'Chambers' review: Why is Uma Thurman in Netflix's subpar teen horror series?

There are no secrets in these "Chambers."

Everything in Netflix's new teen horror series (Friday, ★ out of four) is obvious.

It's obvious that something bad will happen to our protagonist, teen Sasha (Sivan Alyra Rose) when she tries to lose her virginity (because TV loves punishing girls for this). It's obvious that when she needs a heart transplant, something isn't quite right about her new heart. And it's obvious when she acts unlike herself that she's taking on the personality of her donor. And since this is so obviously a horror series, that personality is sociopathic. 

That's all there is to the series – except for the inexplicable inclusion of Uma Thurman and Tony Goldwyn ("Scandal") as the parents of Sasha's donor. It's so slight you can instantly forget that you watched it. And for a story that's supposed to elicit screams, it's a remarkably dull affair that crawls during its long episodes. The slow pace gives a potentially interesting idea the momentum and excitement of a trip to the DMV. 

Created by Leah Rachel, "Chambers" begins when Sasha, a carefree teen raised by her working-class uncle in New Mexico, tries to have sex with her boyfriend TJ (Griffin Powell-Arcand) and has a heart attack. It's the result of an undiagnosed condition that requires a transplant, and she receives the heart from Becky (Lilliya Scarlett Reid), a girl of a similar age who lived in the wealthy white suburb nearby.

Becky died mysteriously, but even more mysterious are Becky's rich, hippie parents Ben (Goldwyn) and Nancy (Thurman), who creepily invite Sasha into their lives. They pay for her to attend Becky's school and even give her Becky's car. Slowly – achingly slowly – Sasha begins to take on aspects of Becky's personality, from her dominant hand to her math prowess to her (of course) sadistic side. 

There's enough plot here to cover a low-budget horror flick that you'd expect around Halloween. Without enough story to cover 10 hour-long episodes (or even the four made available for review), "Chambers" redefines what it's like to be repetitive and boring. 

It's instantly clear that Sasha is turning into Becky, but she lingers in ignorance for far too long. She dreams she has Becky's face and kisses Becky's boyfriend. She fences expertly, just as Becky did. She hallucinates ripping off Becky's clothes. She becomes obsessed with finding out who Becky was and how Becky died. 

For most of the first few episodes, you're waiting for Sasha to wake up and realize what's happening, but not in a fun, yell-at-the-screen kind of way. It's more of an irksome, why-am-I-wasting-my-time-on-this way. 

The series hints at bigger ideas about teenagers' search for identity. The show's writers suggest that Sasha, who has no defining characteristics before her heart attack, at least gets a new direction, if a sadistic one, in adopting Becky's personality. Or perhaps Sasha is just an underdeveloped lead in her own story. (My money's on the latter). 

None of that is as confusing as the presence of Thurman and Goldwyn in roles that could be played by any actor, more cheaply. Both have limited screen time in which they mostly grieve for their daughter in their odd, free-spirit manner. Perhaps they are meant to add gravitas to the decidedly B-movie plot, but their one-note performances add nothing but befuddlement to an already perplexing series. 

"Chambers" is not the first series in this overstuffed TV era to be both unnecessary and pretentious, but it's one of the worst offenders. For a series that's all about a heart, there seems to be a distinct lack of heart put into it.