he.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Was not yeah, Danny Tanner.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
And it wasn't until literally his last few years that
he really came full circle and really started appreciating it
and embracing the Danny Tanner stuff. And he was like,
all right, you know, like people like it and I
like it, and it's you know, makes people happy. I
(16:28):
guess that's who I am too. And you know, he
had a lot of It's like he was half Danny
Tanner and then half his Entourage character.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
He was like both yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And
how long were you guys together?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
We were together six years but married like three and
a half four years.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah yeah. And so you created this podcast which has
been on for how.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Long now, just since like November is when we pushed it,
so it's still pretty new.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Was this sort of inspired by grief and how to
cope and using sort of food as well. I mean,
is that sort of.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Know you're dead on? Uh, you know, I never really
lost anyone in my life, and going through what I
went through with Bob, which was such a massive, massive
thing that not only did I lose my husband, so
that was incredibly traumatic and incredibly intense and so big,
(17:30):
but it was also done on this huge scale. Because
I mean, I'm sure you realize that when when Bob
passed away, like the amount of outpouring of love that
he received was kind of unlike anything like it was.
It was this strange, wonderful thing that is still going on,
and it's not it's not ending. I mean, people are
(17:52):
still just talking about Bob and all the Bob love
is still so present.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
And so.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Because I all so we had to deal with it
so publicly, I was kind of looked to is this,
you know, young widow who has something to say about this?
And I was like, well, I don't really know what
the hell I'm doing because I've never done this before.
There's no guidebook, especially not how to do it publicly.
(18:19):
But what I can do is talk to a lot
of great people who have also gone through this, and
I just realized that the conversations around grief are not
super comfortable, and they're not very present, and people don't
have them very often. They're still like a little taboo,
(18:40):
And I just thought, how can I make this more palatable?
No pun intended.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Why do you think it's taboo? I mean, do you
think it's Do you think it's taboo? Because everyone grieves differently,
you know, I mean there's no one way to do
it obviously, right, So it's personal thing.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I guess maybe not taboo in the sense of, you know,
like of off color, off limits, but more taboo in
the sense of people are so scared to make other
people uncomfortable. And like, let's say, you know, you lost
somebody in your life. Somebody might be scared to bring
(19:21):
it up to you because they don't want to make
you feel bad, they don't want to make you sad.
What if you're not thinking about it and then they
bring it up and now it ruined your day. It's like, well,
somebody who's grieving once again, is you? You were very
right and saying everyone grieves differently, but for the most part,
people do want to talk about it, and people do
want to talk about their loved ones, Like I love
talking about Bob. I talk about him all the time.
(19:43):
So if ever somebody brings him up, I'm like, great,
I'd love to talk about him.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
But did you have to get to that point though,
you know, because no, no, okay, yeah no.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
For me, I also didn't have a choice because of
the public nature of it, where I mean, yes, I
could have retreated and I could have said like no,
no, no interviews, not talking about this, But that just to me,
that was not honoring him properly because I know how
Bob was, and he was so open about grief and loss,
(20:13):
and he always talked about you know, he lost both
of his sisters, he lost his parents, he lost so
many people, and he was the guy who helped people
through it. And I just knew that I couldn't retreat
from it because it would be doing a disservice to
his legacy because it was the guy that helped people
of this. And so I'm like, all right, I'm no expert.
(20:34):
I've only lost one person. It was a massive loss,
but how can I use this to help other people?
And then the food aspect, like all right, if we're
going to have these potentially difficult sad, uncomfortable conversations, how
can I make it more palatable? Like no pun intended
by having my guests favorite comfort food.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Mm hmm, it's a fun idea. I like that, thank you,
And that's fun. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
And I mean, you know, because of a lot of
my work that I've done in the past has revolved
around food. So how can I integrate that and that
and make it a part of.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
It so that I'm a very specific person as far
as details go, you know, because you know, really when
you learn about someone, it's not in the sort of
casual conversation. It's it's sort of what's underneath and how
people deal with certain situations, you know, especially with something
(21:28):
like this, because I think we all have. You know,
there's a fascination, a morbid fascination. Obviously more death is morbidity,
but like how you would react to these things? And
you know, your parents get older, and there's people around
you who you are immensely in love with, and you know,
(21:49):
you see these things at Saint Jude and these kids
with cancer, and you can't help but project or catastrophize
about sort of how would I do this? How would
I handle this. I don't know if I could, like
am I going to be? Would I be able to
survive something like this? So when that happened, you know,
so suddenly for you, like how how do you react?
(22:11):
How do you deal? How do you how do you
take that in to process that? Or is it just
totally surreal In the beginning, It's like when you get
the fucking phone call, I just like, yeah, you know,
I mean, how does that? How does that go down?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
That was surreal because as you brought up a good
point about catastrophizing, that's something unfortunately that I've done my
whole life is I always think something horrible is going
to happen, And ever since a kid, I was a kid,
I would always think, you know, I think it started
(22:48):
I saw I was a little girl and I saw
in the news like a little girl lost her whole
family in a car accident one time, And so ever
since then, I'm always like, my whole family's going to
get killed in a car accident. And I would think
these horrible things all the time, and then you almost
play it out in your head like whoa, what would
my life be like? What would I do if that
actually happened? To me, but you know, chances are it's
(23:09):
not going to happen. And then I remember with Bob,
he would always tell me, he's like, you worry too much.
You worry too much, You're going to give yourself a disease,
Like you have to stop worrying. And you know, whenever
I couldn't get a hold of him, I would be think,
you know, the worst bad thoughts.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, I mean I have my wife has that too,
big time. I have it a little bit, she has
a big time.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Yeah yeah, And he would just beg me to stop
because you know, he's like, this is so bad for you.
And the irony is that the day he passed, it
like that horrible, horrific day was the first time that,
(23:52):
you know, when I couldn't get ahold of him in
the beginning, it was the first time I told myself, Nope, Kelly,
everything's going to be fine. This is fine. You know,
I'm sure there's like there's always an explanation. There's always
a reason why the phone is off or his phone
wasn't off, but like why they're not answering or whatever.
And I truly did calm myself down. I was like, Kelly,
(24:18):
come on, what are the odds something bad happened. He's fine,
don't freak yourself out. And then it got to the
point where I clearly was, you know, it was legitimate
to be freaked out, because it just kept progressing and
getting worse and worse, where like we knew something bad happened.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Like hours in the day, it meaning hours and hours,
like what the fuck's going on?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Like right, I mean it was the whole thing was
like a two three hour process where I knew he
was supposed to be at the airport and I could
track his phone, and his phone was at the hotel
and he wasn't answering, and then we were calling the
hotel room in that and he wasn't answering there. And
then I was like, maybe he was just really sleeping
hard because he was exhausted from his tour. And I
(24:59):
was like, possible he just didn't set an alarm and overslept,
and you know, so I was rationalizing, trying to think
not the worst case scenario, and then it got to
the point where it was getting too ridiculous. I was like,
Bob's the most reliable person ever. He's never missed a flight,
he's never been late, like this doesn't make sense. And
then you know, the hotel's like we're going to do
(25:20):
a wellness check. The door's locked, we have to break
the door down, you know, like that type of stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Fuck.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, it was so where I was like, Okay, this
isn't my life. I was like, this can't end that way.
This has to end like everything's going to be okay,
Like I can't. Like it was too surreal, as as
you mentioned. And then you know, it was, as I said,
like a two hour process where like they weren't telling
me anything and they're like, you know, paramedics are here.
(25:51):
And then I was like, okay, maybe maybe he had
a heart attack, but he's going to be fine.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
M hm. So you didn't they didn't tell you anything.
You're just you're just hearing, oh, the paramedics here, all right.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I had a friend at my house who was helping
me like communicate because you know, I was frantic, and
I'm and I'm also the link in the chain to
Bob's ex wife and his daughters, so I'm you know,
getting a little info from the hotel and then I'm
calling them and telling them what I heard and calling
my family and we're all like in contact. At this
point we were like, all right, something obviously is going on.
(26:24):
But then finally it was like two hours plus later
when they had to get a security guard on the phone.
It wasn't even like what not a real person, but
I mean it was it wasn't a detective or an
invest I mean it was like a hotel security guard
that told me that unfortunately he passed away. And I
(26:44):
remember I just like completely lost it, like I was
not even human, and I was like, this is not real,
this is not real. But somehow, even through that, I
was somehow able to to like after I laid on
the floor for a while and like you know, it
was like an animal. Then I remember having I was like,
(27:09):
I have to I have to do this. I have
to I've got to talk to people. People are going
to be coming to the house, like I have to
somehow be functioning enough to deal with this. I can't
fall apart. And then it's weird when fifteen minutes later
it's on TMZ and then it's you.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Know, yeah, well then then all the and then I.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Was like, Okay, this is weird, this is not like
how that At that point it hit me, I was
like Okay, this isn't what people normally have to deal with, right.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
You know, right, I mean that's just that's yeah. And
then again and I remember all the rumors and ship
and you know, all that and sort of you get
to deal with that.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Well, that was very upsetting for our family because and
it was not fair to him to have.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
You know, isn't it amazing the machine that just kicks
into gear where something is just formulated and created out
of fucking thin air? You know, It's like, where are
you even getting this shit from? It's just it was
(28:18):
just purely it's just created. You know.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Well, I mean I very specifically remember, you know, because
when it was released what had happened to him that
he fell and it was this very intense fall that
you know, created a very dramatic injury. But I remember
it was I mean, hey, I'll throw this out there.
I've never said this publicly before, but I remember it
(28:41):
was Sanjay Gupdan CNN. He came on. He was like,
this doesn't seem like just consistent with a fall in
a hotel room. This looks like this happened, or this happened,
or this happened. And he named like several things that
were like super dramatic that were obviously proven to not
be accurate, and that's what started I remember very specifically
(29:04):
him just speculating, just trying to get on the news
and speculators what started all of these rumors. So to
this day, I'm yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
J fan with that. So yeah, yeah, now, I know,
I know it's hard because they try to fill airspace
speculation this and that, but they do have some sort
of responsibility, you know, and at the same time because
when it.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Causes pain for the family because now we have to,
you know, do everything to protect Bob's privacy and dignity
and respect like that's you know, it's just very irresponsible
how some people handle it.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Do you think humans? And I'm asking you because you've
experienced it, but and I've always wondered this, if something
happens that kicks into gear that is unknown in our
sort of everyday, normal, daily life to when a tragedy
like this happens that you don't or one doesn't just
(30:07):
completely fall apart and become dysfunctional and that's the end
of it. I mean, is there something that switches where
you're like, Okay, I have to handle shit and I
can grieve later. I can cry later, I can do
all that, but I have to fucking get into gear
and handle shit right now.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yeah, and it kind of I know you touched on
this a minute ago and I didn't totally answer, but
you're totally right that that's what happens. Because if you
would have asked me prior to this, like how would
you reactive? Right it's been just suddenly died, Yeah, I
would have been like I would have been inconsolable. I
would have been have zero human function and I would
(30:48):
not be okay. And something kicked in even that day,
which is really strange. And I'll tell you something else
said I don't think I've ever said, is that I
had just gotten over COVID, Like that was the first
day that I tested negative and I wasn't super sick,
but I had this horrific sore throat that was so
(31:10):
bad that I could I mean, I was in tears
for days because it hurt so bad. And I remember
that morning I was texting Bob over and over and
over again, like my throat is still hurting, like something
is wrong. This doesn't make sense. I'm in so much pain,
Like what do we do? And he wasn't answering. So
that's what triggered me, you know, trying to find out
why he wasn't answering. But somehow, it was literally like
(31:36):
within five minutes of finding out what had happened to him,
as I said, like I couldn't for days, I was
in so much pain that instant, my sore throat just
went away. It just went away, where like all the
sickness like was just gone. And it was almost like
my brain was like, Okay, we're giving you a little
(31:58):
bit of extra strength now and we're going to take
away this pain because the emotional pain is going to
be enough, so at least you have no physical pain
right now. And it was really strange, and it like
I just kind of kicked into gear where I was like,
all right, I've got shit to do, yeah, and I
have to rise to the occasion for his girls and
for him, and I don't have a choice to just retreat.
(32:23):
And I'm sure that's different for some people, Like I
couldn't even imagine people like let's say somebody losing a
child or something. That's that's a thing where if somebody
is going to retreat and go into a hole like
that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
You know, what about faith? Where are you? I mean,
do you have Are you a religious person? You know?
Because I'm not. I mean candidly, I don't believe in
God necessarily as sort of an entity in the sky.
You know. I think I believe, I believe in spirituality.
I believe in faith. You know what I'm saying, because
(32:59):
faith is to me a big word. It's broad. I
could have faith in this, Yetti, I could have so
much faith in this. YETI that it can bring me
comfort during pain. You know that I can rely on
this if I just have faith in it, that this
is the next level right here. You know. So I
believe in that, and it does bring comfort, and it
(33:21):
does bring some sort of I guess, well, who knows
if it's a real answer, but it gives you some
kind of an answer. Oh it's okay, I'll see him again,
or I'll see her again, or you know, this is
God's plan. That's my own shit.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
But are you Yeah, my faith was incredibly helpful. I
am Christian, so that was something that was truly helpful
for me, and it was not. It's interesting because usually
in times of deep distress is when a lot of
times people can lose their faith or be you know,
(34:00):
question it more. And to me it it never wavered
in the sense of and what you said is you know,
being religious or not. I mean, religion is a it's
a totally different story. And to me, religion is like
you're follow you're pious, and you're following a set of rules.
(34:23):
That's not how IM like, I'm not religious in that aspect.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
For me.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
It's more of just a relationship. So I feel like
I have that relationship with God. I remember God. It
was like not even a week after my sister, the
one who's here with me now, she uh stayed like
slept in my bed with me for like a month straight,
and I remember she said to me, because she's very like,
(34:51):
I'm not great at expressing my faith and talking about
all of it. Like if somebody is really inquisitive, I
can have a great discussion about it, But for the
most part, I'm not. You know, like for instance, my
friend Candace, you know, like she's candas cameraon, like she's
like super open about it. Yeah, she's like she's so
(35:13):
confident in expressing that to people, and I'm not as
if somebody is open to having a discussion, great but
like my sister is like a canvas, okay. And so
she was sitting in bed with me one day and
she's like, you know, I just really want to make
sure that this isn't you know, uh, you know, taking
(35:35):
away from or hurting your your your faith in God.
And I was like, and it's strange. All I said
was I go No, I said, Actually not at all,
I said, because I said, I exist, I'm here. If
I exist and I'm here, I know that there's something.
And if I know that there's something, ultimately, I know
(35:58):
that this is going to be used for good. And
it was just kind of up to me in that
moment to be like, all right, how can this be
used for good? And I think especially with Bob, the
immense gratitude I had for that I had him for
the six years, and you know, his girls and his
(36:19):
friends will say that those last six years were the
happiest of his life. And you know, even though he
was sixty five, yes, we wanted him to be ninety
five or one hundred and five. He thought he was
going to be one hundred and twenty five. He's always
like I'm going to outlive you. I'm like, you're not
going to be one hundred and twenty, and he's like, yes,
(36:41):
I am. Anyway, the fact that he still had sixty
five years where he truly made a difference and changed
the world and made it a better place and left
this incredible legacy made me so grateful for that. And
even though we wished we would have had more time
with him, it's like he did so much and that
(37:03):
sixty five years, like what more could you really ask for?
Like he raised three incredible daughters, He made a difference,
he found love, he you know, had this special life.
So I was just so grateful for that that that's
what I ended up focusing on versus this isn't fair?
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Why me? And how long did it? Did it take
you a minute to get there or was it a meet?
Pretty immediate?
Speaker 2 (37:27):
It was pretty immediate, you know, like that first week
or two was uh, pretty difficult. Actually, I just did
a Instagram video about this where I had a guest
on my podcast recently who talked about right when she
had lost her dad and she had a couple other
(37:49):
traumatic things happened to her that she completely went into
this zone and like didn't drink, didn't you know where
normally you think that you're going to lose somebody, You're
gonna like, I'm gonna numb myself. I'm going to need
to do all, you know, all the substances. And that's
kind of what happened to me. Like I would have thought, Oh,
(38:10):
I'm gonna I'm going to go down to spiral, Yeah,
and I didn't. Like I I was scared of putting
anything in my body because I needed to stay super
clear and super alert. And I knew. I was like,
this is big. I have a lot to do, Like
I have to give his eulogy, Like I can't you know,
(38:31):
be messed up during that, Like I have possible exactly.
And so I think except for let's say that first
week or two where I was in surreal mode, immediately
after that, I was, especially once we found out what
happened to him, because there was all this weird limbo
(38:52):
for the first few weeks or we're like did he
have a heart attack? Did he have a stroke?
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Like what happened?
Speaker 2 (38:57):
And then when we found out what it was, as
in a sense, like a heart attack maybe would have
been a little easier because it's not an accident, I know,
you know, when we're like, oh, it's this freak accident,
but we're like, it happened, there's nothing we can do
about it. Yeah, And once we at least had the finality,
then it was a little easier to move on and
(39:20):
be like, Okay, now let's deal with it.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
From that day on, I was just so grateful and.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
That grieving process, you know, obviously it's ongoing and probably forever.
I mean, life changes forever when someone you love dies
suddenly like that. Not to say you can't move on, obviously,
that's a very important part of life, you know, is
sort of processing and moving on, and especially with someone
(39:46):
like Bob, who would want you to have a full,
beautiful life and not have this situation if he is
looking down put you in a hole to where you're
eighty five years old, and you know, I have done nothing.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
You know, I don't know, Oliver, I don't know. See
my jokes always I was separating. I have to separate
earthly Bob from heavenly Bob. You know, Earthly Bob would
be like if you ever moved on, like, how dare you?
Speaker 1 (40:18):
How could you?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
You know, because he was always like, you know, very
protective in that aspect. And then but then like his
his daughter's. You know, when when it came to the conversation,
you know, a while after about like me even potentially
thinking about dating, they were very supportive about it, and
they're like, he would want you to be happy, and
(40:40):
I was like really, and they're like, yes, of course
he would. And hearing it from them made me accept
that because for a while I was only picturing of
like the Bob that I knew, and form would be
like not that but.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Like jealous Bob or like hey if I go, you're fucking.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Oh yeah, because we already talked about it, we never
had that conversation of like what would happen?
Speaker 1 (41:06):
So, yeah, that's funny. Did that play on your mind though,
of like how he would feel or think about you
potentially moving on even though you're young and have so
much life ahead of you. I mean, does that play
in tear?
Speaker 2 (41:21):
I truly for a while pictured him being like how
could you even think about it? And then, you know,
as I said, when I had some of his best
friends sit me down and be like, all right, you
need to start thinking about this, I was like, really, yes,
that's what he would want, and I was like, are
you sure? And then when his girls said it. I
(41:42):
was like, okay, okay, he'd be okay with it. And
then it's funny and everyone agrees with me that with
my boyfriend. Now we all say that, like he's truly
the only person that we feel like Bob would actually
be okay with. They liked each other, they had this
mutual respect, and you know, we're like, all right, he
(42:05):
wouldn't love it, but he'd be like, all right, I'm
okay with this.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And how did that all come about?
You know what I mean? First of all, did you
were you did you have the conversation with the girls
and you know a lot of Bob's friends. Was this
before Brecon came into your life or was this sort
of like it was like, look, you've done your thing.
I think it's time you sort of get out there
and move move forward, not on, but kind of move forward.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah, we had had that conversation, and you know, a
couple of conversations, like a little over a year after
Bob passed, and then it was not for a good
six months after that that. I mean, Breck and I
we met before. But one of his best friends is
one of Bob's best friends and so it was like
a reconnection through like mutual friends. So it felt very
(42:52):
comfortable because he wasn't like a stranger you know that
you just randomly meet or something like that. So there
was this initial sense of like comfort mutual friends.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
How are you able to be like, hmm, okay, I'm
feeling something. Do I fucking act on this? Oh? My god?
Like what do I do? And I've known Breck and
I haven't seen him in a long time, but I've
known him and he's such a sweet human being. So
obviously his empathy or his compassion, you know, for something
like this and handling it, you know, I mean, how
(43:34):
does one go about that? And they even speak to
the broader idea too, because you know of someone who
has lost someone who then needs to is finding someone
else and how that happens, and the guilt and the
acceptance in all of those things.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
And to be honest, this is another topic that I'm
just so fascinated by because number one, it's something I
never thought about. I had never been through this myself,
and now that I've gone through it, you meet all
these other people who are going through similar situations. I'm like,
this is you know, a big topic to kind of
(44:12):
dive into because it does affect a lot of people,
and for me, it was really important, you know, when
I even would potentially think about, like one day in
the future, if I'm dating somebody, I'm like, they're going
to have to understand that Bob is never going anywhere,
like he's always like I mean, even if you look
around my house, like I have pictures of Bob. I have,
(44:34):
you know, his last poster ever from the night before
he passed away that he signed, you know, Bob Saget.
I mean, it's all over and I'm like, anyone I'm
with is just going to have to understand that I'm
always going to be, you know, talking about him, and
you know, whether it's podcasts or interviews or whatever, it is,
like he's always going to be a part of my
(44:55):
life and his girls are always a part of my life.
And they'd have to be confident enough and comfortable enough
with that. And you know, I've said before that I've
I've got very lucky and that you know, finding someone
who is super confident and super just understanding and empathetic
(45:19):
when it comes to all of that and asks questions,
you know, like what was Bob's favorite TV show, like
what did Bob like to eat? Like, Oh, did Bob
like this movie? You know, And so Bob's always a
part of the conversation, and it's it's just been really
nice to know that I can be myself with it
(45:39):
and always have a place for Bob and it's never
an issue with him, or it's never uncomfortable for him.
And I mean there have been times where I've been like, hey,
just making sure, like kind of checking in, like this
is cool, right that we talk about Bob or then
he's always like course, yeah, yeah, yeah, if it's ever
a problem, I'll let you know. But it's not. You
(46:00):
know that it's just not a thing. He's just super
understanding about it also.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
And then coming and then sort of you know, I know,
you've probably got a lot of positive feedback, and then
a lot of people who are like, how could you write?
I mean, that's just the world we live in. And
then and then when do you decide to sort of say,
you know what, fuck it, like this is my life. Yeah,
here we go.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
I think because from day one I had just this
overwhelming avalanche of support from so many people, people who
I knew, people who I didn't know. I was pretty
confident that ultimately everything was going to be very supportive now,
(46:47):
and because I knew that I did things in a
very respectful way. You know, yes, if this was if
he had passed away and then two months later dating
somebody like I would expect some backlash, but this was,
you know, a year and a half, two years later,
it was very respectful. I had the blessing of all
(47:07):
of his family and friends, and I just knew that
I was doing things properly. And because I knew in
my heart that what I was doing was okay, ultimately,
I didn't really care. All I cared about was like
Bob's girls, and if they were okay with it, then
I was okay with it. And if anyone, if some
(47:28):
stupid troll on Instagram said something negative, like I don't care,
but even with you know, news of me actually like
dating somebody came out like once again, ninety nine point
nine nine nine nine nine percent positive. Anyone that said
anything negative were those stupid internet trolls that I just
don't care about. But since everyone has something to say,
(47:53):
even you know, those few little chirpy trolls that sneak
in there, into the conversation, I still felt it was
important to address that because some people aren't maybe as
fortunate as I where they get negative feedback even from
their family or from their friends. Like maybe they start
(48:14):
dating somebody six months after and they're going to have
people say negative things. And the whole point is nobody
can judge. It is not anyone's place to judge someone
who lost their partner because no matter what, like no
one knows exactly what that relationship was, and you could
(48:35):
have loved that person more than anything in your entire life,
and then when they're gone, like you don't know what
is down the road for you. So you know, people
don't judge a man sometimes when six months later he's
remarried already, you know. But for a woman it's a
little different.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
You know.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
There's you know, people say like they expect you know,
like I'm Sicilian. You know I had like my Sicilian
grandma when I when my grandpa died, like she wore
black for like years, you know.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
What I mean.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
It's like like my my hometown in Sicily looks it's
literally right next to Quota Leone. So it's like you
picture the Godfather. Yeah, yeah, So I had this image
in my mind. I'm like, am I supposed to be
that old Italian lady wearing black like forever?
Speaker 1 (49:20):
You know?
Speaker 2 (49:21):
And that's sometimes the image people have, and yeah, that's
I just wanted to address that. Whether you find somebody
two months after or twenty years after, yep, everyone's on
their own time schedule, and nobody can really judge because
through it you don't understand.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
I couldn't agree with you more. I think that the
you know, the judgment on something like this, it's an impossibility,
because how are you supposed to step into someone's shoes?
I mean, you know, so even how Howard Stearn's like
I'm obsessed, like he's I fucking love him? Right, But
he did?
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Did you hear he made me as a sound bit?
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Of course? This is what I'm saying. This is what
I'm saying, like, oh I've heard. I listened every episode,
like I heard the thing and then and he made
you the thing was It's like it was like it
was like may but you should feel honored, honestly, like
I know it might have been crazy, but he's just
what's great about him is he's just going through his
(50:22):
own insecurity sort of about Beth and like, if this
was Beth and he was in heaven and heard that,
he'd be like, what the fuck. But you know, how
did you take that?
Speaker 2 (50:31):
The joke about that? See, I I know Bob loved
Howard Reckon love toward yeah, and so I've never you know,
I hear I would see clips here and there online
and throughout life, but I was never an avid listener.
And then somebody told me about this. I was like,
what They're like, oh, he talked about you for like
ten minutes today, ye like four different times, and now
(50:53):
it's like they use my maybe as a he oh
my god. And it was so embarrassed, and you know,
I listened to it and I heard, you know, yes,
you're right, it was because of his own insecurity, is
like if I die, better never move on. She better
just live in an attic forever. But the joke was,
(51:14):
you know, I did this interview. I forget whether it
was like you're extra or something. The first time you know,
we ever did like went out in public together and
somebody's like, oh, is this is debut here? And I
was like maybe, like that's where it came from. And
I'm like, of course the one time. My voice is
the most annoying it's ever really is when Howard Stern
(51:38):
clips it and then puts it on replay forever, and
so it's like the most annoying I've ever sounded is
now immortalized and thinks it's hilarious because, like as you said,
he's like, oh, it's it's kind of an honor. I'm like, oh,
it's so embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
Why do I have to say that? Loves Howard?
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Right, so he thinks that he thinks it's hilarious. I'm
kind of mortified.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
I think you are because now I get to know you.
You know, obviously there's a perception that comes of you
when all of a sudden, it's the SoundBite view being
like maybe it's like this is not indicative of who
you are in any way.
Speaker 2 (52:16):
Right, I'm not this little like mousey like me. That's
how it sounded, and.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
It came out of your mouth in the.
Speaker 2 (52:25):
Beginning, because my voice sounds so annoying, and I'm like,
I swear that's not how I always sound.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
When you did it in the moment, we were like,
oh Jesus, wait, did I was it? Did I just
go too high pitched? There? Did my octave go.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
I think in the moment I was so caught off
guard because I wasn't anticipating questions about that, and so
I was just being like kind of just silly, like
yeah yeah. And then when I heard it back, even
way before it went on Howard, when I saw a
clip back, I was like, oh, like, why did you
how like that?
Speaker 1 (52:58):
Never knowing you should feel on or listen to Breckon.
That's an honor, that's an honor that you are. You
are a sound drop, you on our ebscern show. It
is will you should embrace it, trust me and your
man like, this is really fascinating to me. And I
love the way that you've handled everything, and I think
(53:18):
you know, the net net of it is, it's just
important not to pass judgment on anyone who's been through
something like this and how they continue their lives and
what they do, because you don't know what it's like
until you're fucking in it, you know what I mean,
You just don't. And I'm glad that ninety nine point
nine percent is all positive because it should be. You know,
(53:41):
I do want to talk about real quick before we
get out of here. Is the Special Forces Show what
was that? Like, you know, Body Miller is a good
friend of mine, so I talked to him a little
bit about it. But was it just gnarly?
Speaker 2 (53:56):
It was gnarly. Body was also kind of Body and
Jack Osborne were like my saviors there because they had
been through I mean, Bodie's like, uh, I've been in
helicopters seventy two thousand times, and you know, I've been
in these extreme situations. And Jack had done so much
of this stuff too, So when things were getting really
dicey and very scary, I would lean on them and
(54:19):
they were just so comforting. But yeah, it was insane.
It's simultaneously the best and the worst thing I've ever
done in my life, the worst because it was.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
It was it was insane.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
It was just insane and it was and it was
no joke, like it was real, Like there was no
oh my god, you are sleeping on the military cot
with no pillows or blankets, and it's you eat when
they tell you to eat, and if you don't, it's
not like there's a vending machine and there's no craft services,
like you go hungry if you don't eat at the
(54:57):
designated meal times, like in the mess Hall, and it
was what scared me more was the sleeping situation and
that type of thing versus being thrown off of cliffs
like that I was fine with. I loved the challenges.
Speaker 1 (55:17):
That was fun for me.
Speaker 2 (55:18):
To me, it was more of the endurance stuff and
the sleeping stuff that to me was the challenge. But
it was the greatest thing I've ever done. Jack and
I would joke that if like a van just pulled
up to us right now, like an unmarked white van
was like get in, We're going back, I'd be like.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
Okay, do you regret tapping out? Because what did you
tap out on? Again? I watched the.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
Like we had to carry that Navy seal zodiac boat
like over in mind. You know I was at the time,
you know, well it was less than euro So I
was forty four, in very good shape for being forty four,
but still not Tyler Cameron shape or a Tom sand
(56:07):
of All shape who's in insane shape. And then the
other person was the Olympic gold metal speed skater whose
eyes were like tree fronks and she was a solid
muscle and she's thirty okay, so I'm like, obviously I
was the weakest link. No matter how good of shape
I was in, I was still a forty four year
old woman who was like not Tyler Cameron. Okay.
Speaker 1 (56:29):
So it was.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
The most physically abusive thing I've ever experienced in my life.
And I was on two hours of sleep a day.
This was day four. I wasn't sleeping. I was delirious.
And then they're like, Hi, carry this five hundred pounds
in an awkward way, like you couldn't no matter how
you tried, you couldn't really carry it.
Speaker 1 (56:51):
Well yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (56:54):
Then they're screaming in your ear. And then one guy's
yelling saying like Bob's looking down on you. He says
you can do it, like Bob's proud of you. And
I was like, oh fuck, Like come on, like I can't.
Speaker 1 (57:08):
Bob's up there, like just tap up, Bobs, Like.
Speaker 2 (57:11):
What are you doing torturing yourself? Go to your hotel
and have a martini and put this is exactly Bob
would be like, why are you doing this? Like the
whole time, I'm like he would have been I think
I thought I was crazy for doing in the first place,
and have been like, look, I think this is stupid,
But if you want to do it.
Speaker 1 (57:29):
Go ahead, But yeah, it was you were hurt. You
were like, I can't my leg or my legs.
Speaker 2 (57:36):
Were my knees felt like like it was like bone
on bone, and I was like, I don't want to
do permanent damage to myself, right, So yes, I was
weakened tremendously and had I maybe had been on a
little bit more sleep and not as been as delirious.
I knowing what I know now, I probably should have
(57:58):
and could have pushed myself little bit more because there
were challenges like the next day that I really wanted
to do right, Like I wanted to do the helicopter
being submerged in the water, like I wanted to do
all that I wanted to do. The fighting.
Speaker 1 (58:09):
Yeah, how how cold was that water by the way,
like freezing?
Speaker 2 (58:13):
Well that we went into was a frozen pond, Like
they had to chainsaw a whole lot. It was frozen.
So I mean, whateut thirty three degrees?
Speaker 1 (58:24):
Oh my god? What about the sas and then the
guys like when cameras cut, were they like cool?
Speaker 2 (58:31):
No, they did not break character at all, because it's
not really even a character, like that's just the lives
that they lived. So they did not break character at all.
We got zero comfort from them. We got reality from them,
Like there were times where you know, they were kind
but not friendly.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
The only issue I had with the whole thing, like,
I love watching it the physical, you know, mental aspect
and the you know, the grind. I love that stuff.
But when they like take you into the room with
the hood on and the goggles, I'm like, feels performative,
I know, but like, how do you take that seriously?
(59:26):
I mean, I'm such a jokey person, you know, and
I can commit, you know, I'm an actor. I can
commit to it. But at the same time, they do
this whole thing and you're like, all right, kind of
like what is this?
Speaker 2 (59:38):
I'm telling you. When you're there, it is so feeling
it you you're you're scared shitless. It is not because
you don't see cameras. There's no producers. There's no camera
like when you're on base, cameras on the walls.
Speaker 1 (59:54):
It's all hidden.
Speaker 2 (59:55):
You do not see there's no cameraman, there's no producers.
It is just you and the DS period end of story.
So you're in their world. And so when they're yelling
at you and they're like number fourteen, like get to
the wall and then they bring you in to interrogate you. Yeah,
there's no camp, like it's real.
Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
Scary and they're mean and that actually though when they
they didn't show my interrogation, which I was little bummed about,
but yeah, that's when when they brought me in and
you know, they're like you can do this, like we
believe that you, like you can go the distance here,
like you just have to believe in yourself. Blah blah blah.
And then one of the guys, Rudy, he brought up
(01:00:36):
Bob and he's like, I didn't know who your husband
was and and I didn't know that, you know, what
was your husband. And he's like he I loved him
so much and and like he almost started like or
he did start crying, and then I started crying. And
it was this very like human moment where I was like, oh,
they are people, you know, and it was, uh, it
(01:01:01):
was a really really special experience. It was very real.
And we're all friends now yeah now like the ds,
like we're all Instagram friends. We've had dinners and stuff.
But during filming, Oh, they do not.
Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Break yeah, oh fun. I know I couldn't. I couldn't
make it enough.
Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
If you have a chance, yeah, if the opportunity comes
up again, yeah, I mean it's it's the coolest thing
I've ever done in my life. Yeah, I mean, when
are you going to get that opportunity to never know
those things?
Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
Yeah, it's it's it's cool and all the personalities and
you know, it's definitely a fun place to be. I
mean it's gnarly, but it's fun. Last thing, do you
have you had dreams about Bob? Do you have their signs?
You know, have you had those moments where it's like
holy shit or is that you know.
Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
What that chrangely? I had never really had a dream
about him until last night. Was my first dream about
him really.
Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Yeah. Ah.
Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
I've had some dream about him where I felt like
I was at a dinner table or something and he
was there, but never like right where we didn't have
a conversation or anything. And last night was the first
time where you know, once again, dreams become fuzzy after
wake up, so I don't remember the exact context, but
I remember very specifically that he kind of came back,
(01:02:24):
so it wasn't like he was always there, you know,
like he was alive or it wasn't like it was
like we had known that he was gone, but he
came back, and I remember I was like hugging him,
like very very tight and like trying to talk to him.
I don't remember what he was saying back, but I
remember he was wearing his black robe, like his fuzzy
black like bathrobe that he would like always wear every day,
(01:02:46):
and also like you know, he'd have his cigar in
all the time. And so I remember I was like
hugging him tight and like trying to talk to him.
But then I don't totally remember what happened, but it
was a very distinct, prominent, like hug holding type.
Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
Yeah, wow, that happened. That's great.
Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
Yeah, so that was last night.
Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Thanks for being my therapist today.
Speaker 1 (01:03:13):
Anytime, anytime, and comfort food and all of your guests
today have some sort of trauma or some sort of loss. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
So, you know it started out I had a lot
of Bob's friends. I've had a lot of comedians, you know,
whether it was Jeff Ross, John Mayer, Stamos, Dave Poolier.
I actually have Candice this week.
Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
Cool actually tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
And but then just a lot of other people who
have gone through it's it's not always necessarily grief, but
something difficult, like for instance, I had Jack Osborne on
you know, he has ms, he went through a divorce, like,
so everyone has something to bring to the table in
terms of that they can contribute that can then help
other people. So they're talking about how they got through it,
(01:04:03):
but then they're also I'm asking them what was most
helpful to them and least helpful to them. So this
way people listening they know if they have a friend
going through it kind of what not to do and
what they should be doing in order to help them
most effectively.
Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
That's a great, great point. All right, Well, thanks for
being thank killing cool. Yeah. I wanted to get that
Howard Stern thing in there for sure, because you know,
obviously I'm a big fan and he uses that as
(01:04:40):
like as Fred uses that as like a drop I
don't know, very cool, very cool interview, what a strong person,
you know. I think what I got most out of
that was everyone has their own process when it comes
to lass and grief, and we're probably a little too
(01:05:01):
quick to judge on how someone might move on or
handle themselves because it's such a traumatic situation. Our bodies
go into a mode and you don't know what mode
you're going to go into until you experience it, and
hopefully no one has to experience it, but to pass
(01:05:22):
any kind of judgment on somebody, Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous
to me. And yeah, she was awesome. That was fun.
That was fun. I think I'm good at this solo stuff,
you know, I think I'm pretty good at the solo.
Just keep the flow going, baby christ All right, love y'all.
(01:05:43):
Peace album
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