The Gripe Report: Calling Movies 'Films,' The Skyway, And Hotel Smart TVs

Ahoy-hoy, and welcome to The Gripe Report, coming to you from The Land of 10,000 Lakes, Minnesota.

Although, the funny thing about that is, I haven’t seen a single lake. I was under the impression that Minnesota was absolutely stupid with lakes, but they’ve proven more elusive than the nickname suggests.

I’m spending the week in downtown Minneapolis where my girlfriend has a conference for work, and it’s been pretty cool. I even found some time to check out da Beauty League, which was just fantastic. 

One of my other favorite things has been the Skyway which has both fascinated and frustrated me.

The Skyway is a series of enclosed bridges that connects a bunch of buildings in Minneapolis so that in the winter you can get around without losing a digit like you’re in the stands for a playoff game at Arrowhead Stadium. It’s a cool system that covers something like 80 city blocks, and I’ve been fascinated by how you can weave your way through office buildings (it is a little awkward when some dude is in his office and you make eye contact while you’re hoofing it back to your room with some Chipotle) and never go outside. It’s like being on a space station.

Have a gripe? We all know you do! Send it in!: mattreigleoutkick@gmail.com

But this isn’t "The Fascination Report," It’s The Gripe Report, and here comes The Gripe: this system closes at like 7 in the evening.

Excuse me? I figured I would use it to find a bar have a couple of brewskis and get back to my hotel without being accosted by junkies out on the sidewalk. 

No dice.

The Skyway in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Very cool between the hours of 7 am and 6:30 pm. (Getty Images)

Instead, all the businesses shut down in the evening, so if you open a restaurant in some of the buildings (each sets its own hours) say goodbye to the dinner crowd.

That has frustrated me to no end because something like that should be open until at least like 9 or 10 at night.

Still, nice city.

Anyway, that’s not the only thing that’s been eating at me or some other folks on the World Wide Web, so let’s dig into some gripes, shall we?

Is calling a movie a "film" pretentious? Sometimes… (Getty Images)

Calling Movies Films

I found this gripe in the wilds of Reddit. User u/Phoebes_Dad posted this on r/complaints, and I think it hits on something that a lot of people agree with and that is that calling movies "films" is annoying:

You are so far removed from the reels of film, if they ever even existed, that was used to photograph the movie you're watching. It does not make you sound smarter, it doesn't make you sound more cultured, and it's LESS ACCURATE than moving picture aka "movie".

Also the word movie is so much fun. It's a treasure that such a slang term has lasted for a century, while others like "talkie" didn't stick.

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I’m going to cop to it before anyone says anything: I’m guilty of this, but it’s usually when I’m writing about a movie. If you use the word "movie" over and over it would be obnoxious to read, so you’ve got to break it up with some fancy synonyms, and for people like u/Phoebes_Dad (by the way, how much do you want to bet that Phoebe is a cat?) that unfortunately means that "film" is going to get some playing time.

Personally, just calling movies "films" doesn’t annoy me, but what does bug me is when people have some mind of imaginary criteria that separates a "movie" from a "film."

"Oh, that pretentious piece of art-house crap? That’s not a movie, it’s a film."

I get the argument that we don’t use film as much, but now u/Phoebes_Dad is the annoying one. I can’t stand the people who feel like they have to correct you when you say there was a camera crew out "filming" because that camera wasn’t actually using film.

That’s just the word we use. No one is going to see a shoot and go over and tap a cameraman on the shoulder to see if they’re shooting digitally, using tape, or shooting on film.

I think those folks just want to show you that they know one thing about Hollywood and it’s that. If you sit in on any film class (that’s what they’re called; not "movie classes") at any school, you’ll be surrounded by a bunch of these people, and it gets exhausting in a hurry.

Hotels need to get their act together on the smart TV front. (Getty Images)

Smart TVs In Hotels

I mentioned up top that I’m out of town and staying in a hotel, and I was reminded of something I think hotels need to get with the program about and that is smart TVs.

Hotels have always used TV as selling points. First, it was color TVs, then it was cable, then premium cable, and now, in the Year of our Lord 2024, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for smart TVs to be standard in any decent hotel.

But, alas, they are not.

"That’s because it’d be too much money to swap out all of the TVs, Matt; you boob."

Wrong.

I was at Walmart about a week ago and they had smart TVs on sale for $88. If you put a smart TV in a hotel room at that price and one person books a single night in that room because of said TV, it’s more than paid for. There’s no excuse at this point.

However, the thing that bugs me more, is when a hotel goes with the smart TV but then completely misses the ball like Bill Buckner, because that’s what I’ve got right now.

I rolled into the hotel, hoping to throw on some King of the Hill on Hulu, but the hotel unilaterally decided that only three apps are permitted: Netflix, YouTube, and Pandora.

First of all, when was the last time anyone used Pandora? Even if there was some lone holdout who hasn’t jumped ship to another streaming service, why do they need it on their TV?

Secondly, why can't I just cast what's on my phone to the TV? I know I can watch on my phone, but I hate watching things on my phone while that nice, big TV hangs on the wall, taunting me.

I know it’s a first-world problem, but it shouldn’t be a problem.

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That’s enough griping for this week. We’ll reconvene next week, but in the meantime, feel free to send in any gripes you may have: mattreigleoutkick@gmail.com