Masking (sometimes referred to as camouflaging) involves suppressing or hiding one’s behaviors or traits to appear a certain way. Emotional masking specifically refers to hiding or holding back on how one truly feels and presenting a different emotional state to the outside world.
People can hide their emotions by altering their facial expressions, body language, or words, often as a way to adapt to the situation they are in because it may not feel appropriate to show how they really feel.
Masking can be a conscious choice for many, but at times it can become an automatic reaction or an unconscious choice that the person is unaware of. Sometimes, people may mask more because they receive negative feedback when they show their authentic selves.
Masking is often associated with neurodivergence, where individuals who are autistic or have ADHD may mask their traits as a way to ‘fit in’ and appear more neurotypical. However, anyone can mask to some degree, and there are many reasons for this, which will be discussed.
What can masking look like?
Emotional masking can take several forms.
One common manifestation is the suppression of negative emotions, such as sadness, anger, or frustration. For example, someone who is having a bad day may hold back on displaying their sadness. Individuals may hide these feelings to avoid burdening others or to maintain a certain image.
Another form of masking is faking positive emotions, like smiling or appearing cheerful, even when one feels otherwise. This can be especially prevalent in customer-facing roles or social situations where positivity is expected.
Masking can also involve maintaining a neutral expression, hiding any emotional response altogether. For example, someone might keep a straight face during a challenging meeting or a difficult conversation with a loved one.
Behaviors can also be masked. For example, if someone is used to fidgeting in their chair a lot, they may mask by making a conscious effort to sit still.
Usually, these behaviors are considered masking if they do not come naturally to a person. If someone has to pretend or suppress their feelings and behaviors, this can be a form of masking.
Reasons for masking
There are various reasons why individuals may engage in masking. Here are some of the main factors that contribute to this behavior:
Societal expectations and norms
Societal expectations and norms play a significant role in shaping individuals’ emotional expressions and behaviors. In many cultures, there are unwritten rules about which emotions are acceptable to display in public settings.
For example, if someone bumps into you on the street, you may feel angry at them for not watching where they are going, but it may be more socially acceptable to brush it off, smile, and carry on walking.
Gender stereotypes can also contribute to emotional masking. Society often expects men to be stoic, strong, and emotionally reserved, while women are expected to be nurturing, empathetic, and emotionally expressive.
These stereotypes can lead individuals to mask emotions that do not align with their perceived gender roles, such as men hiding their vulnerability or women suppressing their anger.
Moreover, people who have been brought up in a household or who live with a romantic partner who responds poorly when true emotions are shown may be more likely to mask their authentic self and feelings.
Workplace requirements
In many professional settings, emotional masking is not only common but often expected as part of the job.
Certain occupations, such as customer service roles, require employees to maintain a friendly, positive, and approachable demeanor, regardless of their true feelings or the challenges they face.
For example, a call center representative may need to mask their frustration or annoyance when dealing with a difficult or irate customer, maintaining a calm and professional tone throughout the interaction. This emotional labor can be exhausting and may lead to burnout over time.
Similarly, in high-pressure work environments, such as finance, law, or healthcare, individuals may feel compelled to mask their stress, anxiety, or uncertainty to appear competent, reliable, and in control.
Showing vulnerability or admitting to struggles in these contexts may be perceived as a weakness, potentially jeopardizing one’s reputation or career prospects.
As a result, employees may go to great lengths to hide their true emotions, putting on a facade of confidence and resilience, even when they are privately grappling with significant challenges or doubts.
Mental health conditions
Mental health conditions, such as anxiety and mood disorders (e.g., depression), can significantly influence an individual’s tendency to engage in emotional masking.
People living with these conditions may feel compelled to hide their symptoms and present a facade of normalcy to avoid stigma, judgment, or rejection from others.
The fear of being perceived as “different,” “weak,” or “unstable” can be a powerful motivator for masking, as individuals may worry that revealing their struggles could lead to negative consequences in their personal and professional lives.
For example, someone with social anxiety may mask their discomfort and fear in social situations by pretending to be confident, outgoing, and engaged, even though they are experiencing intense internal distress.
Similarly, individuals with depression may mask their low mood, lack of energy, and feelings of hopelessness by putting on a cheerful and enthusiastic front, in an effort to avoid concerning others or being seen as a burden.
Neurodivergence
Neurodivergent individuals such as autistic people or those with ADHD may mask as a way to hide their traits and appear more neurotypical.
In a society that is largely geared towards neurotypical norms and expectations, neurodivergent individuals may feel pressured to mask their traits and behaviors to fit in and avoid social difficulties.
Masking can involve a wide range of strategies, such as mimicking neurotypical social cues, suppressing stimming or other self-regulating behaviors, or hiding special interests that may be seen as unusual or obsessive.
For example, an autistic person may devote significant time and energy to studying and practicing neurotypical social scripts, facial expressions, and body language, in order to navigate social situations more smoothly.
They may force themselves to make eye contact, even if it feels uncomfortable or unnatural, and resist the urge to engage in repetitive behaviors that help them regulate their emotions.
Benefits of masking
While emotional masking can serve as a coping mechanism, it is essential to recognize that it also has benefits in certain situations.
Masking can help individuals navigate social interactions more smoothly, particularly in professional or formal settings.
It can also protect one’s privacy and prevent unwanted attention or intrusive questions about personal matters.
In some cases, masking can be a form of emotional regulation, allowing individuals to manage their feelings and maintain composure in challenging situations.
So, while you may feel like you need to respond angrily to someone bumping into you on the street, it may be in your best interests to regulate that emotion for your own safety.
Likewise, it may not be in the best interests of a customer service worker to yell at a difficult customer, as they may lose their job. Sometimes masking your true emotions or finding a way to calm down is a better approach than responding in a way that can be damaging to you or someone else.
Consequences of masking
Despite its potential benefits, emotional masking can have significant consequences, particularly for individuals who are neurodivergent or struggling with mental health issues.
The constant effort to suppress or fake emotions can lead to a range of negative outcomes, affecting personal well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life.
Disconnection from authentic self and identity issues
Masking can create a sense of disconnection from one’s authentic self, leading to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and identity issues.
For neurodivergent individuals and those with mental health issues, the pressure to conform to societal norms and expectations can result in a constant suppression of their true identity. They may feel like they are living a double life, switching between their authentic self and the persona they present to the world.
This identity suppression can lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and a lack of self-acceptance. Autistic individuals may struggle to develop a strong sense of self, as they are constantly adapting to the demands of their environment, rather than embracing their unique qualities and characteristics.
Emotional exhaustion and burnout
For neurodivergent individuals, masking can be an incredibly draining and exhausting process. The constant monitoring and adjustment of behavior to fit in with neurotypical expectations can lead to burnout and fatigue.
Neurodivergent individuals may feel the need to be “on” all the time, which can take a significant toll on their mental and physical well-being.
A study found that autistic adults who engaged in high levels of masking reported feeling exhausted, isolated, and experienced poor mental and physical health as a result.
Likewise, someone who struggles with a mental health condition may find that the process of constantly masking drains them even more on top of their symptoms.
Hindered development of genuine relationships
Emotional masking can significantly impact the development of genuine relationships, as others may not have the opportunity to know the real person behind the mask.
For neurodivergent individuals and those with mental health challenges, the fear of rejection or stigma may lead them to prioritize pleasing others over expressing their authentic thoughts and feelings.
A study found that autistic adults reported engaging in people-pleasing behaviors as part of their camouflaging strategies.
This people-pleasing behavior can result in superficial connections, as the individual may agree with others even when they disagree, avoid expressing their own opinions, and prioritize others’ needs over their own.
They may struggle to form deep, meaningful relationships based on mutual understanding and acceptance. The pressure to maintain a neurotypical persona can be overwhelming, leading to a state of chronic stress and emotional depletion.
Negative impacts on mental and physical health
The prolonged suppression of emotions associated with masking can have detrimental effects on both mental and physical health.
Bottling up emotions can contribute to increased stress, anxiety, and depression, as individuals are unable to process and express their feelings in a healthy manner.
For those already struggling with mental health issues, masking can exacerbate symptoms and hinder recovery. Research has found that autistic adults who reported higher levels of masking also reported higher levels of anxiety and depression.
Should I unmask?
Unmasking involves allowing oneself to express genuine emotions and being true to one’s feelings. By embracing vulnerability and open communication, individuals can foster deeper connections with others and create a more supportive environment.
Unmasking also plays a role in challenging the stigma surrounding mental health, as it encourages people to share their experiences and seek help when needed.
Dropping the mask is not as simple as flicking a switch to turn it off. Remember, masking is a behavior that has been learned and reinforced for many years for some people. Unmasking is a gradual process and may take time and patience.
As previously said, it may not be suitable to unmask in every situation if it is safer to mask or if it may risk your employment. However, if you are neurodivergent or find yourself hiding your true emotions around friends and family, it may be worth slowly dropping the mask so you can live your most authentic life.
Here is a step-by-step guide to help start your unmasking journey:
- Reflect on your masking behaviors: Take time to identify the specific ways in which you mask, such as suppressing sad emotions, forcing eye contact, or scripting social interactions.
- Identify safe spaces and people: Start by finding supportive environments and relationships where you feel comfortable being your authentic self. It may be best to start with a trusted friend or family member.
- Set small goals: Begin by setting small, achievable goals for unmasking, such as telling a trusted friend about a bad day you are having or using your natural facial expression in a safe space.
- Reflect on what happened: After the situation, consider how it went. Did the other person respond well? Did they even pick up on your unmasking?
- Gradually increase unmasking: As you become more comfortable, gradually increase your unmasking behaviors in different settings and with more people. Remember to go at your own pace.
- Practice self-compassion: Unmasking can be emotionally challenging, so it’s important to practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself throughout the process. Celebrate your progress and recognize that setbacks are a normal part of the journey.
- Seek support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, therapists, or support groups as you navigate the unmasking process. Remember that you are not alone.
It is crucial to remember that unmasking is a personal journey and may look different for everyone. Some individuals may choose to unmask in certain settings or with specific people, while others may feel comfortable unmasking more broadly. The key is to find a balance that feels safe and authentic to the individual.
References
Bradley, L., Shaw, R., Baron-Cohen, S., & Cassidy, S. (2021). Autistic adults’ experiences of camouflaging and its perceived impact on mental health. Autism in adulthood, 3(4), 320-329. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0071
Cage, E., & Troxell-Whitman, Z. (2019). Understanding the reasons, contexts and costs of camouflaging for autistic adults. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 49(5), 1899-1911. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-018-03878-x
Cook, J., Hull, L., Crane, L., & Mandy, W. (2021). Camouflaging in autism: A systematic review. Clinical psychology review, 89, 102080. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2021.102080
