Bell Tolls: Why Elvis wouldn't want Falcons tickets
- Falcons are the 15th team to start 8-0 since the 16-game schedule was instituted in 1978
- Nine of the previous 14 teams that started 8-0 went to the Super Bowl
- Falcons have lost 10 of their past 12 meetings with the Saints
Let's face it: the Atlanta Falcons are boring.
The quarterback, Matt Ryan, is so nice you'd introduce him to your sister.
The head coach, Mike Smith, was a lifetime assistant before he got the gig.
Ageless wonder Tony Gonzalez breaks records galore, but he is a vegan.
Even with the NFL's best set of wide receivers, Roddy White and Julio Jones, they lack a certain sizzle. I mean, their headquarters is located in a place called Flowery Branch.
Where's the controversy? Oh, running back Michael Turner got popped for speeding.
This is not a team you want to see on Hard Knocks. They have zero cult figures (Tim Tebow), no sons of Buddy Ryan to fire up the opponents' bulletin boards (Rex, Rob), no commercial star offering a double-check discount (Aaron Rodgers) and nobody with a must-see pre-game introduction (Ray Lewis).
They stopped with the Dirty Bird dancing deal when Jamal Anderson's knees gave out.
Can somebody please shoot a video or something?
Even with White acknowledging that he is hoping they can go 16-0, this is not a team poised to take our minds off the Fiscal Cliff.
The GM, Thomas Dimitroff, came from the New England Patriots. Nobody said he had to bring the Patriot Way with him.
The Falcons have committed the fewest penalties in the NFL (26) and they rarely turn the ball over. Their seven giveaways are the second-fewest in the league. How exciting.
Quick: Name two Falcons offensive linemen. Now name two defensive linemen.
Boring.
It hasn't always been this way. Shoot, when Michael Vick got exposed as a dogfighting fool, the Falcons were the talk of the NFL. When Bobby Petrino bolted in the middle of the night, major drama. Andre Rison and Deion Sanders used to play for this franchise (before Prime Time won his Super Bowl rings), when MC Hammer hung out on the sidelines.
There was a time when coach Jerry Glanville, dressed in black and left tickets for Elvis. In another era, they had a run-and-shoot offense. Now that was excitement!
No, it hasn't always been this way. The Falcons have never been 8-0. Not with Tommy Nobis in the middle, not with Steve Bartkowski flinging rainbows, not with the Grits Blitz.
Bet these Falcons, gearing up for Sunday's grudge match at the New Orleans Saints, will take having a low profile if these results continue. Boring can be so cool.
They are the 15th team to start 8-0 since the 16-game schedule was instituted in 1978, and nine of the previous 14 went to the Super Bowl.
Surely, it's a bit premature to talk Super Bowl. In the top-heavy NFC, the Bears, 49ers, Packers and even the defending champ Giants are much sexier picks. The Smith-coached Falcons haven't even won a playoff game (0-3).
At least they're in the conversation of contenders. But until they advance in January -- they were bounced as a No. 1 seed by the Packers two seasons ago -- the Falcons get little benefit of the doubt.
Besides, being the NFL's last unbeaten team does not forecast championships. Over the past dozen years, just one team, the 2006 Indianapolis Colts, won the NFL crown after being the last unbeaten. It's not how you start, but how you finish.
Still, the Falcons are not totally boring.
They play home games at the raucous Georgia Dome and keep their faithful on the edge of their seats. In hitting the halfway mark with a perfect record, they have demonstrated a flair for finishing a game.
Of the eight W's, five were decided by seven points or less. Only other two teams -- the 2006 Colts and 1990 San Francisco 49ers -- have done that during an 8-0 start.
Guess that's the calling card. Efficiency in crunchtime.
Surely, the Falcons can make a major statement against the Saints, to whom they have lost 10 of their last 12 meetings. Maybe they can win with Ryan directing another furious, last-minute scoring drive.
Unless they finish a season strong, however, ho-hum it is.
Also in play for Week 10:
► WHO'S HOT: Doug Martin. In his past two games, the Buccaneers rookie running back, aka Muscle Hamster, has produced 486 yards from scrimmage. Know how far back you'd have to go to find an NFL player who had that many yards in consecutive games? Back to 1977, with Walter Payton. Martin, drafted 31st overall from Boise State, has rocketed up the charts over the past month. He ranks second in the league with 1,039 yards from scrimmage, and is averaging 5.2 a pop with his 794 rushing yards. The Chargers, visiting Tampa on Sunday, are warned.
► PRESSURE'S ON: Demetress Bell. This week's shuffle with the Eagles' depleted offensive line results in Bell's return to the lineup as the starting left tackle. It's the spot where King Dunlap manned (or unmanned, if you will) on Monday night. Dunlap switched to right tackle (Michael Vick's blindside, have mercy) after Todd Herremans was lost for the season with bone and ligament damage in his right foot. Herremans is the fourth starter on the line to go down, following all-pro left tackle Jason Peters (Achilles), guard Danny Watkins (ankle) and center Jason Kelcie (center), which is one reason Vick has been sacked 27 times and taken an NFL-high 71 quarterback hits.
Still, there's at least some symmetry in play. When Peters left Buffalo as a free agent, Bell replaced him at left tackle for three seasons. But the really bad news is that when the Cowboys visit The Linc for a desperation game on Sunday (both teams, 3-5), Bell, a fifth-year pro, will often be matched against DeMarcus Ware, who is tied for the NFL lead with nine sacks.
► ON THE COUCH: Mark Sanchez. Remember when Sanchez left Southern Cal a year early and entered the 2009 NFL Draft? His college coach, Pete Carroll, ripped the move and declared that his national championship-winning quarterback wasn't ready for the big leagues. Sanchez quarterbacked the Jets to back-to-back AFC title games during his first two NFL seasons, but has since fallen on hard times. Now he's poised to cross paths with Carroll on Sunday at CenturyLink Field, where the Seahawks are undefeated this season and will greet Sanchez with one nasty defense.
And given a choice, Carroll would probably prefer his sensational rookie quarterback, Russell Wilson, over Sanchez about now. That's only a fresh problem for the beleaguered triggerman for the NFL's 27th-ranked offense, who hasn't been helped by a sputtering rushing attack while a constant drumbeat persists for coach Rex Ryan to replace him with the pass-deficient Tim Tebow. Besides that, Sanchez, whose 72.8 passer rating is 30th in the league, has been in the tabloids in recent weeks for a breakup with girlfriend Eva Longoria.
► ROOKIE REVUE: Blair Walsh. The Vikings kicker ranks third in the NFL in scoring with 80 points, and he's been nearly perfect in hitting all 19 PATs and 19 of 20 field-goal tries -- including 5-of-5 from 50-plus yards. Who could see such accuracy coming? Walsh missed 14 of his 35 field goal attempts as a senior last season at Georgia.
Maybe Vikings GM Rick Spielman saw it when he drafted Walsh in the sixth round. In any event, Walsh's strong leg -- which enabled him to become the first rookie in NFL history with treys of at least 50 yards in each of his first three games -- is also working on his booming kickoffs. He ranks second in the league with 35 touchbacks. Don't pin all of that on the fact that Walsh plays his home games at the Metrodome, where the Vikings host Detroit on Sunday. In 2011, Minnesota had just 19 touchbacks all season.
► KEY MATCHUP: Arian Foster vs. Bears defense. The huge Sunday night matchup at Soldier Field, pitting a pair of 7-1 teams, could hinge on the multi-dimensional Houston running back's ability to crack the code of the revived Chicago defense. Good luck. The Bears defense ranks fourth in the NFL for yards allowed (third vs. the run, 88 yards per game), but it is flat-out the league's best unit, bolstered by an NFL-high 28 takeaways. And it is dirt-tough in the red zone, with an NFL-low 36.8% touchdown rate. Foster, though, might represent the toughest test yet for the Bears. He leads the AFC with 770 rushing yards and has scored an NFL-high 11 TDs. But you know what Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs, Julius Peppers and crew are thinking: Something must give.
► NEXT MAN UP. With Darren McFadden hobbled by a high ankle sprain that continues his unfortunate streak of seasons derailed by injuries, Jones is poised to make his first NFL start at Baltimore. A fourth-round pick from Eastern Washington last year, Jones might be the fastest Raider -- which says something when considering the presence of Darrius Heyward-Bey and Jacoby Ford, receivers with world-class speed. Jones has clocked as low as 4.3 in the 40.
To this point, though, that speed hasn't been seen much on an NFL gridiron. He's carried once this season for two yards and logged just 16 carries for 73 yards as a rookie. But he may get an extended opportunity. In addition to McFadden's setback, the Raiders also lost backup running back Mike Goodwin to a high ankle sprain.
► REALITY CHECK: Last year, GM Scott Pioli fired Todd Haley as Chiefs coach after less than three seasons, but the waters have been much rougher during this 1-7 campaign with Romeo Crennel at the helm. Hello, Todd Haley? With the added bonus of returning to his hometown, Haley is finding some rhythm in his new gig as Steelers offensive coordinator. Monday night's encounter at Pittsburgh sets him up for a "Remember me?" moment.
If he doesn't already, Haley may ultimately reflect on his Kansas City departure as a blessing. And if rabid Chiefs fans have their way, Pioli's departure is coming. Still, in their second season together in Kansas City, the Bill Parcells-connected duo (Haley was mentored by the Tuna, who is Pioli's father-in-law) won the AFC West. But their relationship deteriorated in a hurry, complete with a clash of strong personalities.
► ROAD TO SUPER BOWL XLVII GOES THROUGH … New Orleans. The season is on the line (again) for the Saints, who would like nothing better than to muddy up the Falcons' perfect record. After an 0-4 start on the heels of the offseason (and still ongoing) Bountygate scandal, New Orleans has rallied to win three of its past four games. Hope remains for a mad dash for the playoffs down the stretch run -- even with that leaky defense.
But first they have to deal with the Falcons in another chapter of the most fierce rivalry in the NFC South. The Saints have won 10 of the past 12 games in the series, and one player even urinated on the Georgia Dome carpet after a game two years ago. Maybe the Dirty Birds get some revenge, the clean way. But like all teams that visit the Superdome, the Falcons have to find a way to disrupt the prolific Saints offense. Sure, do something about Drew Brees. That mission is a given.
But New Orleans struck a nice balance in Monday night's win against Philadelphia by rushing for 140 yards. Even without scatback Darren Sproles (who will miss a second game due to a broken hand), the Saints offer a headache with a three-headed monster of running backs -- Pierre Thomas, Mark Ingram and Chris Ivory -- that could represent the swing factor.
► DID YOU NOTICE? Eli Manning travels to Cincinnati to face the Bengals … a week after his big brother Peyton traveled to Cincinnati and passed for 291 yards and 3 TDs against the Bengals. There was some definite information-sharing going on this week. The Manning brothers hardly deny that. We can imagine this tip from Peyton: Keep an eye on Terence Newman. It was Newman who snagged both of Peyton's picks last weekend. In a season with the Manning brothers.