Silicon Valley recap: Server Space

This week’s episode of Silicon Valley had it all, or least many things, and those many things included but were not limited to malfunctioning potato cannons, German night terrors, and illicit ferrets. Did we mention the bionic masturbating monkey? We probably should, because that was the boldest gag of this still-young season. “Server Space” was also notable for Erlich’s dutiful honoring of Japanese traditions by presenting a gift of a kimono, speaking a few precious words in that language, and teaching Richard the art of the bow. In that spirit, our weekly guest analyst/recap-stealer T.J. Miller and I decided to pay tribute to Erlich’s deep, fashionable interest in the Far East by conducting our revisiting of “Server Space” in the traditional 5-7-5 haiku format. (Plus, T.J. recently returned from a visit to Japan, so he’ll probably be really good at this.)

DAN SNIERSON: T.J.-san, I hope you are willing to go to great lengths—or actually, 17 syllables—to make this recap special. And because I can’t see you right now, I ask: In what type of kimono are you currently clad?

T.J. MILLER: Straight-up knee-length silk,

Big Hero Six print butt flap

E-dub Logo scarf

Oh… I guess you’ve already started. All right then. Let’s get ourselves well-versed in some poetry:

Stressful company

Richard wakes up in deep sweat

That is sweat not pee

Erlich thinks it’s pee

Me too I agree, it’s pee.

Hee hee, Richard peed!

Look for space to rent

Find one with lost hot model

Sign for Dinesh… please?

I prefer to talk

Of nooks, conferences, what joy!

Jared is the worst.

But Zach is the best,

Although he leaves the bed wet

Tears from Jane Austen

A dog-sharing site

For people who enjoy Christ

Erlich barks, won’t bite

Oh Potbelly pigs!

How you came and went last year

Little piggy nose

Kimono present

From Erlich to incubee

From Richard, bad bows

Bow to the waist please,

Use those knees arigato,

Erlich is top-heavy

Servers won’t serve them

A Hooli conspiracy

The Gates of Lanai

So precious Jared,

Imagine weddings, puttin’

on hats! What a mind

Every company

Will be Hooli, Hooli is

Every company

Whoa, that s— is deep

A moment of awe you earned

Back to verse I go…

Tough choice for Richard

Office space or interface

So long, Yolena

Erlich a bullet

Takes, welcomes the boys back home,

Celebrate with pot (?)

When it comes down to

Erlich and the wacky weed

There is no question

I have one. Where am I? I’m so hungry.

Huh? Is this still haiku?

Stay with me, T.J. You’ve been doing so well, buddy. All right, we’re going to start again:

Sad Erlich relieved

Incubees once more

Wait—is that a word?

Neighborly is not,

Jared sleeps with ferrets on

What looks like a cot

Big Head with small dreams

Snooty, snotty, snobby prof

Only one will stay

Potato cannon,

Japanese business… man man,

Dan, this is HARD. I mean, I almost failed English in sixth grade and you got me countin’ syllables on the right hand! Usin’ the left hand for the middle line?! Okay… well, let’s get it done then—

No worries at all

And truth? You are killing it

I’ll take the next few

Potato cannon

Hmm, non-lethal crowd control?

Duck! Sorry ‘bout that!

One monkey, no arms

Robbed of motion by land mines

Then: bionic limb

It’s a miracle!

Monkey is only human

Bionic jerk-off

Whack, jack, attack it!

It is what the arm is for.

That and dung slinging.

Here’s a math question

What’s the monkey’s D2F?

Longer than mine is.

A room full, tiny

Monkeys, no typewriters just

Robot Arms for fun!

Bed in a garage

Evicted for servers

No one wants Jared

Me, I sleep dick up

Butt down, ankles askew and

Ears behind the nose.

Nosy wheelchair dude

Takes the loooooooong way to say it:

Not zoned for business

Richard just can’t stop

Leaks from all pores but that one

Time for some Kegles?

I’m doing them now

Clench, release, clench, release, clench,

Release, rest, smoke pot

Pool party at work?

This is our home, get high

Whenever we want.

When you work from home

Then how you’re zoned important

as how you’re stoned…

Mild, gentle Jared

So pent up, dressed down, you live

Teutonic nightmares

Noah has no ark

But old man got those ferrets

Against Cali code

Did you say calico? Like a cat? Or a dress? Do you have any Fage? What’s the spoon sitch?

T.J., we talked about this. No Fage ’til we’re finished. Now, back to Noah:

His leverage no more

Meet Jared, your new tenant

Free utilities

The troops are gathered

Let’s give it up for Bag Head

Bannerchek resigned

Bag Head? I thought it

was Big Head from his last name

But what do I know? If his head is a bag full of nothing, then Gavin had his last name right.

Gavin wants a fight

And Gavin gets what he wants

Nucleus livestream

Can it be ready?

All glitches in a chokehold?

Knock Pied Piper out?

I can do haiku

I am back on track with you

Bring it on, buddy!

Shhh! There are delays.

Six weeks? No! 15? No! More!

They shall not be told.

Tease J. Miller,

Mad wisdom may you now drop

About next week’s show

Poetry—motion

Death is extremely proud, might

​own a BMX