Ghosting season is upon us, babes! And by that, I do not mean not responding to text messages (even if you are a dead guy catfishing a living on a dating app, dropping off the face of the earth is not cool, Trevor). Nor do I mean that it’s almost October and Halloween is on its way — I stand with the ghosts of Ghosts in that I, too, believe Halloween is a trash holiday. No, heretofore, ghosting season refers to the return of Ghosts, our beloved, bighearted, silly show about a bunch of dead people from different eras spending their afterlives in an old mansion together and the living couple who has to deal with their shenanigans. Didn’t you miss this dysfunctional yet loving family of misfits? Season one was such a delightful surprise — I mean, a show that can both make me endlessly giggle with its repeated use of the phrase “get sucked off” and also make me cry over the power of friendship? What a world! What a time! And if the premiere episode of season two is any indication, Ghosts does not seem to have lost any of its charm over the hiatus.
In fact, “Spies” feels like Ghosts at its best: There are silly ghost antics, heartfelt moments between more than one pairing, and even a visit to the Cholera Pit Ghosts in the basement, and you know that’s always a good time. Plus, an emotional climax courtesy of the Spice Girls and Pete trying once again to get justice for travel agents? Not to be offensive to any actual ghosts or anything, but we’re really living here.
So welcome back to Woodstone Manor — er, Woodstone B&B! We pick up exactly where we left off, which is to say that just as Sam and Jay are about to welcome their first guests to their newly opened bed-and-breakfast enterprise, the floor, rotted by termites, gives out and the Arondekars free-fall into the basement. Unfortunately, this little accident does not give Jay, as he desperately hopes, the power to finally see the ghosts he’s living with (that moment where he mistakes a delivery guy for Pete is soul-crushing, honestly), and instead, it puts a ton of pressure on Sam and Jay to deliver when their next guests arrive. Their fledgling business can’t survive with two terrible Yelp reviews, you know? And thus, we get the main conflict of this episode.
Here’s the thing: If your livelihood depended on making two very picky patrons happy, wouldn’t you do everything in your power to make it work? The ghosts point out to Sam that she has an advantage here — they can spy on Debbie and Tom and let her know how they really feel about the B&B so that Sam can “course correct” throughout their stay. They’ve been spying on livings for literal centuries! It’s no big deal! Well, to the ghosts it isn’t, anyway. It’s a very big deal to Jay, who finds the whole thing creepy and a violation of privacy, but Jay’s a nerd, so who cares? Just kidding! Jay’s absolutely right. Still, doesn’t the spying thing sound fun and also very helpful? It does to Sam. Once Pete, calling upon his wisdom as a former travel agent, points out that Debbie and Tom are Midwesterners and thus the trickiest travelers to get a read on since they’ll smile right at you and then complain behind your back (and, in fact, the couple has left a trail of vicious Yelp reviews in their wake), Sam decides to let the ghosts have at it. As Pete notes, “When you’re dealing with two-faced Duluthers, you do what you gotta.”
As one might expect, this plan only causes more problems. Debbie and Tom are terrible human beings, complaining about everything from hard towels to too many chocolate chips in the complimentary chocolate chip cookies to the pattern on Sam’s grandmother’s butter dish looking “satanic.” Sam tries to right every wrong the couple points out, but this is a Sisyphean task. Jay figures out what Sam and the ghosts are up to pretty early on — Sam is truly the worst liar — and while he’s exasperated watching his wife bend over backward for these people, it’s not until the ghosts relay that Debbie and Tom have a whole list of personal complaints about Sam that he gets angry. He marches into their dinner and tells them off, defending his “wonderful wife” who “is kind and smart” and, yes, has “a great ass.” (He knows that has nothing to do with anything, but he was on a roll, people!) Sam, too, begins to defend Jay, who, it should be noted, also has a great ass! It’s really lovely, and I’m glad Ghosts took time out to give our two livings a sweet moment — one element that makes this goofy premise work is believing in Sam and Jay as a team and reminding us of how good they are together.
Lucky for them, Debbie and Tom are more concerned with their Yelp reviews not being anonymous as they had believed than with the fact that Sam and Jay were somehow spying on them. The Woodstone B&B ends up with its first five-star review.
Two other members of the Woodstone crew also get a chance to express how much they mean to each other: Isaac and Thorfinn. Surprising, right? Ghosts has such a deep bench of great characters, it’s always fun to see them play with pairings. This focus on our Revolutionary War soldier and resident Viking doesn’t disappoint. At the end of last season, Isaac made his feelings for British soldier Nigel known and those feelings were reciprocated. It seems like the guys are taking things slow — they have eternity, after all — but they spend a lot more time together. Nigel has been a regular guest during TV time, but after a spirited watch (I swear, not a ghost pun) during an episode of What About Those ’90s, he seems to balk at the idea of sticking around for more.
It turns out that Thor really puts off Nigel … like, in general. He’s loud, his “playful” punches really hurt, and he talks about cod a lot. Isaac’s in a tough spot — and a new one for him, let’s not forget — and his first move is to chat with Thor about maybe toning things down. Isaac’s thing with Nigel is so new, and he doesn’t want to mess it up. That’s understandable, but Isaac sort of just decides to forget how insulting it is being told someone finds your entire personality pretty abrasive. So, like, I don’t blame the big guy when he gets upset and decides to move down with the Cholera Pit ghosts.
Sas and Hetty try to get Isaac to see the error of his ways and remind him that’s not the way you treat a friend, but Isaac is too wrapped up in wanting to finally be happy with Nigel that he refuses to admit he was wrong. No, it’s not until the next episode of What About Those ’90s and a look back at the Spice Girls (Nigel loves them, naturally) and their hit song “Wannabe” that things finally click for Isaac. He brings Nigel to the basement to see Thor, and Isaac apologizes for being so awful to him when he’s been such a good friend. He also clarifies his position, informing Nigel, “If you wanna be my special companion, you gotta get with my Viking friend.” See? The Spice Girls were very wise!! Nigel’s immediately onboard — if Thor is that important to Isaac, then he’ll make it work. And suddenly, Thor and Nigel are bonding over their shared love of watching ants. Hey, whatever works, right? It’s all very sweet and a nice reminder of how far our ghosts have come even in just one season — could you imagine Isaac being so open and vulnerable like that back in the pilot episode? Even in the afterlife, you can evolve as a person. What a thing to see!
Ghouls Just Want to Have Fun
• Isaac is nervous about confronting Nigel about what’s going on with him, worried he might want to end things, but what motivates him to have that hard conversation is Hetty’s sage advice: “Avoid relationship conflict at all costs. Bottle it up. Allow the resentment to fester until the hatred becomes so ever-present you must turn to the sweet, sweet milk of mother morphine to numb the pain.”
• Thor on the 1990s … and all of the other ’90s: “Probably the best ’90s since 1190s, although 1490s were pretty wild.”
• Nancy the Cholera Pit Ghost is a national treasure, and I’m so glad she’s still around even after her “breakup” with Pete.
• “Oh, someone can consume food. Must be nice!”
• Yes, it’s true: Ghosts is an adaptation of a U.K. series, also called Ghosts. It’s in its fourth season and equally delightful! You should definitely give that a go if you haven’t yet. There’s room for all ghosts in your heart, I promise!
