'NCIS' season 12: Donna Kauffman recaps episode 10

It was the week before Christmas and all through the house, a new episode of NCIS is on the TV so … sit down, be quiet and watch it already!

Yeah. There's a reason I write novels and not poetry.

But, yes, Virginia, it's time for our Christmas episode. Last we met, it was for our Thanksgiving episode. Oh, how time crawls when we have to wait two weeks to skip a month ahead to the holiday special! I understand tonight is going to be a Very Special Episode about Gibbs' Rules, but that's all I know! I swear! Let's just watch together and find out the rest, shall we?

We open a little differently tonight. Instead of a handful of hapless individuals rarely to be seen again coming across the unfortunate remains of our Murder of the Week, we start this evening settling in with Novelist McGee, who opens the final big window on his advent calendar, switches his big screen to a crackling fire, then settles in at his trusty typewriter. Not to start a book this time, but a letter to his dad, in hopes of expressing the right words instead of all the wrong ones they seem to always end up trading.

He tells his dad he wants to talk to him about a case they handled the previous week, one that dealt with Gibbs' rules. (See?) He said it made him understand things about himself, about his father, and about the two of them. It all started with a news report last week …

We switch to one week earlier as McGee's story plays out for us. Gibbs is tending a real fire at his home while an old Western plays on TV. The movie is interrupted for the news report McGee was referring to, as a newscaster tells us that the nation's capital is experiencing a citywide shutdown of the Internet. An innocent crash due to some unforeseen technical glitch? Or a coordinated effort by a group of nefarious hackers?

McGee types … Rule No. 39: No such thing as a coincidence.

Roll opening credits, awesome theme song … and we're ON!

We're back typing as McGee talks about his father not having much respect for his son's career choice, but that he knows dear old dad does respect Gibbs as a man who lives by a set of rules. And then bing, bang, boom, with no warning, we get a Tony and Ziva flashback. And I want to think I'm over it. We've lost main characters before. I want to believe Tony is ready for a new flame and I'm looking forward to meeting her, if we haven't already. Then this happens … and yeah. Look at those two, will ya? Now I have to suffer withdrawal all over again, dang it.

They're trying to find McGee, which brings up Rule No. 3: Never be unreachable. In skids McGee, under the baleful look of Tony, Ziva, Abby and, worst of all, Gibbs. "It'll never happen again, boss." To which he gets (say it with me now), "No, McGee. It won't."

Then we're back in current case solving time as Tony and Bishop lament being called in a mere three hours prior to their holiday leave kicking in. She's in her recently dryer-warmed sweats, and Tony still has firearms strapped on from a … date? "No silent night for you," Bishop quips. "It will be now," says a somewhat rumpled (and might I say, rowr-looking) Gibbs as he enters the Special Agent Bullpen.

Bishop launches into a tech geek speech about the wicked huge reach the hackers who downed an entire city Internet must have, only to get a blank stare. So she launches into a more show-and-tell version that is oh so highly entertaining. To everyone except Gibbs. Although probably helpful to some of the home viewers as well. (Raises hand. Oh, come on! I'm not the only one. I know this because my dad is watching. Still … wipe that smug look off your face.) Gibbs wants to know what is the point of locking up the Internet, and Bishop explains it's just the calm before the storm. The storm being them messing with transportation or power grids, or it could be a targeted data breach. All the highest branches of government security are on full alert, including NCIS, as they all scramble to find out what is going on. Which prompts Tony and Bishop to drop the first wee hint about there being enough hands on deck — only to get cut off by Gibbs saying, ever so drolly, "Oh, I do hope you aren't hinting at leaving."

So much for that idea. Also? Ha! A droll Gibbs is like a little holiday treat all by itself.

We switch to Abby and her festively decorated lab as she is busily doing what an entire phalanx of super cybertrackers can't accomplish, and that's why we love her. McGee joins her as they discuss that the ringleader of the group hack is someone known as Krampus, a group responsible for all major U.S. hacks for the past three years. That's all the cybersleuths have figured out. No one has ever gotten close enough to nab him. Behold the great Abby and her vintage German holiday postcards featuring the character Krampus, a horrible-looking black devil creature who snatches up all the naughty boys and girls at Christmastime and eats them. From this came the much-watered-down version of coal in a sock. Yeah, very watered down, I'd say.

Abby has been tracking and researching all the holiday mischief the Krampus gang has wrought over the years and has found three bad guys who've had encounters with the Christmas demon. She thinks they can be the key to them figuring out what Krampus has in store this time. McGee isn't thrilled with this scenario as, being the resident geek, he knows he's going to be the one sent to talk to the three, all of whom are currently incarcerated. He's whining about them not knowing anything being as they're in prison and all, and being sent to talk to them would make it the worst Christmas ever, and she's all, "Let your Grinch heart grow." Heh. He wants her to keep it private, but oops, too late.

McGee approaches Gibbs with the whole "they're criminals, they aren't going to answer the questions we're asking" or words to that effect, and Gibbs, being Gibbs, agrees with him. But McGee's relief is short-lived when he finds out that's because the three criminals are coming to NCIS instead. Tony's idea, natch. McGee tells Tony he broke both Rule No. 1's: Never put your suspects together. And never screw over your partner. "Merry Krampus" is all a grinning Tony has to say.

We come back from commercial to McGee and his letter. He's talking about how the NCIS team is very driven by the personal moral codes instilled in each of them by their respective fathers, and how the disciplinary code of Team Gibbs is definitely influenced by their dads. He ruminates about how when he was faced with taking the parental role while dealing with the three hacker inmates, he saw shades of his own father coming through.

The three inmates are brought in together, surprising McGee, who really didn't think they'd break rule No. 1. Tony thinks, given hackers' competitive nature, they can use that to their advantage. We meet the griping three, all from episodes past, none of whom are particularly happy to be there. McGee tries to be all bossman in charge, but the hackers aren't exactly cowed into submission. Tony schools McGee to not let them intimidate him, which brings a flashback to Rule No. 10 with Gibbs getting up in Mike Frank's face, barking "MY rules!" He's referring to Rule No. 10: Never get personally involved in a case. Which leads to the flashback McGee has to the time he resigned because of the conflict he faced when putting his protection of his sister over following the rules of the team.

Back in our current case, Bishop brings the trio a "peace offering" that includes her own sweats, prompting one of the hackers to proclaim he wouldn't mind getting into her pants, to which the lone female hacker replies, "Imagine that, a horny computer geek." HA! Tony strolls in and posts a Hackers Will Be Expelled sign, a throwback to The Breakfast Club that is mostly lost on, well, pretty much everyone. They try a divide-and-conquer scheme, but the hacker trio is having none of that. They've agreed as a group that they can't be of any help, and what with being banned from all computer use for the duration of their prison stay, they are so far out of touch, they couldn't help even if they wanted to. So says two of them anyway. Kevin (you remember him from our season opener? Yeah. That annoying guy) looks like the one most likely to crack. He's also the one with the most recent online history, given he's been incarcerated only three months and isn't the strongest-willed geek in the world. However, before we can proceed, bing, bang, boom and a call from Gibbs to Tony reveals the Internet is back up and running. No storm. Back to prison, you trio of hackers, you.

Of course, we're not even halfway through the show, so we know this isn't true, but patiently, we wait for them to figure that out. Abby is on to it right away. They're running tests and find out one server farm in Anacostia is still under attack, which brings up Rule No. 36: If you think you're being played, you probably are, and No. 40: If you someone is out to get you, they are, with a flashback on the latter to the episode where Tony gets bubonic plagued and the one where the whole building goes kaboom.

Back to McGee comparing the consequences of not following the rules being akin to being sent to your room with no dinner. (Gee, McUnderstatement … just from that last flashback alone, um … not the best comparison.) He tells his dad how his mom always brought him a sandwich later, but regardless, the punishment still stung. He also reveals that it wasn't until he was an adult that he realized enforcing the rules is sometimes just as hard as following them. We flip back to Abby running in to tell Gibbs that she knows what Krampus is after — congressional e-mails. He wants to send a message to "dirty Washington." About this time our hacker trio is descending from the conference room, mocking their poor, old, government-issued computer equipment as they are, presumably, about to head back to prison, and aren't exactly unhappy at overhearing this little tidbit. Gibbs directs Bishop to take them back upstairs and tells McGee to figure out how to use them. Rule No. 5: Don't waste good. Leading McGee to think that sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between rules and punishments.

We come back to the conference room with McGee and the trio. They bicker amongst themselves as to what is likely happening with Krampus, agreeing he has the info, it's just a matter of when and how he releases it. McGee says nothing, then gets a text about a body coming back to NCIS, one assumes from the server farm, and out McGee goes, instructing the guard at the door to shoot them if they move. Best thing he's said all night.

McGee continues to ruminate with his dad, and I grow a bit bored, because, well, McGee as a narrator isn't exactly scintillating, you know? Back at the bullpen, we learn the dead body was indeed found at the server farm, hooked up outside in the snow to a utility box. McGee says that using servers to hack outside data lines is risky and unusual, but not impossible. Gibbs brings the trio down to autopsy to ID the dead hacker, prompting McGee to explain to him how hackers are largely anonymous and impersonal, so it's unlikely they'd recognize him. To which Gibbs replies, "Tim, it's about to get very personal." I love it when Gibbs has a plan. Cue Ducky, telling a grisly Krampus Christmas tale in enthusiastic Ducky fashion, all while digging around in an open chest cavity, as our three hacker stooges look on and try not to puke. The trio and Ducky toss ideas back and forth as to the possible cause of the hacker's death. One wonders if it could be like the extreme gamers reputed to have died after marathon gaming sessions? Only the time of death, as revealed by Ducky, precludes that from being the case. This sets the hackers off in a back and forth as they try to puzzle it out, are all invested and talking it over without seemingly realizing they are giving Gibbs exactly what he wants. Until one of them catches Gibbs' interested gleam and stops, snorts, and is all, "Not that we care."

Too late!

Always love it when a plan comes together. The hackers proclaim themselves the bad guys, but Ducky mentions that even Santa needed elves. Leading to Rule No. 15: Always work as a team, accompanied by various teamwork-at-their-finest and not-so-finest flashbacks that make me miss my Saturday USA Network marathons. I'll have to remedy that over the holidays.

We switch to a hallway where Abby and McGee are wrangling the trio, then Abby gets caught up asking McGee about his dad. The prognosis on the cancer isn't good, and there's a surgery scheduled, but that's as far as we get before our Girl Hacker Elf is all, "It's a Christmas miracle!" Lo and behold, she opened a storage custodial closet door to reveal a stack of new computer monitors and an invoice dated three years prior. "Your tax dollars at work." Just what I was thinking.

Bishop comes running through but can't talk due to their present company. Bringing up Rule No. 3: Don't believe what you're told. Double check. And Rule No. 8: Never take anything for granted. (Wow, so interesting to see how different the cast looked over the years with these flashbacks. Except for Gibbs. He's always so very … Gibbsian.) This leads us back to McGee and his typewriter as he thinks that Rule Nos. 3, 8, 36 and 40 are much the same, and with two No. 1's and two No. 3's, perhaps Gibbs is just making them up as he goes? Is that what parents do? Make it up as they go?

Oh, McGee. Young padawan. Poor little grasshopper. Have you learned nothing?

We're back in the bullpen as Tony reveals that Girl Hacker Elf lied about getting no computer time in prison. She had one unsupervised hour as a good-behavior reward, and Bishop already did a search to see if it was monitored. She can only read the parts that GHE entered, but that's enough to tell them that she coordinated hooking up Krampus and some of her contacts to launch the citywide attack. Bishop tells Gibbs she could lead them to Krampus, but hasn't. "Not yet," says Gibbs. Always with a plan, that guy.

We come back from commercial to McGee recapping things for his dad. OK, moving along, nothing new to see here. Back at HQ, Tony pulls one of the hackers out and puts him in an interrogation room, ostensibly because he has a call from his lawyer. Gibbs comes in and offers him a deal. Seems our hacker wants to work with contractors to use his madd skillz to keep them from being hacked and earn a pot of money doing it. Problem is, only the trusted ones get the gigs. Gibbs is offering him his recommendation. Is our Bored Money-Grubber Hacker buying it? After what they did to make him believe he was about to be murdered at Guantanamo? Mmmm. Not so much. When Gibbs decides to walk out as Money Grubber stalls, he jumps and agrees to help. His job? He's to continue being a pain in the butt and continue to flirt with GHE. Heh. He's to tell her he filched a cellphone from Bishop and then they'll track it as she makes a call to Krampus. Only a note under the door from Abby stalls the deal, and McGee and Gibbs exit stage right. Leading to Rule No. 22: Never ever bother Gibbs during an interrogation.

Abby makes it worth the rule breaking. They determine that the hacker who died at the server farm had a rare inherited disease that made him a chronic insomniac, to the point that it helped to kill him. And though he never reported the illness, his father did, leading them back to him. So the good guys are already combing through dead hacker's stuff at his personal residence, looking for direct clues to Krampus' identity. The bad news is that the info Krampus stole from that server farm is going up for grabs to the highest bidder. Which means we're back on with undercover plan with Money-Grubbing Hacker Guy flirting up GHE. Leading to a scintillating highlight reel of all the times the team has broken Rule No. 12: Never date a co-worker.

We're back in the bullpen with our trio of hackers, hands cuffed behind their backs, shadowing our special agents as they do the typing on the computer, trying to set up the undercover op on the hacker chat boards. McGee fields a call from his sister who tells him their dad has canceled his surgery, only McGee is stuck there and can't leave to go convince him otherwise. Something he relays in blistering fashion to the mocking hackers, who all go silent. Except GHE, who needs a potty break. MGHG pleads with Gibbs to do his undercover shtick with GHE in the bathroom and pass her the phone, and he's given his chance. The agents monitor the phone use from the bullpen and … up pops a video chat, showcasing the two making out in the bathroom. Apparently the money grubber was more horny than greedy, so he double-crossed and took the lip-lock action instead. Gibbs smashes the phone on the bathroom floor. Now GHE knows they are on to her, and she demands a lawyer. Leading to Rule No. 13: Never involve lawyers. "Sorry," says Horny Hacker Dude. And we get Rule No. 42: Never accept an apology from someone who just sucker-punched you.

We're back from commercial to McGee texting his sister from the conference room where he's once again the marshal over the three stooges. He tells them he's disappointed in them as he heads out, and voiceovers to his dad about how you can teach kids the rules, but you can't make them follow them, and apologizes for the times he didn't follow the rules.

We pop over to the bullpen as Bishop flaps a folder on Gibbs' desk with the photo of the guy she says is Krampus. They found him from the details they collected from the dead hacker guy's place. They've tracked him via social media, and apparently he's in Wisconsin. So it's a race against time to get to him before he sells the intel. Only McGee is going with the rule about Always Be Specific When You Lie. He thinks it's all too easy. And when agents show up in Wisconsin, Krampus will not be there and will be clued in and disappear with the intel. Gibbs tells McGee to take the file on Krampus and show GHE, get her to talk. McGee has had enough. He asks Gibbs to send someone else, because he feels, as he has always felt, that the hacker stooges are a dead end. Ruh roh. Gibbs just tells McGee, "Rule 51." McGee looks stumped, and so does Tony. Gibbs says, "I wrote it down once." And we get the flashback from that exact episode, as he's looking through things from his late wife and daughter. Rule No. 51: Sometimes you're wrong. Aw. OK, Show, you got me with that one. Sniffle!

Next shot is McGee slapping the folder in front of GHE. She remains silent. So our most newly incarcerated — Hacker Kevin — takes it up and begins reading Krampus' list of arrests and crimes, which include stalking people's ex-girlfriends and wives and posting revenge porn on them. Not exactly the high-and-mighty politically motivated guy. Horny Hacker tries to tell GHE it's all a ruse, but Kevin keeps reading, about how he also hacks into teenage girls' phones and uses embarrassing photos of them for ransom. Aha! Looking at GHE's face, I think we've discovered what Krampus has on her. If so, we don't learn this. A missed chance there! Kevin turns on her for continuing to hold out in the face of this latest batch of info, leading McGee to have the heart-to-heart, come-to-Papa lecture with GHE, who eventually folds and offers up the location of the scumbag. This allllll leads us back to McGee and his typewriter as he summarizes what he thinks the rules are all about: They guide and they protect, and oh, for the love of — I loved all the flashbacks, and the rule-oriented show. I did! I don't even mind that it was McGee shepherding us through them, but gah! Enough already. It's a little too syrupy, even for an NCIS "message" show. We end the scene with, "No matter how many rules we break and how much we screw up, there will always be someone there to save us," followed by a montage of team members valiantly saving other team members, and, oh, OK, I take it all back! I'm the Bob Cratchit of reviewers! Sniffle!

We're back at HQ with the team and our hackers up in MTAC as they watch the details of Krampus' take-down. "Nice, Tim," Gibbs tells him, before exiting. We're back with Tim getting dressed in a suit, holding the typed letter in his hand, finishing the voiceover with the reason he has been able to learn from Gibbs and his rules is because of how he was raised by his father. I'm concerned because he's wearing a suit and we know it's been a week since they solved the case, and please tell me it's not to go to his dad's funeral. But the answer to that is put off as we switch back to case time and McGee coming into the bullpen where the trio awaits transport back to prison, arguing with his dad over the phone, because, you know, the more things change, the more they stay the same. After they angrily hang up, McGee parks behind his desk and Tony's all, "Notice anything different?" They (meaning the hackers, I presume) installed all the new monitors they found in storage. McGee is instantly in Scrooge mode, all, "You touched my desk?" as Tony shuffles the trio out. Gibbs comes in and wants to know why McGee is still there. At his blank look, he tells him, "He made time for you, do the same." Which is when McGee realizes that his dad postponed his surgery so they would all have one last Christmas at home together, not in a hospital room. (I know this is all supposed to be heartening, but, while absolutely poignant, especially as we all have to know where this is headed now, it's really kind of more depressing than uplifting. Just me still being a Bob?)

Aaaaand, we finally end with McGee reading his letter out loud in front of an actual fire, and … yep, his dad in a casket. It's a well-done scene, and as he finishes the letter, you have to give it up for Special Agent Timmy. So, while it wasn't exactly the Very Special Christmas episode I'd been hoping for (I hate the sad stuff! And it's Christmas!), it's a solid performance by McGee. Kudos to you.

Now, it's time to put the Kleenex away! I refuse to let this night end on such a somber note. I'm a Hallmark Holiday Movie kind of girl that way. I can't help it. I know we won't join up again until after the holidays when the next new episode airs, there's no Gibbs rule that says you can't get a stocking stuffer even after the stockings have been unstuffed. Well, at least not in my rule book!

So jump in and enter my Swagtastic Stocking Stuffer Giveaway and extend your holiday cheer a little longer. Contest entry is simple: Drop me an e-mail to dmkauffman1@gmail.com with "I want my stocking stuffed!" in the subject line. And hey, this is a family show, so don't get cute with me. You are invited, however, to share your thoughts about this week's episode. I'm always up for more dish!

What can you win? Blueberry Cove swag from my current Bachelors of Blueberry Cove series. I know! Winners will receive either a copy of Pelican Point, along with a fabulous canvas tote, or a copy of Half Moon Harbor with a fun bookmark charm designed exclusively for the book by fab jewelry designer Joyce Taber of The Cotton Thistle, or a copy of Sandpiper Island with a sweet charm pendant, also an exclusive Cotton Thistle design.

Don't forget to check in the morning after our next new episode recap to see if you're a winner! And you can check out my blog starting Thursday, Dec. 18, to see photos of the books and the swag that's up for grabs, and get in on the other holiday giveaways I'll be putting up for grabs. I'm a romance writer. We like the happy endings.

In the meantime, have a safe and wonderful holiday season! See you in the new year for the second half of what is turning out to be one of NCIS' best seasons ever!