Donna Kauffman riffs on latest 'Dancing With the Stars'
Dancin', quick-steppin' and jivin' with the stars!
We've got sequins! We've got poorly chosen music sung badly by questionable singers! We've got spray tans on significant expanses of very bare skin! We've got Brooke Burke-MarriedName wearing sequins -- in very questionable patterns over certain body parts -- that she might have wanted to think about a little more clearly before donning! AND....we've got our always lovely and adorable Tom Bergeron!
Yes, folks, we're back in the ballroom, it's Dancing with the All Stars!
Our 12 couples are dancing two of the tougher dances, the two dances that separate the dedicated from the merely disillusioned, the two that make us think Pam Anderson is at home right now, thanking her lucky stars she got voted off last week, and Tristan, her gorgeous Irish pro, lifting a pint of Guinness somewhere knowing that going home first just isn't all that bad after all ... yes, I'm talking about the jive and the quick step. They're fast, they're furious, they're all quick toe flicks and perfectly maintained top lines. Who can keep up? Who will stumble? Who will land in the dreaded Bottom 2? Well, let's find out, shall we?
1. Melissa & Tony/jive: Melissa hurt her ribs when she danced this during her season, so she's all ready to show what she's got. And, my God, this is the fastest jive music I've ever heard (and it's already a fast dance). Yikeys! Supercute outfits and, dang, if she doesn't keep up. I love seeing Tony getting the chance to really cut loose and show us what he can do now that he has a partner who can actually dance. I like these two a lot ... but will folks remember to vote for them by the end of the night? I hope so! As always, I'm just going to skim right on past the judges' comments in this recap (unless they're so mind boggling I simply can't refrain), but they're as perky and happy as I am, so I'm relieved we get to at least start the night with happiness all around. Scores: 8, 8, 7.5 = 23.5
One thing I am already noticing this season, on Week 2, is just how excited the pros are to receive the praise. For all everyone is talking about how strong the competition is amongst the "stars" (and it's beyond fierce with this talented bunch), we forget how much the pros have riding on this, both from a straight competition standpoint, but also amongst each other, and for their industry "street cred" -- so they're just as hungry, and nervous. I hope this doesn't translate to an injury-laden season as they all try to outdo each other, but I can't help but think this kind of competitive spirit is going to be good for us viewers!
2. Bristol & Mark/quick step: You know, for all I'm not remotely a Bristol fan, there is no doubt she's loosened up immeasurably since her last time tripping the light no-so-fantastically, so I'm glad she's been given a chance to redeem herself , given all the crap she took last time (and I was a big time crap-giver). That said ... what the hell was that? Mark choreo'd this clunky hoe-down quick step and even before the judges smack him around for breaking the very basic rules of quick step, namely that you have to stay in hold once you go there, until the end bit of cuteness ... I know it's wrong. Wrong wrong. The routine itself was just odd. I get what he was going for -- and as they say down South, bless her heart, she kept up with it and is really putting more of herself into it -- but yikeys. Aaaaaand, yep, the judges score them down. Way down. As they should have. That wasn't minor creative license there. (And I use the term "creative" very loosely.) I mean, Mark ... dude. You guys were in the Bottom 3 last week and this is what you choose to do? I really (really) am not a fan of this guy, and this is exactly why. His ego knows no bounds. Clearly. So, I'm perfectly fine with them earning a bottom-of-the-barrel score, but it still annoys the crap out of me that he'd make this choice to screw his partner over, I don't care who she is. Scores: 6, 6, 6 =18
3. Helio & Chelsie/jive: The bad taste left in my mouth is very quickly washed away with the adorably sequiny cuteness that is Helio and Chelsie. We get a glimpse of Helio treating Chelsie to a hilarious hair-raising, high-pitched-squealing trip around the Indy track, then they treat us to a pretty-in-pink, fun, fast, well-executed jive that gets the crowd going and my face a-smilin', all those awkward hoe-down visions just a bad (oh so bad) dream. He's such a charmer! The judges are equally charmed and reward them with a well-earned: 8, 7.5, 7.5 = 23.
Next up are Apolo & Karina, doing a quick step ... and I settle in for what promises to be a very entertaining, high-caliber evening. (And I'm soooo not disappointed!) Join me at my blog for all the dish on the rest of the night's dances, and very important info on how you can win some cool free stuff in the Spook-tacular Scavenger Hunt running this week over at the Romance at Random site as we celebrate the re-release of my Three Musketeers Loveswept Classics!
Donna Kauffman is a best-selling romance author. Her next release, Babycakes, comes out at the end of this month. And Random House is e-releasing her earlier Loveswept romances. Her website is DonnaKauffman.com.