Humor

Bill Maher is not only positive it's only a matter of time before President Joe Biden withdraws from the 2024 presidential race, he knows the date it's gonna happen, and it's all because of Lindsay Lohan.

The "Real Time" host is confident because, he says, we live in a country where the media, the political parties and the public live to finish people off when they smell blood in the water.

He thinks Biden will throw in the towel on August 9 -- the same date Richard Nixon resigned his presidency.

Elton John's recent pee emergency in a French shoe store might be a troubling sign for the legendary singer ... but, the folks at a portable urinal company say they've got him covered.

Here's the streaming news Elton -- and others, we're sure -- can use ... Jeffrey Luckey is the owner of Biorelief.com, and says his company's got a bunch of options for the 77-year-old Rock and Roll Hall of Famer.

As we reported, Elton whipped out his "Rocketman" in the middle of the store in Nice, and relieved himself in a bottle.

JL says the company's all about discretion -- something Sir Elton was lacking -- and they make that possible with products he can conceal under any outfit.

Teresa Giudice's caught up in a Photoshop scandal for the ages -- her severely mocked birthday wish for Larsa Pippen -- but now, she's trying to have some fun with it.

We caught up with Teresa Tuesday at ABC Studios in NYC ... and she said the reason she so clearly superimposed herself and Larsa over a separate beach photo was simply because she didn't like the original background.

Teresa said her assistant had recently been at a beach in Mexico, so she decided to jack her scenic backdrop for the bday shoutout to Larsa. Watch the clip, what's unclear is if Teresa did the Photoshop herself ... or if she's blaming her assistant for the shoddy final edit?

President Joe Biden said the only one who could change his mind on running for re-election is The Lord Almighty ... well multiple Lords Almighty have spoken ... with the help of Jon Stewart, and the news isn't good.

"The Daily Show" host hilariously spoofed Biden's Biblical challenge with Gods of all shapes and sizes. There's the traditional God with the white beard, then there's Jesus, then Black Jesus and the most hilarious ... Ozempic Buddha!

They're message is pretty clear -- quoting from their New York Times Best Seller, The Bible -- "To everything there is a season ... turn, turn, turn."

Michael Blackson thinks Elton John had two choices while shoe shopping in France when nature called ... pee in a bottle or explode!!!

We got the comedian at LAX and our photog asked him about the French storeowner claiming Elton came into his shop and pissed in a plastic bottle in the middle of the store.

Michael says Elton must have a weak bladder at 77 years old, and this could have actually been a medical emergency ... with dire consequences if EJ didn't release his flow.

Sophie Turner's shaking off her divorce drama from Joe Jonas ... playfully using it as inspo to toast a "fresh start" in a new ad for booze.

Check out the short film ... the "GoT" star seems like she's on the prowl for a new love, telling a French bartender she's after something "different, fun, fresh." It's only near the end you realize it's all part of St-Germain's cheeky global summer campaign.

In the video, Sophie elaborates she's particular and searching for something "bright, obviously, bubbly, the type that's welcome at any party, sweet but not too sweet."

Madison Keys' fiancé found himself in a pick-le ... 'cause ESPN jumped to him at the wrong time -- and, they caught him fingertip deep in his nostril.

The American tennis star was in the third set of her round of 16 match against Italian player Jasmine Paolini Sunday when ESPN's broadcast flashed over to her coach and fiancé, Bjorn Fratangelo.

Check out the clip ... Bjorn's hanging out and chatting with a woman to his right, when he brings his fingers up to his nose and decides to drag out a bothersome boogie.

Kylie Kelce's turning a viral moment into a new wardrobe choice ... 'cause she's rocking a new t-shirt with a pic of her famous confrontation with a fan on the front.

The wife of Jason Kelce wore the top while at an event recently ... and, check out the shirt 'cause it tells you exactly how KK's feeling about her now-viral clash with an overzealous fan.

The T's got a pic of Kylie engaged in the infamous shouting match ... with the words "Standing On Business" plastered across the front -- so, clearly Kylie's sticking by her actions.

Glen "Big Baby" Davis is clearly not worried about his impending prison sentence ... the ex-NBA star was all smiles this week -- telling TMZ Sports he thinks it might actually lead him to the body of his dreams.

The former Boston Celtics power forward was ordered in May to spend 40 months behind bars for his role in a scheme that defrauded the NBA's Players' Health and Benefit Welfare Plan out of a ton of coin ... but when we caught up with him out at LAX, he made it apparent, he's not sweating things.

The 38-year-old was downright jovial, and said he's "not nervous" to be thrown in the slammer.

"Today" star Hoda Kotb had a less than desirable start to her Fourth of July ... as she suffered a pretty awkward wardrobe malfunction while on-air.

The newswoman was left scrambling when her white bra emerged from beneath her bright red dress ... and it drew all sorts of unwanted attention to her chest area. Hoda's cohost Jenna Bush Hager tried to do her a solid during the fiasco ... watch the vid, as she tried to draw attention to her grumbling stomach as HK adjusted her top.

Like the seasoned pro she is, Hoda rolled with the wardrobe malfunction and addressed the situation head-on.

David and Victoria Beckham had a blast from the past ... recreating their wedding a quarter century later by slipping into their same duds!

D&V did the unthinkable -- wearing what they wore so long ago, and truth be told ... the struggle was real for him.

The 49-year-old soccer legend sucked it in so he could show off his purple suit. It looks like some damage may have been done in the process ... seems to be a rip around the waist.

Slight hiccup for Ellen DeGeneres -- she's canceled several of her stand-up appearances shortly after kickstarting her multi-city tour.

Several upcoming shows from her "Ellen's Last Stand ... Up" tour in Dallas, San Francisco, Seattle, and Chicago have been axed -- with a notice from Ticketmaster's website reading, "Unfortunately, the Event Organizer has had to cancel your event."

Unclear exactly why the cancelation occurred ... but it goes without saying, it's a bummer for fans who were planning to attend the event at Dallas' Music Hall at Fair Park on July 10.

Haliey Welch, who is best known for being the viral "Hawk Tuah" girl, is ready to extend her 15 minutes of fame ... as she's officially landed representation.

The management firm Penthouse has come forward as Haliey's new rep, confirming to TMZ they are, in fact, working with the Internet's current obsession. United Talent Agency was originally believed to be Haliey's rep ... but, as sources with direct knowledge told TMZ, the Hollywood agency never inked a deal with Hailey.

It all worked out for the best, it seems ... as founder Jonnie Forster made it clear the company's excited to be working with Hailey -- though stayed tight-lipped about HW's first project.

Haliey Welch, who is best known as the viral "Hawk Tuah" girl, is breaking her silence since skyrocketing to fame ... addressing for the 1st time all the rumors about her personal life.

The viral sensation stopped by Brianna LaPaglia's 'Plan Bri' podcast on Monday, in which she reacted to her newfound fame and set the record straight on some lies circulating the Internet.

Check it out ... Haliey said most of the stories that have surfaced about her are not true. For instance, she was never a school teacher ... and so she was NOT fired from her job over the viral moment.

Las Vegas Aces star A'ja Wilson wasn't about to let Pride Month come and go without a big celebration ... showing love for her LGBTQ teammates by getting them a hilarious cake!!

The two-time WNBA MVP showed off the special gesture on Instagram on Sunday ... saying it's something she does every year -- but this one took the cake. Literally.

The tasty treat is decked out in rainbows, disco balls and scissors ... and features the words "Hooray you gay" in the center.