'Ugly Betty' Bites: 16 wit-filled bits from last night's episode, 'All the World's a Stage'!

Image Credit: Eric Liebowitz/ABC

Ugly Betty dropped some major truth bombs on us last week—Claire revealed the fraternal bonds between Daniel and Tyler, Bobby proposed earnestly to Hilda, and it turned out that Betty caused the fire at the Suarez household. But this week’s episode was just as secret- and drama-filled as the Shakespearean title nod implies.

Act one, scene one: The brilliantly cast Carol Kane, on stage as Justin’s new acting teacher Lena Korvinka, set up (and sums up) the episode’s major theme in one line—“acting is reinvention”—before she popped out her retainers and pulled off a brown wig. This week, Betty’s introspection took center stage. Her secret romance with starlet-dating, motorcycle-crashing playwright Zachary Boule (played by Aaron Tveit, and yes, he is Gossip Girl’s very own Trip Van der Bilt… the subtle GG references weren’t lost on us) forced her to reconcile her inherent geekdom and fashion-forward evolution with some help from Hilda.

And Justin did some soul-searching of his own, once he got caught up in a teenage love triangle that brings him to grips with his sexuality. Thank goodness! Because both Marc and Tanner have been on the edge of their seats, awaiting this moment of clarity, for oh so long. If only Austin hadn’t dropped out of the acting class right after his and Justin’s post-show kiss… poor littlest Suarez. Willy’s musings of “reinvention” brought her back to a quest for total Meade domination, and Amanda juggled attention from Daniel and Tyler as she figured out what she really wants in a relationship.

Only time will tell, though, which of these mere players are fools and which are wise men (and women) come the show’s fast-approaching curtain call. And without further adieu, last night’s best bites!

“He dates Gossip Girls and he won a Drama Desk award. I write a blog. I won a Blobby.” —Betty, comparing herself with the cute and accomplished playwright, Zachary Boule, who spoke at Justin’s drama class

“Don’t call him my brother. My only brother is my sister, Alexis.” —Daniel, when Amanda tries to persuade him to reach out to Tyler

“Exactly my point. The poor guy gets off a bus from South Dakota, you punch him, and now he’s whisked off to meet Manzilla in some foreign land.” —Amanda, convincing Daniel to give his newfound brother a chance

“Isn’t it obvious? Your stumble into good taste has killed her!” —Marc, scolding Betty after Willy sees her new, fashionable ensemble and keels over in pain

“One girl did a PSA for lead paint when she was four. She had to chew a windowsill.” —Justin, when a skeptical Marc asks if any of the kids in Justin’s acting class showcase are famous

“On one hand, I’ve known Daniel for years, and I really care about him. But on the other hand, Tyler’s a model, so it’s kind of even, right?” —Amanda, debating which brother she should spend time with

“Really, Marc? Soup AND half a salad? When the cat’s away the mice will gorge themselves to death.” —Wilhelmina from her hospital bed, scolding Marc for his indulgent lunch plans

“Oh my God, Willy. You’re in a semi-private room.” —Marc, when he and Amanda go to the hospital to pay Wilhelmina a visit

“Noo, you heard Daniel. I get the next cover. So park your ass down. Jock Strap Night at Boy Bar doesn’t start till 10.” —Wilhelmina to Marc, when she wants to keep working from her hospital bed

“Okay. There’s a chance this movie might stink, but it’s starring Bruce Willis so the theater will probably be empty.” —Betty, face fully covered in a scarf, leaving with Zachary on their way to a secret date

“Oh, hey Betty. Yeah, she’s hanging out in the lobby again. I know, weird! It’s not even Saturday.” —Amanda, to Marc on the phone when she spots a not-so-incognito Betty and Zachary in the apartment building

“Tell me. Does this say engagement party or dead hooker under a bridge?”—Hilda, trying on dresses in the Mode closet

“I have no idea what to say to you. You could LOSE your journalism license.” —Daniel, messing with Betty when he catches her kissing her interview subject, Zachary

“We can’t. She’ll only grow stronger.” —Mark, when Amanda suggests they try killing Wilhelmina to keep her from working

“I’m sorry. I assumed by the zombie-like complexion and the occasional death rattle you wouldn’t mind.” —Wilhelmina to her hospital roommate, who complains about her constant texting

“No, I’m sorry. It must have been so hard to grow up with a mother who was younger than you.”—Betty, to Zachary when he tries to apologize for lying and bringing another woman to his play premiere

What were your favorite lines from last night, Ugly Betty fans? Did I miss anything? And what did you think of the watershed Justin-Austin kiss?

More ‘Ugly Betty’ Bites from EW.com:

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The best 18 one-liners from last night’s episode, ‘Fire and Nice’!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 15 fiery quips from last night’s episode, ‘Smokin’ Hot’!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 23 drag-lightful lines from last night’s episode, ‘Chica and the Man’!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 20 bright quips from last night’s episode, ‘Blackout!’

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 16 killer lines from Wednesday’s episode, ‘Back in Her Place’!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 24 flair-filled lines from last night’s episode, ‘The Passion of the Betty’!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The 11 quippiest gems from last night’s episode, ‘Be-Shure’!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: The 18 funniest lines from last night!

‘Ugly Betty’ Bites: 10 genius lines from Friday night’s great episode!

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