Tramon Williams can't be Optimus Prime because Calvin Johnson is better

Dear NFL players covering Calvin Johnson,

You are not Optimus Prime. Stop calling yourselves Optimus Prime.

Richard Sherman did it last month before his Seattle Seahawks played Megatron and the Detroit Lions. Then, Green Bay Packers cornerback Tramon Williams said it this week ahead of Sunday's matchup with Johnson.

To make matters dorkier, Sherman is now beefing with Williams over his use of the Optimus Prime nickname, because apparently Sherman ripping it off from every other corner who tried to use it over the past five years was the height of originality.

Stop it. For three reasons.

1. Calvin Johnson is better than you.

2. You're grown men fighting over a nickname of a cartoon character.

3. Worst of all, by identifying yourself solely by your perceived/delusional dominance over Calvin Johnson, you're letting another player define who you are. Be your own man, not Calvin Johnson's adversary. Larry Bird didn't call himself "Reality" when he played Magic Johnson. He just went out and tried to beat him. When you say you're Optimus Prime, it's basically a 21st century adult version of "I'm rubber, you're glue."

Sherman says holding Johnson to under 50 yards in last month's game proves his claim to Optimus Prime. Oh really? In the game your team lost?

He makes a salient point in mentioning that Megatron had 15 catches for 293 yards and two touchdowns against Williams and the Packers last year, but even that misses the point. Johnson is still a better wideout than you're a corner. "Holding" him to anything doesn't change that. When LeBron James only scores 17 points against the Charlotte Bobcats, Bismack Biyombo isn't saying he took over LeBron's throne in a bloodless coup.

The leader of the Autobots is supposed to be a worthy adversary of Megatron.

The complexities involved in being Optimus Prime are bigger than you anyway. His Wikipedia page is 26,000 words. Abraham Lincoln's is 14,000. Are you saying you're better than Abraham Lincoln?

You know who might be good enough to say they're Optimus Prime? Charles Tillman of the Chicago Bears. But he already has a nickname and it's "Peanut." Maybe Megatron has one of those really bad allergies.

So enough with the Optimus Prime. At worst, it's completely untrue. At best, it's hackneyed. But if you insist on sticking with the whole Transformers theme, think of someone else associated with the series that ran Megatron into the ground. "Michael Bay" would be a great nickname.