Say what? The 7 cringiest lyrics of 2014
With 2014 coming to a close tomorrow, we're looking back on the biggest moments of the year in music. Naturally, Taylor Swift had the album of the year, while we anointed Sam Smith's Stay with Me best song. But not everyone matched their lyrical prowess, as evidenced by these lame lines:
7. Maroon 5, Animals
"I love your lies, I'll eat 'em up.
But don't deny the animal
That comes alive when I'm inside you."
Sure, Adam Levine was named sexiest man alive by People last year. That doesn't make lyrics about stalking his wife and being inside her any less creepy, and the blood-drenched video only adds to the ickiness.
6. Magic!, Rude
"Marry that girl
No matter what you say.
Marry that girl
And we'll be a family.
Why you gotta be so
Rude?"
Guys. This song spent nearly two months at No. 1 over the summer. Seriously. Let that sink in for a moment and feel the regret wash over you. Never mind the inane lyrics — this guy is way too insistent about marrying her anyway. That's a dealbreaker, ladies!
5. Paris Hilton, Come Alive
"I don’t care what they say,
This life, I’m gonna live it.
My life can get so crazy
Oh yeah, oh, oh.
Our life is so amazing
It’s like forever."
Life is "like forever?" Really, Paris? Not that we were expecting a lyrical masterpiece from the heiress-turned-DJ (remember ?), but her comeback single has all the depth of a kiddie pool, and that's being generous.
4. Avril Lavigne, Hello Kitty
"Mom's not home tonight
So we can roll around, have a pillow fight.
Like a major rager, OMFG!
Let's all slumber party
Like a fat kid on a pack of Smarties.
Someone chuck a cupcake at me!"
When Avril said
last year, we didn't think she'd take it quite so literally. Then she released this J-pop-influenced mess as her latest single in April, and we couldn't decide which was more offensive: the racially insensitive video, or the infantile lyrics.
3. Beyoncé and Jay Z, Drunk in Love
"Catch a charge I might, beat the box up like Mike
In '97 I bite, I'm Ike Turner, turn up.
Baby know I don't play. Now eat the cake, Anna Mae.
Said, 'Eat the cake, Anna Mae!' "
We've all sung this at the top of our lungs at one point or another. It's just so good, and it was seriously inescapable early this year. But there is one controversial reference that has long rubbed many of us the wrong way, in which Jay likens himself to Ike Turner, Tina Turner's famously abusive ex-husband, as Beyoncé dances behind him in the video. Probably not the best example for the first couple of music to set.
2. Nicki Minaj, Drake and Lil Wayne, Only
"My eyes are so bright, I take cover for shade.
Don't have my money? I take mothers instead.
You got the hiccups, you swallowed the truth.
Then I make you burp, boy, treat beef like sirloin."
Speaking of contentious songs, Nicki's latest single ruffled feathers this fall for employing "Nazi imagery" in its lyric video. Outrage aside, Nicki and Drake actually spit some pretty clever verses involving Clair Huxtable and chicken cutlets. Unfortunately, Wayne shows up at the tail end of the track to deliver some uninspired, nonsensical rhymes. Seriously, what is he even talking about here? Forget about sirloin, this verse is a total turkey. (Warning: Video is NSFW.)
1. Robin Thicke, Love Can Grow Back
Finally, the King of Cringe himself. No album made us feel more uncomfortable than Paula, Robin's desperate plea to win back his estranged wife this year. (Spoiler alert: It didn't work.) And frankly, we're not surprised! Here are the opening lines of his awkwardly titled Love Can Grow Back:
"Oh, you're way too young to dance like that
In front of a man like me baby.
Oh, yes you are.
You know cigarettes are bad for you baby.
So am I."
Ew. But maybe the rest of the song is so beautifully written and heartfelt that we can ignore the nasty start?
"Shine your rainbow of hope
And hot pot of gold on my body, baby.
Show me our love can grow back."
Nope, still gross. We have no idea what he means by a "hot pot of gold," but we're in no rush to find out.