Texas, Oklahoma student newspapers trade editorials, barbs

Every fall, the student newspapers at the University of Texas (The Daily Texan) and the University of Oklahoma (The Oklahoma Daily) exchange editorials during the week leading up to the Red River Rivalry.

Each submits an editorial to the other; the two papers then run the two editorials, their own and their newsprint rival's, alongside each other on the same day. It's a rivalry steeped in tradition, bitterness, antipathy and ink.

Which should we excerpt first? Texas, because that's the link I opened first? Oklahoma, because OU comes before UT in the FBS alphabet? Oklahoma, because the Sooners trounced the Longhorns by 38 points in last year's Red River Rivalry?

Yes, let's begin with The Oklahoma Daily. The headline: "Hate for Texas is 'Sooner Born, Sooner Bred.'" A few excerpts:

"Dear Texas,

We hate you.

We hate burnt orange, drugged-up steers, dress-up cowboys, 'I've Been Working on the Railroad' and losing to the Longhorns.

We hate the McCoy and Shipley brothers, Vince Young, Chris Simms, Cedric Benson and your dirty, overpriced state fair.

We. Hate. You."

That's the first five paragraphs.

The Oklahoma Daily goes on to say, "[The Longhorns are] a symbol for everything we hate about the state of Texas: The entitlement, the inflated sense of importance and self-worth, the bigger-is-better mentality and, perhaps most of all, the lack of courtesy toward others on the road."

"Texas is the Kanye West of universities. I can't think of a simpler way to put it."

The Daily Texan's editorial was kind enough to give OU fans a few suggestions for Saturday's game.

Party responsibly, it reads. "While brewskis in Oklahoma are only 3.5% ABV, here in Texas we drink grown-up beer. A few too many of those and you'll be stumbling around the West End, trying to convince a light pole that you didn't lose to Tech last year."

Enjoy the town. "Make sure to try the [State Fair of Texas'] many culinary offerings, including buffalo flapjacks, pineapple upside-down cake and even fried bubblegum, or, as you call it in Oklahoma, "'bubblegum.'"

Remember to get to the stadium on time. "Kick-off is going to be about two hours after you pick up your cousin from the county jail, about an hour before you quit your Sudoku (because who doesn't love Sudoku?) and somewhere between the third and fourth time you blame something on Obama that day."

And one last parting shot: "We hope y'all enjoy the game. And by the way, we really applaud the OU Daily for 'going green' this year. Your dedication to the cause really speaks to your willingness to recycle all your jokes from previous years."

There's a reason for that crimson-burnt orange split you see along the 50-yard line at the Cotton Bowl. The two rivals, both 4-1, meet on Saturday at noon.