Pat Neshek: The two outs 'I'll remember forever'
- Pat Neshek heard words of encouragement from even Tigers fans Saturday night
- He was pitching while still mourning the death of his infant son, Gehrig
- Neshek tapped a patch with Gehrig's initials on his uniform after retiring two Tigers
DETROIT -- Pat Neshek sat in the Oakland Athletics' bullpen for six innings Saturday night, trying to focus on the playoff game, but his mind wouldn't let him.
He was wearing an Athletics uniform for the first time in a week, but this uniform was different from the previous time he donned it.
This uniform had a black patch on the sleeve bearing the initials: GJN.
They stood for his son, Gehrig John Neshek, who was born on Tuesday and died 23 hours later, with the cause of death still unknown.
"I broke down,'' Neshek said of the honorary patch, "the second they told me they were going to do that."
Still shell-shocked, and numb from grief, he took the mound in the seventh inning Saturday night, in a game the Detroit Tigers would win 3-1 at Comerica Park.
He retired the only two batters he faced, ran off the mound, patting the arm patch in honor of his son, pointing toward the heavens, and frantically scanning the stands looking for his wife, Stephanee.
"It was definitely tough down there,'' Neshek said softly, his eyes moist. "I was thinking about him the whole time.
"It sounds so cliché, but it felt like he was looking down on me, helping me.''
Neshek broke into nervous laughter, saying the last pitch he threw, a slider that struck out Austin Jackson, was the best slider he threw all season.
Neshek retreated to the dugout, and several of his teammates immediately embraced him. He took deep breaths, trying to keep from breaking down.
"You try to stay calm,'' Neshek said, "but it got the best of me there.
"I was hoping we'd win this game, but it will be a game I'll remember forever. It was the right choice, it definitely was, being here.''
Neshek didn't know whether he'd pick up another baseball the rest of this season after his wife called him last Wednesday in the fifth inning of the Athletics' season finale.
"The baby stopped breathing," she told him on the phone.
Neshek headed straight to the hospital in their hometown of Melbourne, Fla., knowing life would change forever.
"I'm not really big on when other people have babies," Neshek said. "I don't look at it as that big of a deal. But that's probably the best day I ever had.
He paused, and almost in a whisper, said: "I'd go through it all again just for that one day."
Stephanee was the one who convinced Neshek that he should return to the team. They had been sitting alone in the house, still trying to come to grips with the tragedy. They could barely move, let alone leave their home.
"We were locked up in the house," Neshek said. "You could sit there all day. I can imagine that's what hell is like.
"I don't know if we could have made it another day.''
So they decided, for their emotional well-being, it was time to return to baseball.
"My wife is a big baseball fan,'' Neshek said. "She said, "We need to get out of here and watch baseball, and that was fine with me. I wanted to be with her and I wanted to be by her to get through this.
"If nothing else, we kind of wanted to do it in my son's honor, to come back."
Neshek informed the Athletics that he wanted to return, and A's manager Bob Melvin didn't hesitate putting him on the playoff roster.
"It was actually a very easy decision,'' Melvin said "It's something he wanted to do. He wanted to get here sooner than later. He wanted to be here for his team.
"He wanted to help his team out in a very difficult time for him, and that made it pretty easy to add him to the roster.''
Neshek's teammates still cannot fathom the pain and anguish he's enduring, marveling at his strength. They are there to support him. Stephanee, sitting with her parents, was surrounded by friends in the family section at Saturday's game. Even Tigers fans were yelling encouragement, Neshek said, welcoming him back to the team.
"It's pretty special, the outpouring of support,'' Neshek said. "He was only with us a day, and it's pretty special the support we're getting from guys, other players around baseball, fans. It's really helped us.''
Said Athletics first baseman Brandon Moss: "I can't imagine what he's going through. What he's been through the last few days is something that nobody should go through. You don't want to wish that on anybody.''
There are plenty of times each day that Neshek and Stephanee will cry. There's rarely a moment they don't think about Gehrig, named after Yankees Hall of Famer Lou Gehrig, the iron man. They can only hope and pray that each day will get easier.
"My wife, what she wanted most,'' Neshek said, "was for Gehrig to see me pitch. I hope tonight I made him proud.
"You know, hopefully, one day, we can have a couple more kids.
"I would love that, because for just the one day we had him, and it was pretty awesome.''