Only the NBA embraces the dumb, fun pageantry of All-Star Games
The All-Star Game is almost always the dumbest part of any All-Star Game.
The idea of a big, invitational exhibition where only the best players in every sport can get together and square off is obviously a noble one. Once upon a time, it marked the only way you might see, say, Sandy Koufax facing Mickey Mantle in years when their clubs wouldn't face off in the World Series. In eras unlike this one, in which we have immediate access to practically every pro sports game and highlight at the tips of our fingers at all times, all-star events marked the only opportunity to see all a sport's best players on the same day.
Do you want to know the score of Sunday night's NBA All-Star Game? It was literally 178-164. 178-164!
And yet basketball, of all the major pro sports, probably best lends itself to such a contest - even a ridiculous one - because all of us yearn for mighty dunks. The players know it, and they can all just sort of sacrifice playing defense without sacrificing their pride because they recognize that the sooner they get the ball back, the sooner they'll be able to throw down spectacular alley-oops.
Certain skills competitions are now a part of every sport's all-star game, even though some sports need way more. But no league matches the NBA for the excitement of those associated all-star events, which this year included the brothers Curry facing off in the 3-point contest, the inclusion of Shaq as a prop in the dunk contest, and a thrilling demonstration of Taco Bell skills unlike any I have seen on display at any locations of the Mexican-inspired fast-food restaurant.
All-star games in 2019 should be seen as nothing more than dumb, fun pageantry in celebration of their sports, and the NBA pretty much nails it from the media day to the celebrity game to the national anthem.
The NFL's Pro Bowl is hopeless for a variety of reasons, and both it and the NHL All-Star Game seem kind of doomed to be drowned out by Super Bowl hype as long as they're scheduled for the week before the Super Bowl. The MLB equivalent of a 178-164 All-Star Game would take roughly nine hours to play and require pitchers to more or less lob the ball over the plate, and you just know - bet on it - that at least one pitcher would still get so offended by a hitter's home-run celebration to drill him with a fastball later in the season.
Baseball's version is getting better for stuff like this, and because it usually features Mike Trout doing something amazing. But no league seems to embrace the delightful stupidity of a mid-season exhibition as well as the NBA does, and only the NBA All-Star Game features an almost never-ending onslaught of awesome dunking.
Sunday's big winner: Bruce Boudreau
The Minnesota Wild coach earns our praise for narrowly avoiding an f-bomb on live television. As someone who is occasionally profane in casual conversation and also somewhat regularly on TV, I often worry that I'm going to get too comfortable in a televised baseball discussion and drop an accidental expletive. Boudreau demonstrated impressive restraint in not saying exactly what he wanted to say.
Quick hits: NASCAR, Aaron Judge, Mike Leach
- Our Michelle Martinelli went to cover an auto-racing event and wound up on a boat in the man-made lake in the middle of the Daytona 500 track. She told the story of two tire-changing female pioneers in the sport, and asked NASCAR's top drivers why the sport seems to be declining in popularity and what should be done about it. Denny Hamlin won the eventafter a 21-car wreck derailed much of the field.
- In an otherwise quiet day at Yankees camp, manager Aaron Boone teased the possibility of batting colossal slugger Aaron Judge leadoff. I have been on this, and I want badly for it to happen.
- Washington State football coach Mike Leach seems like a genuine weirdo in the most enjoyable sense. If you're bored, dig all the way through our Mike Leach archive, for bizarre gems abound.
This day in dumb sports
Can anyone even remember 2015? It was on this day in that year that we finally got a handwriting expert's take on Alex Rodriguez after the embattled star wrote an apology note to baseball fans. This was back when lots of people hated A-Rod, before he joined the broadcast booth and revealed himself as a baseball-loving oddball and before we knew he'd seem exactly as excited as anyone would to be dating Jennifer Lopez.