Tag: Hellmouth

You Thought Disney Killed Star Wars

At this point, Devil Mouse executives are going to find themselves facing criminal charges in Florida under Title XLVI, Chapter 872, Section 6. They’re not content with destroying the canon, degrading the characters, and demolishing any modicum of competent storytelling, they’ve now Marion Zimmer Bradleed the Force itself:

This episode was comically bad. It functions as Star Wars answer to the Timeless Child in that it is a major canonical retcon. And given that this is Disney, the retcon will remain in place as part of the lore until Disney collapses and the IPs are auctioned off. Once again because: No. One. At. Disney. Can. Admit. To. Making. A. Mistake.

The episode opens on the Planet of the Space Lesbian Witches. How do I know they are witches because they explicitly state they are witches. The protagonist and antagonist are introduced as a set of young identical twins (girls naturally because there are no men at all on this idyllic world). The Space Lesbians have secret knowledge of the Force. The Force is actually, quite literally, female. The twins have two mothers, one who was their birth mother and the one that knocked her up using the Force. I should point out that the birth mother is from Darth Maul’s race but the twins look like black humans. Indicating their birth mother had no genetic input.

There is a lecture held on the womanly power of the Force. It’s not a “force” at all as that is far too masculine of a concept, it is in fact a thread that sews the cosmos together and it can be tugged upon to accomplish certain… This is all Wicca stuff, if you’ve ever become acquainted with that neopagan Marxist bullshit of a “religion” you’ll recognize the concepts pretty quickly. Space Lesbian Witches are the true and uncorrupted Force users.

There is a constant motif throughout this episode. “The power of one. The power of two. The power of many.”

The corporate cancer of convergence is considerably worse than you ever imagine it’s going to be. It’s reliably worse than you are even capable of imagining. And there is no way back from it, ever.

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You Get What You’ll Pay For

Now, I’ve never paid any attention to either the Kardashians or Kanye West, and wouldn’t grieve in the slightest if the entire Hellmouth vanished in a nuclear tidal wave triggered by a Russian super-torpedo. But that being said, people complaining about nepo babies being given opportunities that are denied to less-talented nonentities is an illogical appeal to a nonexistent meritocracy which never really existed and very much does not exist today.

The reason the third-generation Kardashian daughter was gifted the coveted role in The Lion King is entirely obvious:

Earlier this month, it was announced that North was cast in the live-to-film concert event which ran for two nights on May 24 and May 25. The Hollywood Bowl can notably hold up to 17,500 people and tickets for the concert began at $60.

She was given the role for one of three reasons, and it may very well be that all of them apply:

  • Her parents helped fund the event.
  • Her parents’ fame helped sell tickets for the event.
  • The event organizers are either seeking or repaying a favor done to the parents or one of the various organizations to which the parents are connected.

If you don’t like nepotism, stop supporting the parents. The individual who decries North West being handed a celebrity career on a silver platter but watches the Kardashians or listens to Kanye is literally responsible for the very thing she – and it’s usually going to be a she in this specific case – is decrying.

Furthermore, the idea that there is any meritocracy in the world of entertainment in general, or the Hellmouth in particular, is totally absurd. The Big Bear has to hold his comedy events in a barn or an aircraft hanger since he’s not allowed to perform in comedy clubs. I have to publish my own books since I’m not allowed to publish them through mainstream book publishers. We both have to stream on alternative channels and our access to marketing is limited since we’re banned from YouTube and X, among other places.

They metaphorically have to line us up 20 meters behind the starting blocks and weigh us down with weights just to be able to compete with us! How is that a “meritocracy” of any kind?

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Sad News for Predator Fans

If the rumors are to be believed, Tom Holland is attempting to get out of the much-anticipated next movie in the great Predator film series.

Suddenly, the foreign born superhero doesn’t want to play opposite his new co-star. He is trying to get out of his gig.

I don’t see why. She’s downright perfect for the part!

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May the Fourth

Owen Benjamin comments on the nerdiest fake holiday since Kwanzaa was invented.

To celebrate May the 4th we should all appreciate what a Boomer institution Star Wars is:

  • Luke forsook his rural upbringing to take part in a political campaign he had no place in.
  • Leah was a strong independent feminist.
  • Obi-Wan was a childless hippie who devoted his life to eastern mysticism.
  • Han is a wandering deadbeat who lives with his dog and is obsessed with his car.
  • Darth Vader abandoned his family to pursue his career.
  • The robots are in an openly gay relationship.
  • Everyone treats the empire like the great evil while fully enjoying the comforts and protections it provides.

In retrospect, Star Wars may have been a much darker commentary on the realities of Clown World’s politics than most of us realized at the time.

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Old Games are Best Games

You are not alone in your lack of interest in all the new games, as the WOWmaster himself observes:

60% of gameplay time was spend on games 6 years or older in 2023. Older TV shows dominate streaming networks as well.

This is not a coincidence, as streaming has prioritized wokeness over quality, and AAA have also prioritized profit and the narrative over fun.

This is why we fight.

Nobody wants to play the new stuff if it means being preached at and scolded while they destroy our most memorable IPs and characters.

There has always been a problem with the suits devoting all the resources to graphics while the designers fight, mostly in vain, to place the emphasis on gameplay. One need only compare the difference between the original Fantasy General, which I stil play from time to time, and its 3D successor, to understand why most of the time and money that went into “improving” the original game was not only wasted, but dowright detrimental.

Most, if not all, of the games that feature a substantive focus on gameplay are now in the independent space.

And that doesn’t even begin to get into the way in which convergence not only distracts from character, plot, and story, but downright destroys them, as the Dark Herald has chronicled repeatedly, and in great detail, on the Arkhaven blog. Mary Sue cannot be permitted to be less than strong, independent, and perfect in every way. The Magic Negro cannot be permitted to be less than saintly and beneficient. Saint Gay can never be less than charming, tolerant, and perfectly committed to the love of his gay life, whom he met approximately 5 seconds after coming out.

Convergence requires ideal caricatures, not strong characters. And the plot is always predictable, even more predictable than the pre-social justice Hellmouth plots were, because every episode has a moral that is more explicitly obvious than He-Man lecturing the kids at the end.

And so, we build our own entertainment, one meme, one short story, one RPG module, and one comics episode, at a time.

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Next Up for Retro-Demolition

The X-Files is being revived… in the usual converged manner:

  1. The X-Files is ‘set for reboot with original stars’:
  2. Mulder and Scully are both in.
  3. I just spoke to a young man, Ryan Coogler, who is going to remount The X-Files with a diverse cast,’ Carter said.

It’s not so much that there is going to be diversity in the show. That would merely reflect the reality in the USA circa 2024. But making a point of “a diverse cast” means that the show will prioritize the current-day Narrative over every element of good storytelling, which means the X-Files 2.0: Black Panther edition is likely to go over about as well as Amazon’s Ring’s of Power did.

Of which, I am proud to say, I have still not seen a single second, despite being an absolute and inveterate Tolkien fan.

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Just a Little Harmless Satanism

After an NFL tweet appeared to show rapper Ice Spice making “devil horn” hand gestures while wearing an inverted cross at Sunday’s game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers, fact-checking site Snopes and entertainment news site TMZ both ran stories pushing back on responses to the viral video.

While Snopes initially dismissed the social media response to the rapper’s necklace as “conspiracy theories,” the site later published an update that read, “This article was updated with reports that the cross worn by Ice Spice was indeed an inverted cross custom designed by Alex Moss.”

An earlier report from Snopes said the pendant appeared to be an equal-armed Greek cross rather than an inverted one — a notion refuted by Moss’ own social media, which clearly shows several images of the true shape of the necklace, along with other similar designs.

Snopes also disputed the notion that an inverted or upside-down is a satanic symbol, contrasting the symbol with the Cross of St. Peter, a Catholic symbol. “The belief that an inverted (upside-down) cross represents satanism, or literal devil-worship, is more widespread than it is accurate,” wrote Snopes fact-checker David Emery, who made a distinction between satanic groups in a previous fact-check on allegations involving Chelsea Clinton.

In a 2018 article entitled, “Does Chelsea Clinton Wear an Upside-Down ‘Satanic’ Cross?” Emery points out that while the so-called “Church of Satan … [does] not regard the inverted cross as an official symbol,” the inverted cross has a “more prominent place” with The Satanic Temple (TST,) which uses the symbol in one of its rituals. The article then offers a qualifier that while neither group shares “a literal belief” in the devil, they both “completely reject theism” and hold to “philosophies in rational self-interest and individualism instead.”

TMZ, meanwhile, assured its readers that the inverted cross had “no devil ties behind it whatsoever,” and even cropped an image on its website to inaccurately portray the cross necklace as more like a Greek cross rather than an inverted one. Describing the response from what TMZ called “pearl-clutchers,” the “exclusive” article said there was “nothing un-godly about this pendant at all — at least that’s what we’re being told anyway. It’s just a sweet piece of ice with no devil ties behind it whatsoever,” the post added. “Our sources assure us … there was nothing satanic behind the meaning/design of the piece.”

The TMZ report was less clear about the hand gesture seen being flashed by Taylor Swift’s suite guest at Allegiant Stadium on Sunday, making a single reference to the hand sign.

“A hand gesture she made at one point — quiet coyote — certainly didn’t help either with the unholy accusations,” TMZ wrote, in an apparent reference to the “quiet coyote” hand signal used by teachers and other adults to get children to “quiet down” and pay attention.

TMZ failed to elaborate further on this description.

Likewise, Snopes called the hand signal “harmless” and pushed back against suggestions that the Balenciaga wardrobe worn by Spice had any links to satanism despite the brand facing backlash in 2022 for an ad campaign that featured “disturbing images” of children.

When the satanic globalist pedophiles get literally caught in the act of sexually abusing children and sacrificing them to the Devil, I have no doubt whatsoever that Snopes and TMZ, along with the rest of the mainstream media, will be declaring that it is “harmless” and there is “nothing at all satanic, or even religious, about human sacrifice to a being that is nothing more than a

Frankly, far from soothing anyone’s supicions, these attempts to whitewash celebrity satanism raises some serious questions about whatever this “quiet coyote” hand signal that is being used by teachers – that’s not at all suspicious – and other adults happens to be. So, who are these “other adults”, exactly, and in what context are they making hand signals to children?

UPDATE: First, the “quiet coyote” hand sign was literally popularized by the Devil Mouse. So, it’s satanic in origin. Two, it’s not utilized in an upside-down manner anyhow.

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Awards are Gay and Literally Fake

ESPN was caught winning more than 30 Emmy Awards for individuals who are imaginary employees of the Disney network:

In March 2023, Shelley Smith, who worked 26 years as an on-air reporter for ESPN, received a call from Stephanie Druley, then the network’s head of studio and event production. Druley said she wanted to talk about something “serious” that needed to stay between the two of them, Smith recalled. She then told Smith that Smith needed to return two sports Emmy statuettes that she had been given more than a decade earlier.

That request was one of many ESPN made of some of its biggest stars last year after the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (NATAS), the organization that administers the Emmys, uncovered a scheme that the network used to acquire more than 30 of the coveted statuettes for on-air talent ineligible to receive them. Since at least 2010, ESPN inserted fake names in Emmy entries, then took the awards won by some of those imaginary individuals, had them re-engraved and gave them to on-air personalities… The fraud was discovered by NATAS, which prompted an investigation by that organization and later by ESPN.

Sadly, it turns out that the legendary, award-winning broadcasters Kirk Henry, Lee Clark, and Dirk Howard don’t even exist.

Now, I’m fairly notorious for my indifference to awards. I’ve understood that most of them are nothing but popularity contests or marketing tools since my junior year of high school. And that’s not sour grapes or anything; I declined my high school’s attempt to invent a fake award when the soccer team coach wrongly felt I’d been robbed when the MVP award went to the spiritual leader of our undefeated team instead of to the leading scorer.

But a lot of people take them seriously even though they prove absolutely nothing about excellence or quality. And even if you weren’t convinced of that by the Sad/Rabid Puppies campaigns, or the fact that Mark Clifton and Frank Riley won the 1955 Hugo Award for their unforgettable novel They’d Rather Be Right over some little book written by an English professor called The Lord of the Rings, I should hope that ESPN winning 30 Emmies for people who don’t even exist would suffice.

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Not So Good at Math

Jewish actors complain that their people are underrepresented in Hollywood. Seriously:

Over 260 Jewish Hollywood artists have sent the Academy Awards a letter claiming that they are being excluded from its diversity standards. The letter, which states the exclusion is ‘discriminatory,’ was created by the Jew in the City’s Hollywood Bureau for Jewish Representation and was sent to the Academy yesterday. It has been signed by actors including David Schwimmer, Debra Messing, Ginnifer Goodwin, Mayim Bialik and Josh Gad; comedians, writers and producers.

In 2020, notably after George Floyd’s death, the Academy issued a set of ‘standards’ as part of its diversity initiative. These standards recognized commonly ‘underrepresented’ identities, including women, the LGBTQ, an underrepresented racial or ethnic group, or those with cognitive or physical disabilities.

Some of the racial groups include Asian, Hispanic/Latinx, Black/African American, Indigenous/Native American/Alaskan Native, Middle Eastern/North African and Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander. Religions are not included in the standards.

Jewish entertainers including David Schwimmer and Debra Messing excoriate the Oscars for excluding Jews from its new diversity standards, THE DAILY MAIL, 10 January 2024

This is akin to blacks sending a letter to the NBA whining about being underrepresented in professional basketball, or Irish people complaining that they are underrepresented in the IRA. And apparently the clown nose is off at the moment; as the signatories inform us that being Jewish is not a religion, but an ethnicity.

The statistical reality is that if proportional representation was actually enforced in Hollywood, there would be considerably fewer Jewish actors, writers, and producers employed there, and a considerably more Asians, Hispanics, and American Indians. You’d have thought that Mayim Bialik, at the very least, would have been capable of doing the relevant demographic math.

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Black Doctor Who

What a brave, stunning, and totally unpredicted move by the BBC! What a triumph of inclusivity, equality, and creative genius! And when the show’s ratings start next season in the loo and go further downhill from there, we’ll all know that it is the unmitigated racism of the British people that is solely responsible for its failure.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 15th Doctor Who!

The sad thing is that Black Doctor Who is actually a concept that could be more than a little entertaining, except it would require actual black people to write and produce what would essentially begin as a parody in the vein of the 1970s films. I mean, who wouldn’t think a gangster Time Lord traveling around time with a blinged-out Tardis full of smoke and skanked-out street entrepreneurs wasn’t at least moderately amusing? Especially if Flavor Flav was the Black Doctor.

Or better yet, Snoop.

But I doubt there is a single British screenwriter who would even dare to imagine writing such a script, and certainly none working for the BBC.

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