'You can judge me all you want': California mom's refusal to return shopping cart goes viral

A California woman's hot take on shopping cart etiquette has caused a stir online, with many chiming in to say that whether you return a cart to a designated place or abandon it in the parking says a lot about your character.  

A 17-second clip posted by Leslie Dobson has gone viral, garnering over 12 million views on TikTok and Instagram since it was first posted at the end of last week. In it, Dobson admits that she doesn’t return her shopping cart and that it's a decision to keep her family safe.

“I’m not returning my shopping cart and you can judge me all you want," she says. "I’m not getting my groceries into my car, getting my children into the car and then leaving them in the car to go return the cart."

Dobson has gotten a lot of heat since the initial post, with many writing in the comment section that parents can, in fact, return carts, even if they young children.

Dobson has made multiple videos since the viral one, offering statistics and commentary on the number of crimes, particularly against children, that occur in parking lots. In the latest video, posted Wednesday, a child-free Dobson boasts about returning a shopping cart to the front of the store.

“If it feels safe, go return your cart,” she says in another video. "If it doesn’t feel safe, trust your gut and trust your intuition. And keep you and your family safe. It's not the worth the judgment you get."

Let’s break the “shopping cart theory" down.

What is the shopping cart theory?

"The decision to return a cart is the ultimate test of moral character and a person’s capacity to be self-governing,” according to reporting by The New York Times. 

A 2017 Scientific American column exploring why people failed to return carts appears to be the earliest reference to the the topic online, which appeared to have “struck a nerve” at the time, the newspaper reported. 

It has since become something of a social phenomenon and unofficial  “litmus test” to determine whether an individual is a “good or bad member of society,” according to KnowYourMeme.

While Dobson hasn't specifically weighed in on the shopping cart theory, she said in one follow-up video that she's "so happy this conversation is happening."

And, she says in another video, "if you feel bad about it, make it up in other ways."

"Go to a store when there's no risk in broad daylight and you don’t have your kids and go pick up 10 shopping carts," she says. "I'll do it today."

Why do some people fail to return shopping carts?

There are a number of reasons why people don’t put their shopping carts back, citing physical disabilities or having children to attend to as limitations, they don't feel like it or, "it's someone else's job."

For Dobson, a psychologist and a mother of two small children, it's all about her children's safety. Much of her TikTok account is about her work, which she says has included interviewing pedophiles and how they got to their victims.

"Risk isn’t worth it and our lives are precious," she has posted in comment sections. "I have seen lives destroyed."

People are just as passionate about the topic as they were then, with many debating one another in the 2017 Scientific American article comments just like they are now in the comment section of Dobson’s video. 

Not about the shopping cart at all, it's about the 'principle'

The consensus, at least among those commenting on Dobson’s videos, is that returning a shopping cart is easy to do. And that its "not that serious," Bri Herbert wrote in the Instagram comments.

“It was never about the shopping cart. It’s about the principle," wrote @AriesArchdemon. "It’s about answering the question: Am I willing to take some time out of my day to do something nice for nothing in return?”

Another user named Carlos Castellano wrote that “small things like this is what shows character in a person."

"I am not a parent but even if it’s raining or snowing I return my cart,” he wrote.

Other users, who said they were moms themselves, wrote that they park near a cart return or bring their kids with them to return carts.

User @toysfortoks said they were able to return shopping carts despite their disability, writing: “I’m a single disabled momma. I have a placard and thus park in the handicap spots. I rely on the cart to help me walk and still walk the cart to the corral and hobble back to my car.” 

In one video, Dobson called the amount of views on her original video "insane" and indicated the comments don't necessarily reflect all of society.

"I've received probably, I don't know, 2,000 or 3,000 messages saying that people would post comments that they would not return the shopping cart because of safety," she says, adding: "But they're too scared of the attacks they’ll get on social media."

USA TODAY has reached out to Dobson for further comment.