LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS
“An inauguration television special titled Celebrating America aired last night, hosted by former COVID patient and future pneumonia patient Tom Hanks.”
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Quotes of the Week: 9-1-1, Superstore, Bling Empire, Dickinson and More
Courtesy of Fox; NBC (2)
Inauguration Fever swept the small screen this week — and the same can be said for our Quotes of the Week column.
As you might expect, our latest compilation includes multiple soundbites from cable news and late-night TV personalities, who had plenty to say about departing president Donald Trump and incoming POTUS Joe Biden, and the festivities that marked the start of a new administration.
But there are also several scripted moments that appear in the list below, including a 9-1-1 patient’s refusal to acknowledge the past year, and Mr. Mayor‘s failed attempt to connect with his teenage daughter. The new Batwoman (read post mortem), Bling Empire‘s Anna and Dickinson‘s Ship also make appearances.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: double doses of Prodigal Son (read post mortem) and Superstore (in which Cloud 9’s new co-manager disses both an Emmy winner and an Oscar winner), plus sound bites from Bob Hearts Abishola, The Good Doctor, The Unicorn and more primetime faves.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
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Image Credit: NBC screenshot -
THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “That fireworks display [was] so large that I believe it violates the Paris Climate Accord.”
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THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: CBS screenshot (2) “Fun fact: After the inauguration, Lady Gaga didn’t get in a limo. That bird on her dress just carried her home.”
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9-1-1
Image Credit: Fox screenshot (2) “Tracy, do you know what year it is?”
“Please don’t make me say it out loud.”
Hen’s (Aisha Hinds) patient Tracy (guest star Corey Clifford) could barely move after a hellish bus crash, but she had no problem rolling her eyes at 2020
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BATWOMAN
Image Credit: The CW screenshot “I’m bulletproof, bitches!”
Ryan Wilder (Javicia Leslie) being adorable while discovering the Batsuit’s awesome capabilities
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MR. MAYOR
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “So, what’s Gucci, fam? Any VSCO girls stress you out about cheddar? … Mmmm! TFW that feeling when these tacos squat. You up? … Look, salt bae, I know I haven’t been around as much as you’re used to — hashtag #MayorLife…”
To bond with his daughter, Neil (Ted Danson) makes a meal of Internet slang
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THE UNICORN
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “How’s my little Snoop Dogg?”
“I let a bunch of co-workers — Children! They’re little children! — peer pressure me into eating ebidles… ebidles… ebidles… what is it?”
“Edibles.”
“Edibles!”
“There it is.”
“Woo! I thought I lost it!”
Forrest (Rob Corddry) comes clean to Delia (Michaela Watkins) after accidentally getting too high before a big dinner with Wade’s new girlfriend
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SUPERSTORE
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “Sorry about that. I got lost hate-watching a James Corden clip at the gas pump.”
“Ooh, I love him. He has a British accent, but you can tell he’s not smarter than you.”
Neither Dina (Lauren Ash) nor Sandra (Kaliko Kauahi) have an especially high opinion of the Late Late Show host
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SUPERSTORE (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: NBC screenshot “These two morons have been defacing the entire store by putting up all these pictures of Diane Keaton.”
Dina (Lauren Ash) mistakes The Babadook for the Oscar-winning actress, who is known for her love of hats
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THE RACHEL MADDOW SHOW
Image Credit: MSNBC screenshot “At the White House’s insistence, they installed a new CDC Chief of Staff who was a booker for the Cartoon Network. For real. I mean, if you think about it, the talent for the cartoon network is, like, cartoons. How hard is it to book them? Don’t you just draw them?”
Maddow, looking back in disbelief at the last four years, following President Biden’s inauguration
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JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “Trump has the lowest average approval rating of any president in the modern era. The only one to leave office with a lower rating than that was Kevin Spacey.”
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JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: ABC screenshot “This is kind of like a spinoff presidency. Joe Biden was one of the most beloved supporting characters from the Obama administration, and now he’s got his own show. Basically, this is the Frasier of presidencies.”
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BULL
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “Gosh… I remember when he used to tell clients what color shirt to wear to their depositions.”
Marissa (Geneva Carr) is proud to hear Chunk conduct a scathing cross-examination
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BULL (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “Rumor has it that you’re running for D.A. — in the greatest city in the world!”
Could Chunk (Christopher Jackson) be quoting Hamilton lyrics…?
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NCIS: LOS ANGELES
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “You lose a bracelet last week?”
“I had one stolen from me…”
“Huh, that’s very convenient.”
“Call it what you want, Duran Duran!”
Sabatino’s (Erik Palladino) man bun continues to be a nickname magnet
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NCIS
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “I don’t know if I should punch, or if I should hug you.”
“Can we start with the hug?”
Emily (Juliette Angelo) is glad to see her dad (Joe Spano) alive. That months-long vanishing act, though…
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FAMILY GUY
Image Credit: Fox screenshot “Hate is the most important emotion in life, next to love. When you have someone to hate, you have something to live for — someone to beat at something. I have Blue Subaru 8CXX475. It stole my spot in a Target parking lot on Black Friday three years ago, and I’ve carried a D battery in my pocket every day since. This is either going to break a windshield, teeth, or in a perfect world, both. And the thought of that car out there somewhere gets me up every morning. Vengeance is a powerful alarm clock!”
We always knew that Lois (Alex Borstein) was twisted, but we had no idea she was out for blood
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BLING EMPIRE
Image Credit: Netflix screenshot “If he has issues, don’t put it onto her. There ain’t no d–k that good.”
Anna eloquently explaining why Kelly should dump her boyfriend Andrew ASAP
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DICKINSON
Image Credit: Apple TV+ screenshot “A quiet night in, baby. Novels and chill.”
Ship (Pico Alexander) knows how to unwind, pre-Netflix
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THE GOOD DOCTOR
Image Credit: ABC screenshot (2) “Shaun, our relationship will not end in natural disaster.”
“It did begin in one.”
Dr. Murphy (Freddie Highmore) has a point
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BOB HEARTS ABISHOLA
Image Credit: CBS screenshot “You’re not the same woman he left eight years ago. Tayo doesn’t know it. But I do.”
“So, you have me all figured out?”
“Not at all.”
“Good answer.”
“Yes, it was.”
Bob (Billy Gardell) and Abishola (Folake Olowofoyeku) talk about why she’s not moving back to Nigeria with her estranged husband, despite his endlessly devious attempts to force the issue
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PRODIGAL SON
Image Credit: Fox screenshot “Does he let you wear his turtlenecks?”
Ainsley (Halston Sage) has a pressing question after learning that her mother and Gil are romantically involved
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PRODIGAL SON (Bonus Quote!)
Image Credit: Fox screenshot “OK, I shouldn’t have snooped. But something is clearly going on, and we’re just not going to talk about it?”
“We are WASPs. It’s what we do.”
Seriously, Jessica (Bellamy Young) is really not interested in discussing Gil right now
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6 Comments
Most Commented
Ahaha, I love that “Frasier” quote from Kimmel :D. That’s cute.
Let’s hope it IS Frasier, and not ‘Joey’
I am extremely disappointed they did not include Kevins you had me at snuff film from Riverdale” of the week even TV line has no love for KevIn
Christopher Jackson’s (Chunk on “Bull”)
reference to lyrics from Hamilton was hilarious.
Mr. Mayor quote where Neil (Ted Danson) thought Cool AF = Cool As Fonzie was my favourite from that episode.