What is time, really? It’s starting to seem like And Just Like That … doesn’t know. Or care? Or both! How freeing. But seriously, I went through that opening several times to figure out why we watched Carrie writing through what seemed like a solid eight months of seasons changing, only to be informed later that it has just been three months since the previous episode’s events. Why does this bother me so much? Let’s assume the whole thing was just to show us that Carrie has been working while other things have been going on because guess what? I’m tired, and Carrie has finished her memoir! Unfortunately, she feels a bit insecure about it because, to paraphrase her editor Amanda, Loved & Lost is a real fucking bummer.
Amanda loves Carrie’s departure from her Sex and the City writing but doesn’t want to alienate the fans who might be put off by something so unrelentingly depressing (how meta!). Amanda has a note: What if the book could end with some, even minuscule, “glimmer of hope?” In short: Amanda thinks Carrie should go on a date and write about it in an epilogue. It doesn’t have to mean Carrie is Dating Again; it’s just one date. It is just a little bit of light for the future. Do it for your readers, Carrie.
Carrie decides to do it. Her friends are more than happy to help — Charlotte is, of course, the most eager to start setting Carrie up, and you just know this woman has been writing away in her diary about how she simply cannot wait for the day Carrie lets her release the Divorced Dads, the Kraken of the Upper East Side. Unfortunately, today is not that day. Carrie doesn’t want to be set up with anyone her friends know. This is anonymous. It’s for work. It’ll probably be a disaster. Thankfully, Seema has been bored with a few slow real estate months and decided to “list” Carrie on several dating sites for funsies. Carrie is a hot commodity, it seems. But this whole thing is really on Carrie, who eventually works up the nerve to connect with a very handsome teacher/widower named Peter.
Both Peter and Carrie admit this is their first date since their spouse died, and things are uncomfortable on this date. After going over how each of their spouses died, which is a super intense ice breaker, they decide what they need to make this easier: alcohol. So much alcohol. We cut to the end of the date, and Carrie and Peter come pouring out of the restaurant. They are giggling. They are hammered. It seems like a good time! And then Peter barfs. Not, like, a little barf. Projectile barf. And then Carrie barfs. And then they are kind of barfing on-slash-near each other. It is wild. Honestly, I’m so proud of myself for making it this far into the recap pretending like everything is normal, and not immediately starting things off by screaming IN THIS EPISODE, PEOPLE THROW UP ON EACH OTHER!!! Because guys, in this episode, people throw up on each other.
Carrie is understandably mortified. The whole crew convenes at a charity auction for Charlotte’s kids’ school, where a “Lunch with Carrie Bradshaw” is being auctioned off, and she relays the story to her pals. They try to be reassuring: Anthony admits that he once shit his pants on a date, but he was in the seventh grade and did not just have a husband who just died, so that story is unhelpful. Carrie already told Miranda that she thinks she may swear off sex for good — she says, yes, it’s strange to think about never having sex again but even worse to think about having sex with someone other than Big — and now she thinks she might have to give up good ol’ fashioned dating, too. There is no glimmer of hope. Hope is dead. Or covered in vomit.
Well, wouldn’t you know, Peter turns up at the charity event. Carrie does her best to avoid bumping into him (by “does her best,” I mean “forces Anthony to follow him until he’s sure he’s left the building”), but almost running into “Professor Puke” is only the start of the evening’s embarrassments. As if this woman hasn’t suffered enough mortification in the past 24 hours, it’s time for her “item” to be auctioned off, and Herbert — although Mr. LTW seems great — introduces it as “a date with sex writer Carrie Bradshaw.” It’s definitely not supposed to be a date, and Carrie thinks that being called a “sex writer” gives off the wrong vibe, and then she has to stand up there on the stage while no one offers any kind of bid. Herbert even cuts the price! It’s awful. Charlotte tries to bid on her, but that just makes it even worse. So, Carrie decides to bid on herself — $1,000 dollars, please and thanks, let’s put this national nightmare to an end. But then, lo and behold, Professor Puke did not actually leave the event, and he sees what’s going on. He places a bid for $1,050 because he is a NICE MAN with SOME MONEY and probably because he feels bad about the whole barfing thing.
At the end of the night, he makes sure Carrie knows they don’t actually have to go to lunch, nor does she need to pay his bid. It’s for the children. Then, all of a sudden, there it is — a glimmer of hope. She decides that, you know what, they should go out to lunch. And why not, honestly? They have almost the actual lowest bar to clear in order to have one of their dates considered “good.” Even if nothing really works out with Peter romantically, it might be nice for Carrie to spend some time with someone who understands what she’s going through. Peter could be good for her. And so, Carrie goes home and starts to work on that epilogue. Amanda is going to be so happy.
This and That
• After not hearing back from Che for three months, Miranda decides to attempt to jumpstart her sex life with Steve. She does this by trying to recreate those Che kitchen shenanigans, but it does not go well. It goes nowhere. Miranda gives up pretty easily and declares her sex life dead. Then she runs into Che at the charity event and learns Che simply missed the DM. They are both super hot for each other still and end up in bed, where Miranda tells Che she’s never felt so good, and also she’s in love with them. Miranda has zero chill.
• Carrie wouldn’t tell Miranda Che was going to be at the event? Carrie is a terrible friend.
• Could Miranda maybe, I don’t know, have a conversation with Steve about their stilted sex life and what she needs?? That “attempt” to revive things was pretty half-assed.
• Charlotte and Harry get into a public spat after an intense mixed doubles match with the Wexleys. Harry learns about mansplaining, and Charlotte learns that Herbert and Lisa also bicker, because all couples do. It seems like the show is still uncertain how to best use LTW, but she could be such a great addition to the group.
• The structure of these episodes feels so off, no? In the middle of everything, Nya gets two random scenes in which she tells Miranda she got her period after she thought she might be pregnant and hasn’t told her husband yet and then Andre finds out through a text mishap, and they talk about how she needs to be open with him. Oh, and then an unhinged father screams “I have a toddler!” at her multiple times when she is distracted and has to slam on the brakes in front of a crosswalk. One yell would’ve been sufficient, sir! Regardless, Nya deserves some fleshing out.
• Can we talk about how Anthony is having the time of his life, and we are all missing it?? In the show’s POV, he’s being relegated to Assisting the Widow Bradshaw, but from all of his asides, it seems like he’s the only one really having fun these days. He’s having post-divorce high jinks! He’s getting handies in the bathroom from cater waiters even though he swore them off! He is living.
