overnights

Emily in Paris Recap: That Lavender Haze

Emily in Paris

Ex-en-Provence
Season 3 Episode 6
Editor’s Rating 5 stars

Emily in Paris

Ex-en-Provence
Season 3 Episode 6
Editor’s Rating 5 stars
Photo: Stéphanie Branchu/Netflix

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I sort of forgot Antoine existed until this episode. Most of his maneuverings have been offscreen and his history with Sylvie seemed to be a distant memory. Still, I was happy to see us pick up those threads again!

Alfie is learning why Antoine was so quick to hire a young buck he barely knew to be his CFO: Antoine is bad with money, constantly spending what he doesn’t have and never worrying about it. He’s also about to launch a new fragrance. Alfie discusses this with Emily, who attempts to offer financial advice. If I were Alfie, I would lose it if my dumb-dumb girlfriend who is decked out in designer goods every day and lives in a corporate-provided apartment for which she has yet to pay rent told me how to handle money.

In Mindy news, Benoit has completely cut her out and Nicolas is texting her. She cannot believe that Nicolas is into her even though he is very obviously, totally into her, and it’s not a particularly implausible development. They don’t really factor into the rest of the episode, so no need to dwell on them here!

Agence Grateau is in a bind: They’re hosting an event called the McLaren experience to introduce a limited-edition sports car but their venue pulled out. Meanwhile — quelle coïncidence! — Alfie is texting Emily pictures of Antoine’s chateau with lavender fields which would look awfully lovely behind a purple car. I laughed out loud when Emily pulled pictures up on the big screen at the office, as if Sylvie, Antoine’s former mistress, wasn’t having sex in every square inch of this estate while Emily was still doddering around greater Illinois watching Cubs games with Human Plot Device: the Chicago Boyfriend. Still, Sylvie approves Emily’s good idea, which will be quality exposure for one client (Antoine) and a lifesaver for another (McLaren). Of course, the last-minute culinary needs will be met by Gabriel, who is not too busy running a restaurant to come up with a menu for this fleet of VIPs. (I tease, but actually, I will accept this contrivance because part of what makes this episode work so well is we have good-enough reasons for so many key players to be together that deepen the main goings-on, which is a terrific change of pace from our aimless detours down “Mindy has a song in her heart” lane.)

Camille pretends to be jealous that everyone is going to Provence without her while she is busy shtupping Sofia the hot artist behind Gabriel’s back. She asks Emily to “look after our man for me, won’t you?” with a little SPICE behind it, which is what I have been waiting for! Later, we learn that Sofia knows she has a boyfriend but doesn’t care and wants Camille to come with her to Greece. “Are we really here to love only one person?” Great question that I have been asking this show from day one!

Off to the chateau, which happens to be close to a Michelin-starred restaurant that Gabriel has dreamed of trying so we know something will transpire forcing Gabriel and Emily to go together as if they are on a date. On the subject of dates: Sylvie brought her boyfriend, Erik. Now that she’s free from Madeline’s scrutiny, Sylvie can just go ahead and employ all the men with whom she has sex. A victory for the French! Do we think it was wise or fair for Sylvie not to tell Erik that their destination was an estate belonging to her ex? Perhaps she could’ve mentioned this before she stranded him at the chateau? I hate to criticize my hero, but that was pretty shitty of her, hot on the heels of neglecting to tell Erik that Laurent would be staying at her apartment.

Antoine has a crisis: The new batch of perfume is off-balance and only a small amount smells the way it’s supposed to. Everyone has a meltdown about this. Alfie is summoned to help problem-solve, which leaves Emily and Gabriel alone for what Gabriel assures Emily will “only be the best meal of your life.” Alfie watches Antoine and his wife, Catherine, have a spat about Antoine’s reckless spending that Catherine hopes Alfie can rein in. Antoine is disinterested in selling the bad batch to a wholesaler (“It could become what? A Victoria’s Secret body spray?” LMAO). Oh well, time for the rest of us to take lunch.

At this meal, I am reminded of how, in earlier seasons, I wondered if Emily had experienced blunt head trauma shortly before we met her, thus putting a lot of her otherwise inexplicably dopey behavior into a context I could understand. At this lunch, she sits on a bag stool at a table with two chairs. For some reason, we come back to this silly error several times and I cannot figure out why. Obviously everyone thinks they’re a couple, and I get that we’re supposed to be all ooOOooOOoh, they seem like a COUPLE!! But honestly, this misunderstanding could easily be addressed with an “Oh, actually, we’re colleagues! I do PR for Gabriel’s restaurant.”

This meal is mostly an excuse for a nearly pornographic montage of Emily and Gabriel eating what looks like truly outstanding food. I have complained many a time about there not being any sex on this show (mostly because I find it confusing … is the target demographic middle schoolers or what?) but credit where it’s due: This is basically a sex scene. Then we learn about Gabriel’s hopes and dreams before meeting the chef who runs this place. It’s kind of boring but I suppose a nice change of pace to see a man ask another man how he manages work-life balance even if the answer comes down to, like, it’ll all work out if you dream big enough (extremely male response).

The McLaren party begins before Antoine can sort out his perfume disaster. Emily is wearing an outfit that makes her look like she is being attacked by enormous purple loofahs. Sylvie has even bigger problems than Emily’s clown suit: Laurent is on the way, and she didn’t even know he was invited. Erik’s not going to be thrilled! To get ahead of this and also because Emily’s accent is painful to Sylvie’s ears, Sylvie takes over check-in. But alas, Erik sees Laurent show up and demands to know what he’s doing here — and he wants to know why Sylvie is still married. Sylvie is speechless (!) so Erik bails.

Emily meets Tim Davies, the man behind the sports car, who explains the extremely no-duh relationship between exclusivity and luxury. This is actually the same thing Sylvie has been explaining to Emily since the dawn of this series. But Emily realizes now that this idea can be applied to Antoine’s conundrum. Instead of doing the savvy thing (taking the idea to Sylvie who can pitch it appropriately), Emily just barges in on a private conversation between Antoine and Alfie and blurts out her half-baked vision: Release the good batch as a limited-edition perfume. Antoine accuses Alfie of being indiscreet and untrustworthy (not inaccurate!) and Emily of being an idiot financesplaining supply and demand to him. (“Next stop: The World Bank.”)

However, that evening over dinner, Antoine announces the limited-edition perfume as if he thought of it first and winks at Emily in apology. Remember when he bought her that lingerie? I feel like no one else on this show remembers that at all but it would be nice to acknowledge their slightly salacious history here so I am not left feeling like the entire first season of this series was something I hallucinated alone.

By nightfall, Sylvie is having a moody cigarette break. Laurent gives her his jacket and they have a talk about Hey, why are we still married? It’s all very dreamy and intimate and “let’s wander in the lavender fields” until they are rudely attacked by a swarm of bees. They strip off their clothes (full of bees) and plunge into the pool (no bees). Now they can safely, finally kiss. YES. Sorry to Erik, but I am rooting for this! It’s hilarious that Catherine thinks she’s busted Sylvie for spending the night with Laurent instead of Erik when obviously Sylvie doesn’t care what Catherine thinks of her.

Emily ends the trip wearing gigantic lavender platform heels and an awful orange vest covered in sequins. Antoine’s already got buyers for the perfume, so, of course, he bought the McLaren sports car … so much for Alfie’s efforts to keep his boss’s spending under control. He is upset about this for .02 seconds before Antoine bribes him with the offer of driving the car back to Paris — he and Emily giddily speed away. The receipt from the lunch Emily won’t be able to expense anymore, what with the handwritten note on it about “serving such a beautiful couple,” is hot in her pocket the whole way home.

Emily in Paris Recap: That Lavender Haze