Comments on Robert Griffin III miss the point ... again

• ESPN's Rob Parker says the Redskins QB is not black enough
• Robert Griffin II had it right in ignoring comments
• Now let's have a conversation where we don't judge people

Robert Griffin II is wise to sidestep an issue that he says will not benefit anyone, least of all his son.

On Thursday, ESPN's Rob Parker in a very clumsy way continued a conversation about race and stereotypes that's long overdue. It's time to be frank about who we are and where we come from, what shapes us, what defines us.

We are not there yet.

We were not there a couple weeks ago when San Francisco's quarterback Colin Kaepernick was compared to a convict because he has body art.

We were not there in London when Gabby Douglas brought home a gold medal and Twitter exploded with ignorance about her hair.

When we are ready for the tough and difficult conversations, Robert Griffin III is someone we will need to hear from.

Because the woman he wants to marry is white and because he might be a republican, ESPN's Rob Parker determined the superstar Washington quarterback is "not really down with the cause. He's not one of us. He's kind of black, but he's not really, like, the guy you want to hang out with because he's off to something else."

Black enough. Really? We're having that old conversation?

So if he married a black woman and we knew he was a democrat, that makes him black? Shouldn't we all be beyond trying to tell anyone who to love and how to behave? Calling Griffin a cornball, as Parker did, is wrong. To quote Marvin Gaye: "make me wanna holla, throw up both my hands."

Let me get this straight, a brother who handles his business on and off the field, who earned a college degree, has national advertising campaigns and has way too many grown men walking around with his name on the backs of their jerseys can be deemed not black enough.

Parker, suspended one day after he made his comments, wasn't the first to say it and likely won't be the last.

Parker, who made his comments Thursday on First Take, comes across as a hater. Griffin III is exactly who my ancestors would want a young black man to be: successful, talented, respectful and rich. Who wouldn't want to hang out with him?

To counter the stereotype, let's not pretend that color does not matter or pretend we do not see it.

In this country, black people have been seen as a monolithic group. If one person behaved badly it reflected on all of us. Conversely if one person made it or moved on up, he or she was the exception. Newsflash -- Griffin III is not the exception. Not all black male athletes have been arrested or fail to take care of their children. That is often the image we get from newspapers, TV shows, radio, the internet. Another one that irks me is that of white coaches saving all these young men. Lazy story tellers have long gravitated to that storyline.

Navigating this whole race thing is complicated and nuanced. Griffin's parents said they raised him not to see color. That's what works for them. I feel differently. Define me as black, but do not trap me in the stereotypes of what black supposedly is. How about we open our eyes, see our differences and still celebrate each other. We must embrace color, not judge it or pigeonhole it. I am insulted when people say we should not see color. I don't want to have to live in a colorless world, just one with a lot less judgment.

But we judge quickly and often. White quarterbacks are called "smart" and black quarterbacks are described as "athletic." The stereotypes keep us from bridging the gaps. The recent uproar over NFL players and guns was not so much about the hunters and collectors as it was about the so-called "thugs." I cringe when I hear the word thug; code for "black athletes."

What we need is communication and education with each other. Sports provides us so many opportunities to learn about each other and our stories. It is still disappointing that a historic accomplishment in London came down to thousands of tweets about Douglas' hair.

Talking about hair is still very sensitive, so sensitive that Chris Rock made a movie about it. Not sure why Skip Bayless perhaps thought to give Parker an out and asked about Griffin's hair.

"Now that's different," Parker said. "To me, that's very urban and makes you feel like … wearing braids, you're a brother. You're a brother if you've got braids on."

Reach for the hair gel if you think Parker is the only one who thinks that.

Surely this is not the discussion the Griffins want people to have about their son. They want to talk about his heart, his dedication, his hard work -- all the things people talk about when they talk about Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck.

Griffin III has very impressive numbers in his rookie season. It matters not the color of the woman standing beside him nor his hairstyle or that he's made a name for himself by wearing wacky socks. He asks to be judged by his work ethic, his character.

He is wise to do that because the real conversation is not just about him, but about all of us, our ethics, our character, our rush to judge, our continued ignorance. That's the conversation we need to have.

Deborah Barrington is the assistant managing editor for desk operations at USA TODAY Sports, and she's ready for frank conversations.