The do's and don'ts of working with family: How to successfully work with your relatives
I have a pal who is suddenly part of the Great Resignation, also sometimes referred to as the Big Quit.
My friend’s story is typical: He had a mid-level corporate job that was meh. He was sent home in March of 2020 and quickly grew tired of Zoom meetings. He also soon discovered that he really liked being home, working from home, spending more time with his family and making his own schedule.
Then his wife contracted COVID-19. She’s fine, but it was (another) wake-up call. Maybe that crummy job and crummy boss weren’t so vital after all.
When he was told he had to go back to the office in January, he quit.
And so now he’s all gung-ho to start a business with his wife and adult son. He’s full of sunshine and rainbows as new entrepreneurs usually are.
I didn't want to burst his bubble, but I told him what I am about to tell you: Slow down there, cowboy! Starting a business is great, but especially when starting a family business, a few cautions are in order.
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What family businesses should do
Do define roles. Family businesses work best when everyone buys into the chain of command and knows who will be doing what, who is in charge of what, and so forth. My friend’s son is going to be their tech/social media guy, and so what he says goes. There should be a clear delineation and definition of roles. Structure is your friend.
Do keep work and home life separate – to the extent that's possible. Of course, part of the fun is having a shared experience and vision. But, that said, talking shop incessantly can become a drain, and talking shop at family BBQs can be a drag.
Even worse is when problems at work don’t stay at work, and vice versa. Therefore, if you are going to be the boss, be a good one. You didn’t like it when your old boss sent you emails at night, right? Don’t be that guy. Leave work at work.
Do treat everyone equally. At some point, you will hire, or work with, non-family members. A sure way to cause problems is to treat family members better (or worse, worse!).
Do put it in writing. This is the lawyer in me coming out. You need a family plan, and it should discuss duties, compensation, ownership shares, how profits will be divided, advancement, how people can exit the business, etc. Not only does this create equal expectations, but it also will help resolve disputes down the road (because yes, there will be disputes down the road.)
What family businesses shouldn't do
Don’t avoid conflict. The great thing about working with family is that you know and trust each other. You like being together (otherwise you would never want to start a business together.) But those distinct advantages become disadvantages when work problems spill into home life or when home problems spill into work life.
Festering problems in one arena can poison the other, and both arenas are precious, so treat them that way. As such, it is extra incumbent upon the family to nip problems in the bud early, (whether that’s your style or not.)
Don’t forget to create a succession plan. How will family members advance? What will happen when mom and dad retire? Who will take over? These sorts of issues should be discussed with your attorney.
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Don’t forget to play to your strengths. We all have different skills and abilities. Use that.
Don’t forget to have fun. One of the joys of owning your own business is that you get to make the rules. You create the culture. Given that, if you create a great place to work, one that reinforces the best of your family’s values, you will end up with something that the whole clan will be proud of.