Jon Stewart, Bill O'Reilly Rumble: Best lines

Spending a Saturday night in to listen to a 90-minute discussion on foreign policy, NPR funding, and national service isn’t just for the CSPAN-loving policy nerds among us.

Earlier tonight, Bill O’Reilly and Jon Stewart participated in The Rumble 2012, a debate on the aforementioned issues and more. Armed with notecards (for O’Reilly) and a rising platform to stand on (for the 5’ 7” Stewart), the duo joked and sparred during a wide-ranging chat. (Check out Ken Tucker’s take on the proceedings). The discussion had plenty of moments we won’t be seeing during President Obama and Gov. Romney’s next debate: When asked what popular American they would put in charge, O’Reilly said Clint Eastwood, and Stewart couldn’t resist getting out of his chair — leaving it empty — and saying, “Well, why don’t we ask him?” Despite their obvious political differences, the duo clearly have a fondness for each other.

If you missed it, you can still download the whole thing from TheRumble2012.com — but for those who just want the highlights, check out the Top 10 lines from the event below. (Note: Like Stewart, O’Reilly made great points during the debate; unfortunately, as the non-comedian, O’Reilly had less quippy remarks).

1.) “My friend Bill O’Reilly is completely full of sh*t.” –Jon Stewart’s opening sentence, responding to O’Reilly’s opening statement that name-checked both Mitt Romney’s infamous “47%” comment as well as Sandra Fluke.

2.) “I have come here tonight to plead to the mayor of Bulls*** Mountain…talk to your people.” Stewart referenced Bulls*** Mountain – a phrase from one of his recent (and very popular) Daily Show bits – often during the debate, especially when talking about the “alternate reality” he felt many people inhabit. As an example, he brought up Big Bird (the political issue of the day) early on.

3.) “Income redistribution= Robin Hood on steroids” and “Drones, yes. Waterboards, no?” O’Reilly brought giant notecards with these phrases and more on them.

4.) “You’ve been begrudging all night! Begrudge, begrudge, begrudge!” – Stewart, when, during a discussion about entitlement spending, O’Reilly said he didn’t “begrudge” anyone help “who actually needed it.”

5.) “Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break, you’re a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something [he was referencing food stamps] you need to not be hungry, you’re a moocher?” –An especially exasperated Stewart, in one of his biggest applause lines of the evening.

6.) “I don’t care if Gerry and the Pacemakers attacked it [the embassy]!” “This is on the Internet, Bill. I really don’t think that’s the reference to make.” –O’Reilly and Stewart, making fun of Bill’s outdated references.

7.) “Fox News Network made [a ton of money] last year, so…”- O’Reilly “[Deeply sarcastic] You can’t make money selling crap in America, that’s for sure!” -Stewart

8.) “I think any time you run an organization where more people believe that Obama is a Muslim than believe in evolution, there’s a problem.” –Stewart, talking about Fox News

9.) “We’re only as good as our weakest link? We’re only as good as CNN? Are you kidding me?” –O’Reilly, responding to Stewart’s statement that America is only as good as its weakest part.

10.) “We won the war on Christmas, number one.” –O’Reilly

Did you watch? Who won the Rumble?

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