'Star Wars,' 'Spongebob': Thanksgiving weekend marathon guide

Over your turkey hangover yet? No? Good. You may have thought the holiday marathons would end with today’s televised deluge, but you would be wrong. We roll out the best of the rest below, including Spongebob, Battlestar, Mad Men, Glee, and, yes, the Kardashians. We’re talking wall-to-wall weekend television, people. Keep reading…

FRIDAY

As Black Friday descends on America, TLC will never let us forget that there are brides in desperate need of an overpriced gown. The network is launching a full-scale Say Yes to the Dress attack with six hours of its original recipe series (6 a.m.-noon Friday) and three hours of Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids (6-9 p.m.). To see how the ladies got to the aisle, check out Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker marathon (11 a.m.-2 a.m. Saturday). For all the foibles of love, marriage, and brassy ol’ ladies post-gown, head over to TBS for an unflinching Tyler Perry marathon (9:30 a.m.-11 p.m.), which includes the mogul’s TV shows House of Payne and For Better or Worse, plus all the Madea movies.

Lest we forget about our men, BBC America is serving up nearly 24 hours of Top Gear (8 a.m. Friday-6 a.m Saturday). Over on National Geographic Channel, the Rocket City Rednecks (3 p.m. Friday-3 a.m. Saturday), and Bio Channel will spook you to the core with a Paranormal State marathon (6 p.m. Friday-4 a.m. Saturday).

For the younger set, Black Friday is Unofficial SpongeBob SquarePants Day on Nickelodeon (7 a.m.-9 p.m.). Teens will delight in two first-season rebroadcasts: The Glee Project plays all day starting at 10 a.m., and MTV is rerunning Awkward. from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. (Though we wouldn’t blame adults at all for taking nostalgic pleasure in the trials and tribulations of Jenna Hamilton.)

SATURDAY

You’ve over the Thanksgiving hump, so how to spend your Saturday? By watching Star Wars, clearly. Spike TV begins a two-day marathon today at 9 a.m. (Saturday features Episodes I-III, Sunday also begins at 9 a.m. and showcases the classic Episodes IV-VI). Prefer your Harrison Ford with a bullwhip? Check out USA’s Indiana Jones marathon (noon-8 p.m.). If your geek streak hasn’t been satisfied, there’s also a choice between BBC America’s Battlestar Galactica marathon (6 a.m.-9 p.m.) and the Firefly block (9 a.m.-8 p.m.) on the Science Channel. For intrepid explorers of an entirely different sort, check out Deadliest Catch on Discovery from 11 a.m.-8 p.m.

Those seeking lighter fare can spend a day in Chris Rock’s world with Everybody Hates Chris (9 a.m.-7 p.m.) on BET. Elsewhere, IFC anticipates April’s Three Stooges remake with a run of classic episodes (10 a.m.-1:45 p.m.), TV Land doesn’t even try to stop the 89-year-old juggernaut known as Betty White with a 12-hour Hot in Cleveland block (9 a.m.-9 p.m.), Comedy Central presents four hours of unadulterated Tosh.0 (6:56-11 p.m.), and LOGO presents some fabulousness courtesy of The A List: New York (6 a.m.-2 p.m.).

SUNDAY

Some may consider this a day of rest, but there’s more than enough to keep TV watchers occupied. Starting bright and early, AMC is airing three episodes of Mad Men from 6-9 a.m. Flip over to BET for a retrospective of The Bernie Mac Show (10 a.m.-3 p.m.) or check out Sundance’s coutureality show Unleashed by Garo (10 a.m.-4 p.m.). The afternoon sees some stiff lady competition between WE tv’s My Fair Wedding With David Tutera (1-10 p.m.) and two sister acts — the Style Network’s Tia & Tamera (2-8 p.m.) and E!’s Kourtney and Kim Take New York (2-7 p.m. in advance of the show’s 10 p.m. second season premiere). If you prefer your mass carnage courtesy of zombies instead of heiresses and bridezillas, flip back to AMC for a six-episode catch-up course on The Walking Dead (2:30-9 p.m.) before the midseason finale.