For the Record: One yuuuge win, one yuuuge loss

While waiting for the cheese dust to settle from last night's Wisconsin primaries, we had just one question on our minds: How many U's are in "yuuuge"? The word has entered the political lexicon thanks to both Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders, who tend to embiggen everything they talk about. According to Google, single-U has the most hits, but it doesn't seem nearly yuge enough. We're going with triple-U.

And for what it's worth, the first zero-result search was "yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge" — or y(Ux35)ge.

Cruz wins big, Trump cheesed off

Ted Cruz didn't quite shut out Donald Trump in Wisconsin yesterday, but came extremely close. Cruz's 48% was good enough to fend off Trump's 35% and John Kasich's 14%, claiming 33 of the state's 42 delegates in the winner-take-most primary. Trump walked away with at least three delegates, while John Kasich likely will wind up with zero. (It seems relevant to point out that Marco Rubio dropped out of the race three weeks and four contests ago, and still leads John Kasich by 29 delegates and about 650,000 votes.)

Trump still leads by more than 200 delegates overall, but after Wisconsin he's less likely to claim the nomination before the GOP convention. He now needs to take about 58% of the remaining delegates, which is easier than it sounds ... there are still 111 delegates remaining in winner-take-all states, and another 234 in winner-take-all congressional districts, a not-impossible task for a front-running-but-not-universally-loved candidate. Still, he was less than pleased with the outcome. His campaign called Cruz a "Trojan Horse" for the Republican party bosses in a statement issued late Tuesday. Is Cruz hollow, wooden and filled with tiny Establishment Republicans? We asked, but have yet to hear a response.

If he takes the next nine in a row, he's right back in this thing

Bernie Sanders, a guy who could use a winner-take-all primary right about now, won his seventh out of the last eight Democratic contests on Tuesday, but still trails Hillary Clinton by a wide margin, 1,775 to 1,115 (or, if you're pretending superdelegates don't exist, it's 1,302 to 1,083). How is it that a guy on that kind of hot streak is still trailing?

For starters, losing 19 of the first 24 states didn't help. And Bernie's road to victory is much more difficult in the tough-but-fair proportional allocation of delegates. For example: Cruz's 48% tally from last night was good enough to take at least 79% of the state's GOP delegates, but Sanders' 56% of the vote will win him only 59% of the Badger State's delegates. So while Sanders — like Trump — needs 58% of the remaining delegates to win, Sanders actually needs to win about 58% of the vote. He may be closing the gap in nationwide polling, but in order to overtake Hillary he may need a sudden influx of overwhelmingly white, liberal Northern states to join the Union.

Fight night

Fans wanted it, organizers wanted it, and now the main event is happening on cable TV. Hillary "Pantsuit" Clinton vs. Bernie "Rumpled Suit" Sanders will square off in Brooklyn next Thursday, live on CNN. In all likelihood, it will be the last debate of the Democratic primaries, so expect the gloves to come off (presuming they haven't already). Socialism! Wall Street! Guns! Trade partnerships! We'd put together a drinking game except we don't want readers to wind up dead.

As for who was dodging who, that's easy: Whoever your favorite candidate is was the reasonable one, and whoever you hate with a white-hot passion is the one who was dragging their feet on things. What a jerk that person is! It's amazing that they're still letting him/her stay in the race, the way s/he's been acting.

More from the campaign trail

• Four weeks after voting ends, Bernie flips two Nevada delegates. This is quite a democracy we have going here (Reno Gazette-Journal)
• If the Donald Trump insult generator ever goes down, Hillary can step in. She has every insult memorized (USA TODAY OnPolitics)
• Wisconsin robocall supports Trump. Oh, and also white nationalism (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)
• Guam: 'What the French, toast?' (Pacific Daily News)

Neither one is likely to make a huge comeback this late in the game

Last week, John Kasich said he'd consider Green Bay Packers' quarterback Aaron Rodgers as a running mate, "maybe if he had a better year, next year. We’ll see." Yesterday, Rodgers (who received write-in votes in yesterday) chimed in on his VP pick: "Kasich maybe. Depending on how the rest of his year goes."