Keeping it Together: Everything feels bad this week. Here’s a trick to make it better.

COVID numbers are rising at alarming rates, sexual harassment is back in the headlines and the latest UN report on climate change warned of a "code red for humanity." 

For lack of a more eloquent way to put it: Things feel bad.

I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling my personal stress with life, work and relationships compiled with feelings of fear and worry with so much happening in the world right now.

Parents are worried about children contracting COVID-19 while children are worried about not having a planet to live on in the future.

But, there's a way to make things at least feel a bit better.

While reporting on climate anxiety this week, I spoke to mental health professionals whose advice on combatting anxiety stuck with me: Focus on what you can control.

While you can't control what's going on in other parts of the country or world, you can control what goes on in your own home and the choices you make.

"Somebody who's stressed out in general will benefit from saying, 'OK, here are the three things I can control today, here's what I want to focus on,'" Amy Morin, psychotherapist and editor-in-chief at VeryWell Mind, told me. 

So when you're overwhelmed with emotion, try focusing on what you can do to make yourself feel better.

For me, that often means getting organized with to-do lists and schedules so I can feel more in control.

Whatever you decide to do, it's important to find ways to stay calm and cope.

The painful truth about toxic mother-in-laws

On the social media platform TikTok, the hashtag #toxicmotherinlaw has more than 130 million views. My colleague Alia E. Dastagir spoke to experts to find out why so many women have agonizing and absurd experiences with the women their husbands call "mom."

Psychologists say toxic mothers-in-law are not caricatures. They are women typically living with mental illness, many afflicted with one or more personality disorders that make it difficult for them to empathize with others or ever clearly see themselves. They appear most combative with female partners of heterosexual sons. 

"She's narcissistic and/or borderline dependent, antisocial or histrionic, or a gamut of all," said Sherrie Campbell, a clinical psychologist and author of "But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath." "They don't want love, they don't want connection. They want power."

Psychologists say mothers with these toxic tendencies are self-absorbed and self-referential. As their children age, they refuse to allow the relationship to evolve, becoming increasingly needy, intrusive and controlling. They desire consistent access to their sons regardless of age or development. When their sons enter a relationship or marry, their feeling becomes, "This is my little boy, and no one's taking him." In response, they manipulate, lie and act as though they are the victim.

To read the full article, including tips on how to cope with a toxic mother-in-law, click here.

Today's read

• Is it fair to cut someone out of your life for not getting the shot? Sara Kuburic, the millennial therapist, gives her take on vaccine breakups.
• Climate anxiety is plaguing young people: What is it? And how can you combat it? I spoke with experts to find out. 
• Planning your first camping trip this year? Don't make these rookie mistakes.
• Here's how your smartphone can guide you through changes in COVID-19 guidance

Today's pet

Meet Kimber.

"She's a 3-year-old Blue Brindle Great Dane with an affinity for slices of bread and playing with kittens," says Kylee Sexton of Jefferson City, Missouri. "She is so goofy and full of love."

Thanks for reading! Remember to please send us pet photos, coping tips and anything else to our email. 

Wishing you all the best,

Sara Moniuszko