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This is my first time joining to the @aftercamlann Big Bang, and I got paired with @tansyuduri, which made me really happy, since her story was my first choice, I'm so happy with all of the pieces that I did, and I hope that you enjoy them as well. And the story of course it's amazing and you can read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58020010/chapters/147710359

(click on the imges to see them in their full size)

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Gwaine: as prince, you like, get to have everything.

Arthur: no, it doesn't.

Gwaine: ... *Sensing Arthur's mood*

Gwaine: is there like... Something you wanted that you could never have?

Arthur: ...

Arthur: it's not that I don't have it. It's... It's just within reach and as close as I can ever allow it to be. But it's... It's not - I would like it closer. I would like to hold it, to get to really know what makes it tick, I want to be held by it... You're going to make fun of me, aren't you?

Gwaine: *follows Arthur's gaze* no. I get what you mean.

*Scene cuts to Merlin feeding the horses*

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neither nimueh nor uther knew of the price for arthur's life but uther wanted him enough to risk it and ended up losing the love of his life. merlin didn't know the price for putting arthur's life over magic, but he wanted arthur to live badly enough to risk it and ended up losing him. the parallel is insane and it's always been over arthur's life. ygraine's life was the price for uther's mistake and arthur's life was the price for merlin's. uther and merlin both unknowingly condeming the people they love. I'm going insane if you haven't noticed.

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I don't know if this has been done before, but I've got a Merthur alt ending/prompt boring holes into my brain and I can't let it go. So, in DotD:

Merlin, realizing they won't make it to the lake in time, decides to try one last thing to save the king: to trade his own life for Arthur's via the power of life and death, a la Nimueh. It's a bold move, and it's unpredictable, but Merlin is both desperate and slightly ruthless when it comes to Arthur. Because he loves him.

However, since he wants to sacrifice himself, he needs a third party to work the magic. So when Morgana finds them, Merlin doesn't kill her. She's a High Priestess, like Nimueh. She could wield the magic herself. She might be the only one who can, actually, because Merlin has killed the only other two High Priestesses we know of - Nimueh and Morgause.

So he asks her to do it. He makes a convincing argument. She could be rid of him, Emrys, the bane of her existence, and they both know that he's the only thing keeping her from defeating Arthur. Once her army is rebuilt, she could return and take the kingdom for good, if she wanted. If not, she could live the rest of her life in peace, knowing she has defeated the greatest sorcerer of all time.

But Morgana is a seer. She sees that Arthur now knows about Merlin's magic and is accepting him. That Arthur is accepting Merlin, magic and all, because he loves him. That Arthur would likely, if he survived, return to Camelot and legalize magic, now that he knows. For Merlin. Because he loves him. For the first time, she looks in Arthur's eyes and believes he actually might have turned a corner, and in a wild fit of nostalgia and hope, she agrees -

But it doesn't work. The gods won't kill Emrys. It goes against the prophecy. Arthur and Merlin are to build the Golden Age together. One cannot exist without the other. They won't make the trade.

Instead, she explains, they demand something else in exchange for Arthur's life. Something that will allow them to replenish the dwindled population of magic-users without draining the earth's coffers and throwing off the balance once more. They will restore Arthur's life, but in return they will accept only one thing:

Merlin's magic.

In the end, it's not a hard decision for Merlin to make. Of course, he agrees. Of course, he would die for Arthur. He would kill for Arthur. But when he sacrifices his magic, it's something different altogether. As Morgana performs the spell, as the gods take back what they gave, as the golden magic pours out of Merlin's hands and ears and skin and trickles back into the earth to be dispersed elsewhere, Merlin gives away a part of himself he never thought could be separated. A connectivity that tied him to the ground. It's like going blind. It's like coming apart, atom by atom, and then being put back together with only half the pieces.

And Arthur watches it. He’s glad, at first. This will be easier anyway. None of them have to die today, and Arthur can keep Merlin’s secret. They can forget about the magic. They can go back to the way things were before. It might be hard, but their friendship might survive. And Arthur won’t have to protect Merlin. He’ll be safer, really.

He’ll be normal.

But then the thing happens, and Arthur watches, and he’s horrified. He's seen death. He's seen injury. But he's never seen this rending of a person from their essence, never seen the torment and pain of someone's magic being ripped from their body. He's never seen Merlin looking so gray as he does now. The golden light that he was taught to despise flickers in Merlin's eyes, like it's alive and trying to hold on, like it wants to stay, and then it's gone, and Merlin's tears aren’t rivers of gold anymore. They run tired and clear, and Merlin is a shell on the ground, fragile and hollow.

As the pain in Arthur's side begins to fade, as he takes the fullest breath he has in days and feels the vitality come back to his body, Arthur feels like he’s the monster here. Not Merlin. Not even Morgana. Him. His father. Everything he was taught to believe in.

Because he’s seen now what his father’s Purge did to his land. He’s watched Uther’s great vision for Camelot come to pass in the body of his best friend. The stripping away of magic. The destruction of this special, beautiful part of a person. 

And he’s seen what’s left. The shell. The empty gray.

Morgana disappears into a cloud of smoke. There is no place in Camelot for her now, but she has at least accomplished her goals. She's safe. She's free.

Arthur rises from the ground and picks up his sword. Merlin lies unconscious, and Arthur does the obvious: he carries him home.

Once he's back home, and Merlin is asleep in bed, and Gaius is digging out spellbooks and potions and all manner of incriminating truths, Arthur learns a few things:

  1. Merlin is still Merlin. The magic was a tool, not his personality.
  2. For those who possess it, magic functions like a sixth sense. Everything is learned and experienced through it, like any other sense. Everything. Moving through the world, seeing it, understanding it. 
  3. Merlin was never actually clumsy.

Merlin was only ‘accident-prone’ because he had to suppress his magic so often. Sometimes, he played it up for his own advantage, but sometimes he just tripped because it wasn’t natural to walk around without reaching out with magic to find the floor first.

Now he has no magic.

Merlin is crippled, physically, once he wakes. He can move his body, but he can’t figure out where to put it.

He has no magic, but he is still Merlin. He’s still prone to fibbing, overwork, and sitting up late into the night to read. Still holds onto hope when he shouldn’t. Still tries and tries. And when he gives up, Arthur tells him he needs him, and he tries some more.

Because Arthur does need him. He wants to heal the rift in his land. He wants to stitch the wounds of his people put there by Uther. He never wants to see what happened to Merlin happen to anyone else. And he wants Merlin to be there, because he trusts him. Relies on him. Loves him.

Merlin has no magic, but he used to. He knows what’s needed by the people, the Druids, the land. When he drafts the documents needed to legalize magic, Arthur asks for Merlin’s help. And Merlin gives it. Of course he does. He’s still Merlin. He’s still too ready to give himself away. Still cheeky, to Arthur’s delight. 

Still wise.

Over time, Merlin learns to use utensils again. Two crutches come next, then one. Over the years, he is able to reduce it down to a staff, which he uses to find the floor. He trains a bird to go longer distances for him, across town or even just down the many flights of stairs in the castle. His mind rewires itself, relearns, but he will never have the wrist strength to buff armor again. 

Arthur wouldn’t have had him as a servant anyway. He makes him an advisor to the king, and he sits at the round table, at Arthur’s right hand. 

He sleeps, of course, in the king’s bed.

They call it the Golden Age, because all the magic Merlin poured into the earth comes back to the kingdom in waves. You can almost see it sparkling in the air sometimes, when the light hits it just right. Harvests are full and free of blight. Orchards blossom and hang heavy with fruit. More babes are born with magic in three years than have been in the last thirty. It’s Merlin, woven into every inch of the kingdom. It’s his gift to Arthur. To Camelot. To himself.

Merlin becomes a legend in his own right, known for his far-seeing eyes, his trusty staff, his surprisingly robust beard (Arthur is astonished and openly jealous). The kingdom benefits from his kindness and his ability to judge risk vs. reward. And the dragon helps, too, occasionally. 

Above all, Merlin is known for his wisdom, his council, and his unwavering love for Arthur.

Is it sad that Merlin had to give up his magic? Yes. But he never actually wanted it to begin with. Not really. Not to the extent he had it. He never wanted the burden of the prophecy. Like Arthur and his dream of relinquishing his reign and running off with Merlin to live on a farm, Merlin wanted to set aside the burden of being Emrys and return to himself. He wanted a life surrounded by love and peace. That was why he came to Camelot in the first place. He never, not once in his life, actually wanted power. He wanted the Golden Age. He wanted Arthur.

And he gets him.

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Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17 , PART 18 , PART 19 , PART 20 , PART 21 , PART 22 , PART 23 , PART 24

[Welcome to: ✨breaking the fourth wall space✨

Knight 2 and 3: (marching around with signs that say "NO TO NAMELESS CHARACTERS" and "WE DESERVE NAMES")
Me: What on earth are you doing?
Knight 2: We are going on a strike! 😠
Knight 3: Yeah! We refuse to act until we are given names. 😠
Me: You can't do that! You are my characters!
Knight 2: Then why won't you give us a name!
Me: Cause you are also extras.
Knight 2 and 3: (Gasp and bring a hand to their chest, very offended)
Knight 3: That hurt ☹️
Knight 2: But Innprudence has a name!
Me: Yes, but it's basically a gag and he hates it.
Sir Innprudence: (In a corner, lying on the floor and looking at the sky) Is my existence a joke?
Knight 2: Well, you can start searching for a Knight 4, 5 or 6 if you want, cause we are not going to be part of this play until we are given an identity. I think it's the least we deserve.
Me: (sighs) Fine. You (points at Knight 2) will be Sir Ewan and you (point ar Knight 3) will be Sir Owain.
Sir Ewan: We have names! 😃
Sir Owain: Yay! 😄
Sir Innprudence: I hate you 😒

End of ✨Breaking the fourth wall space✨]

In "The Labyrinth of Gedref"

Arthur, Merlin and some knights hiding behind bushes while hunting.

Arthur: (calls quietly) Merlin (urges to come closer with a head gesture)
Merlin: (Comes closer and whispers) What is it?
Arthur: I don't know. We'll surround it.
Merlin: (feels the presence of the unicorn, thinking) Oh, no! (says) Got it. I'll go in there to flush it out. (makes a gesture to go)
Arthur: (stops him by the arm) Are you insane?! we don't know what it is. It could be dangerous!
Merlin: (smirks) Good think you have my back then. (frees from his grasp)
Arthur: (tries to grip his arm him again, but Merlin moves before he can and goes in there) Damn you, Merlin.
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we need to explore more morally ambiguous Merlin themes. Merlin who has no moral compass outside of Arthur, who would legitimately tear apart time and space if it meant he was okay and fuck the consequences and casualties. Merlin who’s so dangerous and such a wild card, who’s only true north is Arthur. maybe he’s a man who’s been so seared by the world that he’s lost all sense of right and wrong or maybe he’s just a bit more insane, a sharper edge, fully embracing his life as a weapon. Even better, he had a moral compass, but his love for Arthur slowly made it disintegrate until all he knew was what he had to do for his lover… anyways anyone have any links to drop

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