David Mamet has entered the college-bribing-scandal fray, writing an open letter in support of his good friends Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy—both of whom were implicated in the F.B.I. investigation that has captivated the news cycle for the past day. (Huffman was indicted, though Macy was not.) In the letter, published by the The Hollywood Reporter, the playwright slams the college-admissions system as a whole, then touts his longtime friendships with both Huffman and Macy (all while probably ignoring furtive “not now, dad!!!” texts from Zosia Mamet).

“I’m crazy about them both,” Mamet wrote. “That a parent’s zeal for her children’s future may have overcome her better judgment for a moment is not only unfortunate, it is, I know we parents would agree, a universal phenomenon.”

He added: “If ever there were a use for the Texas Verdict, this is it. For the uninitiated, the Texas Verdict is: ‘Not Guilty, but Don’t do it Again.’”

Well, it’s probably up to the courts to determine the guilt here. Huffman is being accused of paying a $15,000 bribe to get a higher SAT score for one of her and Macy‘s daughters; representatives for Huffman had no comment when reached by Vanity Fair. Macy, who is listed in the investigation as “spouse,” has not been indicted; though the exact reason is not yet clear, there are a few potential explanations why.

In addition to Huffman and Macy, actress Lori Loughlin and her husband, Mossimo Giannulli, have also been accused of paying $500,000 to secure spots at U.S.C. for their daughters. The involvement of these actresses—just two among the 50 people who have also been implicated in the F.B.I. investigation (which was code-named “Operation Varsity Blues”)—has lent the drama a Hollywood edge. Which, naturally, has encouraged more stars to comment on the issue, spurring a round of tweets from folks like James Van Der Beek and Lena Dunham, who went the jokey route.

Van Der Beek, who starred in the 1999 coming-of-age film Varsity Blues, had an easy in to poke fun at the drama.

“If only there was a succinct turn of phrase these kids could have used to inform their parents they were not desirous of their life path...” he wrote, referencing his memorable “I don’t want . . . your laaafe,” scene.

Dunham, meanwhile, wrote that “all the people involved in this college scam should have gathered their money and started a small elite college where Lori Loughlin teaches a class on smiling.”

Though the scandal has since encouraged scores of Twitter users to humble brag about their own non-bribery-assisted college acceptances, Chrissy Teigen went another route: “thank u mother for not caring enough to get me into college.”

And, of course, Donald Trump Jr.—who attended the University of Pennsylvania around the same time his father, a Penn alum, reportedly donated over $1.4 million to the school—talked about the scandal with a completely unsurprising lack of self-awareness.

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