Sandy hits victims hard emotionally

• After a tragic event like Sandy, acute stress and trauma can last for weeks — or years
• Some people just feel like retreating, but they should talk things out
• Eventually, there can be a positive effect: appreciating what's really important

OCEANSIDE, N.Y. — Dayna Cohen is frustrated that it took two weeks to get her electricity restored.

She's depressed by her devastated community, which was walloped by the flood waters brought on by Superstorm Sandy.

And she's annoyed with all the red tape that she has to deal with in Sandy's aftermath. "It has been an uphill battle with insurance companies, banks, late fees on credit cards that were missed," she says. "It would be nice if companies were more helpful. They seem to have lost patience with helping people."

Hurricane Sandy is long gone, but Cohen and many of the people in hard-hit areas are still grappling emotionally with the havoc it caused. Feelings of frustration, sadness, fear and anger are common in devastated communities throughout the East Coast.

"It's draining. It's very draining," Cohen says. "The psychological effect is just awful."

Following a tragic event like the Oct. 29 storm, there can be "immediate acute signs of stress and trauma" such as increased rates of anxiety, sleep troubles, difficulty focusing at work and increased overall worry, says Lynn Schechter, a psychologist and former Oceanside resident who counseled people after the Sept. 11 attacks and Hurricane Katrina.

"You're undergoing a dramatic change in your environment, and that is something that is hard to wrap your head around," she says. "It really pulls the rug out from under you."

The distress can be short-term — or it can last for years.

A worrisome lack of control

Sandy victims have spent a month dealing with circumstances that are beyond their control. That can ratchet up anxiety, Schechter says.

"We all have that illusion that we have control over things, but it is an illusion," she says.

People in ravaged areas such as this Long Island community couldn't keep water and sewage from swamping their homes. They couldn't save their cars from corrosive saltwater. They couldn't get electricity turned back on at will.

"There is nothing I can do," Saul Wiener said from his Oceanside house earlier this month as he waited for power to return.

Wiener, his wife, Melanie, and two young daughters stayed in five places over 12 nights as they waited for electricity to return and their flooded basement to be treated for mold and bacteria. Once the more than 6 feet of water was gone, he had to throw away a bed, a TV, a computer and pictures from his and Melanie's childhood.

Tossing the photos was tough.

"That's the worst for me," Melanie says. "The other stuff can be replaced."

They try to be strong in front of Hannah, 3,and Olivia, 5 months, but they worry that the girls have picked up on their angst.

"My 5-month-old hasn't been sleeping," Melanie says. "I don't know if she feels my stress."

Theresa Richards, who lives in the Island Park area near Oceanside, is still living off a generator while she waits for a new hot water heater and furnace.

The repairs on the home her family rents will take until at least mid-January to complete.

Now, as December approaches, she's not sure how to make any sort of a holiday celebration for herself, her husband and their three children.

Her family is already dealing with the frustration, sadness and anger that came in Sandy's wake.

"And now the holidays are coming around and I don't have anywhere to set up a tree or put gifts," she says.

"How do I provide that"" she asks. "How do I fix that?"

Communication is key

During a time of such emotional chaos, storm victims may be tempted to isolate themselves, but it's vital to do the opposite, Schechter says.

High stress levels can be reduced by talking or e-mailing with others who also suffered, and by talking with friends and family elsewhere, she says.

"Support networks are really important in a time like this," she says.

She suggests professional help for anyone who feels extremely anxious or depressed.

Cohen and others have turned to an Oceanside Facebook community for practical information as well as emotional comfort. Users post links on how to remove mold and encouraging photos such as an electronic billboard that says "Stay Strong Oceanside!!"

One person shared information on a toll-free disaster distress helpline for people feeling overwhelmed.

There are small signs of optimism.

Richards says she is inspired by people who give in such a terrible time, such as local restaurant owner John Manzo, who provided free Thanksgiving meals to those in need.

"These people have such a good heart," she says. "It's a nice reminder that people do care."

When her power came back on, Cohen opened her home to those who didn't have electricity. On Thanksgiving, she had dinner for displaced friends and family. "Whoever doesn't have a place to go is more than welcome," she says.

She is down, but she is not out. "I will figure this out," she says. "I will be OK."

Psychologist Schechter's former community is reeling, but she says some people may eventually gain a valuable asset: perspective about what is important in life.

"There is the potential for them to be transformed in a positive way," she says. "It can lead people to appreciate the moment more in life, as well as their family and loved ones. The things that they took for granted before suddenly become much more dear."

In the meantime, "people need to have patience with themselves," she says. "Most of our natures are not patient. We want the electricity back on. We want our houses fixed up just as they were by the next day. But we have to keep the reality check that it is going to take time for the community to rebuild."