New Girl, old tricks: Fox's World Series anthem debacle

UPDATE, 6:26 p.m. ET: As it turns out, Deschanel is rooting for BOTH teams tonight, she says via Twitter. And Detroit rock legend Jack White, a Tigers fan, was on the field for batting practice this evening. Stay tuned to see if the White Stripes, Raconteurs and Dead Weather frontman is worked into tonight's proceedings.

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EARLIER:

We can't help but wonder if Zooey Deschanel cooed these words into her iPhone today:

"Siri, do I root for the Giants or the Tigers tonight?"

Deschanel, noted hipster gal, movie star and celebrity pitchwoman for the iPhone, will sing the national anthem before tonight's Game 3 .

Of course she will.

See, Deschanel is also the star of Fox's New Girl. And when the World Series arrives, any and all artistic integrity goes out the window when it comes to anthems, and Fox's cross-promotional tentacles take over.

For Game 1, it was American Idol alum Philip Phillips, who did a solid, guitar-accompanied rendition. For Game 2, it was Glee star Matthew Morrison, who again was passable, if not entirely memorable.

Following Deschanel for Game 4 in Detroit? None other than Demi Lovato, who, of course, is a judge on The X Factor.

If the series goes to a Game 5, however, the cross-promotion dies a merciful death. It will be Aretha Franklin delighting the masses with her rendition of the national anthem.

And who else but Fox could relegate the Queen of Soul to an if-necessary Game 5 scenario?

A World Series in Motown offers countless options for tasteful and unforgettable anthem tie-ins (The Four Tops were tabbed during the ALCS).

Yet, Fox guarantees slots only to those involved in its fall programming dreck.

What's more, the network seems a bit confused in lining up its talent:

• Deschanel is a noted Giants fan, yet she'll sing in Detroit, not San Francisco. Will she be compelled to wear Tigers gear? And can Siri answer that question for her?
• The network featured rocker Jack White's music -- most notably his new single, I'm Shakin' -- throughout the NLCS. You'd think they'd maybe extend the relationship through this World Series given that White is from...you guessed it, Detroit.
• It seems a crime this World Series may expire without Tony Bennett getting a turn to rock the mic. Hearing I Left My Heart in San Francisco before the past two Giants World Series was guaranteed goosebumps. And he's peerless on God Bless America. Just one reason to hope the Tigers extend this baby to six games.

Then again, maybe there's a Ben and Kate or Hotel Hell star who needs a star turn.