Tightrope: Starting over? Use what you've learned

• Don't look at starting over as a bad thing
• Think of yourself being in 'regenopause'
• Take the good from your previous professional life and carry it forward

Hi Gladys, My husband and I ran our own plumbing business for more than 30 years. I worked hard in the business and thought it would be able to support me in my senior years. But my husband recently died, and I have discovered that the business is almost bankrupt. I am 55, and here I am, starting all over. I have an adviser helping me through a managed bankruptcy, and a few longtime customers have agreed to hang in there with me. However, I often feel like giving up completely. Can you offer any suggestions on how to restore both my company and my spirit? -- H.C.

How you view a situation will influence how you work through it. So, don't look at starting over as a bad thing. Work on your mental attitude. The other day I was reading an interview with author and futurist Barbara Marx Hubbard, who happens to be 80-plus years old and is constantly creating new works. She said that she sees herself in "regenopause": as the body is aging the spirit is soaring. What a wonderful way to think about the process of getting older!

There are many people who find themselves starting over. Several years ago while shopping downtown I ran into a woman whom I had not seen in years. She was coming out of the county courthouse. We greeted each other and chatted briefly. Out of the blue she broke into tears and said she was depressed because after 30 years of a turbulent marriage and a subsequent painful divorce she had to file for bankruptcy. She felt that life had dealt her a hard blow and went on to say, "Here I am at this age, and I have to start my life all over. It's not fair."

I also recall the time I sold my travel company to two employees. Both women had worked for the company for more than 10 years. They invested heavily in the company both financially and emotionally. Everything was fine until 9/11 happened and the bottom fell out of the industry. They lost everything they had put into the company and were forced to figure out how to get started on a new life.

And then there is my own case. I sold the company to pursue a career of training middle and high school students in entrepreneurial skills. But my hopes were shattered as I learned that parents were not interested in paying for their kids to learn how to become entrepreneurs. I found myself in a void. I had sold my company. I had nothing to return to, and I had no idea where I was going to land.

The reason I'm sharing these stories is so you can see that many of us are faced with starting over, just when we thought we were on our way to something big. The real issue is: Where do we go to get the stuff it takes to rise above a bad situation and start all over again?

I believe we have to do two things: Mourn our losses and then celebrate the gifts that come out of the loss. Take a good, close look at the business you are reviving. Make a list of the things that have been beneficial to you from being in the business. Perhaps there are some things that you have learned and skills you have honed such as marketing, sales, inventory, customer service, accounting, hiring, etc. -- the list is endless. These are things that I call gifts or assets, and they are yours to keep for as long as you live.

Now look at what's left after you remove the gifts. Whatever is left is what you need to mourn and get beyond. There is nothing wrong with mourning your business losses. And I think that you should be complete in this. If that means crying and screaming that life is unfair, then by all means do it. Allow the past to be done, finished, over with so that you can move forward. And then celebrate -- celebrate all the wonderful gifts the previous life has given you.

There are plenty of folks who need plumbing experts. Now take these gifts along with the folks that are helping you through this situation and rebuild your business. And once you get the business back on track, branch out by doing workshops and writing booklets, and maybe even start a blog helping others to reboot their lives after a set back.

Now as for the folks in my story: I saw the divorced woman at the shopping mall recently and she was all aglow as she told me about the wonderful new man she met while on a buying trip for an antique store she opened recently.

The women who purchased the travel agency have each gone their separate ways and took the knowledge the business taught them and found success in other areas that suited them better than the travel agency.

And I am enjoying writing and speaking, consulting and advising small- to mid-sized business owners and helping them reach success.

You are entering that regenopause stage. So get busy rebuilding your life, let your spirit soar and have a good time doing it.

Gladys Edmunds' Entrepreneurial Tightrope column appears Wednesdays. As a single, teen-age mom, Gladys made money doing laundry, cooking dinners for taxi drivers and selling fire extinguishers and Bibles door-to-door. Today, Edmunds, founder of Edmunds Travel Consultants in Pittsburgh, is a private coach/consultant in business development and author ofThere's No Business Like Your Own Business, published by Viking. See an index of Edmunds' columns. Her website is www.gladysedmunds.com. You can e-mail her at gladys@gladysedmunds.com.