We knew it was coming. James is Off to War. But not quite yet, for there are cats to save! Picnics to be had! People to be frustrated with! Will the practice continue without James and Tristan there to help? Siegfried thinks so, but James says Siegfried is in denial, which sounds about right. Fortunately, Richard is there to pick up the slack. Unfortunately, Richard is obnoxious and disliked by their clientele, and he also can’t drive, a skill that is especially useful when surrounded by vast hills and valleys. Oh, also, Helen is now surprisingly pregnant. And the show is making us think Mrs. Hall is leaving, but I think it’s a trick.
I hope you all appreciate how, despite this show airing months earlier in the U.K., I assiduously avoid spoilers so that I can offer ridiculous (or correct??) hypotheses about future events. Yes, we could all look it up, but that is not fun. I genuinely thought we might escape any cow deaths this season, and then look how that turned out. But the hope was nice while it lasted.
Let’s get this out of the way up front: Mrs. Hall goes over to Gerald’s house, where the vibe is weird, like he’s about to murder her, but then he just says that his sister is sicker than he thought and he has to move. “Ah, excellent,” I said. “Gerald’s out of the way then.” Except Helen says something to Mrs. Hall about grabbing happiness while you can, and I said “UGH” because that kind of reminder always leads to people doing something rash. And there goes Mrs. Hall, telling Gerald she’ll move with him to the Lake District, a place I’ve literally only heard of as somewhere Elizabeth Bennet never gets to go. I mean, I’m sure it’s beautiful, etc., but is Jess there? Is Dash there? Is a heartwarming found family that sits together reading in front of the fire there? Get it together, Mrs. Hall; you know where you need to be. Or, honestly, Siegfried needs to get it together and realize he can’t live without Mrs. Hall, for she is integral to his daily life. What kind of a challenge is Gerald! I know I’m beating a dead horse — something particularly frowned upon in this milieu — but agh. Everyone needs to get their shit together. But for now, Mrs. Hall and Gerald are engaged. BAH.
Richard needs to learn to drive. It’s 1940, so the only option is stick shift, which sounds like a nightmare to me, a person whose only experience with it was trying to drive her dad’s station wagon five miles an hour down the middle of our street while he said, “CLUTCH, PUSH IN THE CLUTCH,” and I said, “AGGHHH.” Richard doesn’t have the luxury of deciding never to try that again because there are sheep to visit, cows to see, and pigs to inspect. He has three different chances to drive, and he finally accomplishes it with the aid of a dog.
His first attempt is with James, whose impatience I was very judgey of (you’re about to be a dad, James), but then I found out James only has two days before he leaves for the war, so he is BUSY. Very understandable. Someone else should probably be teaching Richard how to drive. Next, Siegfried takes him out! Siegfried, who says he’s known for his patience. *pauses so a tumbleweed can blow by in the ensuing silence* James tells Richard to be cautious, and Siegfried tells him to go fast because it’s all about confidence. This is how I ended up going 80 miles per hour down a highway with a semi barreling behind me as my mom shouted, “DON’T LET HIM INTIMIDATE YOU.”
Richard’s confidence drive goes worse than mine did, as he ends up in a game of chicken with what turns out to be Mrs. Pumphrey’s car. He flinches, fortunately, and swerves off the road. He thinks he has hit a cat, but they determine that the cat was already injured. We will return to the cat, as it’s a metaphor for James and Helen’s situation. So James’s method didn’t work, Siegfried’s method didn’t work, and now we’re depending on Mrs. Pumphrey to be Richard’s unlikely teacher. Mrs. Pumphrey has taken a dislike to Richard, but he’s trying to be more of a human around her, and it works. He realizes that Tricki is like family to her and discovers the probable cause of Tricki’s dry skin (new shampoo). We also see the return of Tricki’s chaise, which I was SO excited about. More tiny dog furniture in season five!
Mrs. Pumphrey decides that Richard will drive her Rolls-Royce, with her and her driver François in the back and Tricki sitting next to Richard. She tells Richard that he needs to talk to Tricki constantly while he drives, which makes him less nervous, and — bam! — Richard can now drive. Mrs. Pumphrey is his Obi-Wan Kenobi. Or Yoda, maybe? She also calls Richard “Uncle Carmody,” so he’s well on his way.
On to James and Helen! Helen looks remarkably pregnant, for it is only two months after Cowmageddon. James isn’t talking to her about his going-to-war feelings, which is partially because everything is so busy, but he could also cancel some of his obligations if he wanted to. Again, did he need to be the one to teach Richard how to drive? He didn’t and he couldn’t. Helen is clearly terrified, as anyone is, I assume, when their family goes to war! It’s extremely scary! And they don’t know how long it’s going to last! Helen ends up centering some of her feelings on the injured cat.
The cat, which Siegfried and Richard bring back to the practice, either has to be put down or faces a long and difficult recovery after a painful surgery. Helen asks Siegfried and James to save it, and she volunteers to nurse him back to health. She names him Oscar. You can’t keep James safe in the Royal Air Force, but you can take care of this cat, Helen! To be fair, he’s very cute.
The day before James leaves, Helen finally makes him talk. She tells James he’s acting like he’s not leaving tomorrow, and James explains that when he signed up, she wasn’t pregnant and England wasn’t being bombed. For sure. But then James apologizes to Helen for abandoning her, and he tries not to cry. Helen tells him that he’s not abandoning anyone and she is proud of him. This is very good to say, Helen! I also don’t know how, as James, you could stop feeling that way, especially with your wife pregnant. What a complicated thing life is!!
James can’t sleep, and he goes downstairs, only to find that Siegfried also can’t sleep. When James says he isn’t ready to go and Siegfried says, “Sounds about right,” I remember that Siegfried went through this too and then my EMOTIONS. They sit in their armchairs drinking, and the show allows nice long pauses as they talk about war and their wives and James’s beginning at the practice. Oh no, I love my Darrowby family so much.
The next morning, James says good-bye to Helen, and Mom and Dad (Mrs. Hall and Siegfried) see him to the bus. James asks if they’ll look after Helen and Mrs. Hall promises to, despite just saying she’ll move with Gerald to the Lakes, so I don’t know what that’s about. Siegfried tells James he’s proud of him and shakes his hand (MY EMOTIONS AGAIN). We hear James reciting Robert Burns as the bus pulls away, ending with “And I will come again, my luve / Though it were ten-thousand mile.”
