exemplifying unintended consequences

[FabienGandon]

The introduction is great and includes this motivating statement:

The Web has been a force for good, and has sparked major social changes. But the Web's amazing success has led to many unintended consequences that harm society: openness and anonymity have given rise to scams, phishing, and fraud. The ease of gathering personal information has led to business models that mine and sell detailed user data, without people's awareness or consent. Rapid global information sharing has allowed misinformation to flourish and be exploited for political or commercial gain.

Because it is split from others, the piece about openness and anonymity seems to put a special emphasis on this topic.

I would suggest using an enumeration eg

The Web has been a force for good, and has sparked major social changes. But the Web's amazing success has led to many unintended consequences that harm society: openness and anonymity have given rise to scams, phishing, and fraud; ease of gathering personal information has led to business models that mine and sell detailed user data, without people's awareness or consent; rapid global information sharing has allowed misinformation to flourish and be exploited for political or commercial gain.

Or alternatively split the sentence:

The Web has been a force for good, and has sparked major social changes. But the Web's amazing success has led to many unintended consequences that harm society. For instance, openness and anonymity have given rise to scams, phishing, and fraud. The ease of gathering personal information has led to business models that mine and sell detailed user data, without people's awareness or consent. Rapid global information sharing has allowed misinformation to flourish and be exploited for political or commercial gain.

(keep in mind I am not a native speaker and that may be the problem 😀 )

[michaelchampion]

I am a native speaker, and I fear I wrote an earlier version of that sentence without proper regard for people less fluent in English 😿

I like your suggested edits to make shorter sentences.

[cwilso]

I would prefer "for example" over "for instance", but shorter sentences are good.

[TzviyaSiegman]

I like this proposal, and I agree with Chris's tweak

[frivoal]

I like the "enumeration" one best, as the parallelism in structure makes most sense to me. "split the sentence" is the second best to me, shorter sentences are good, but only one of the example gets to say "for instance", so it's not as balanced. The original is my least favorite of the 3.

[fantasai]

Ditto what @frivoal said.

[cwilso]

This is fixed by #111 , btw.

[cwilso]

This was fixed.