Love on the Spectrum is back in the U.S. and with a new group of autistic people looking for love. In Season 1, we met people like Dani, a highly motivated and focused animator; Subodh, who’s been single all his life and eager to change that (and whose mother feels ill-equipped to help him navigate American dating culture); and Steve, a more recently diagnosed 63-year-old who wants to give his long-abandoned dream of finding a special someone another chance now that he’s beginning to better understand himself. In Season 2, we check back in with some of these familiar faces and follow the romantic journeys of a few new people on the spectrum as well.
With Love on the Spectrum U.S., co-creator, director and producer Cian O’Clery has made an American version of his popular Australian docuseries. It wasn’t just a chance to apply a proven format to a new location. It was an opportunity to tell more stories and to contribute to a better understanding of the complexity and diversity of life on the spectrum. “We wanted to see a breadth of people, with some people that have low support needs and some people that have high support needs,” O’Clery tells Tudum. “For us, that was the most important thing, representing that, so that people don’t make assumptions about someone just because of a diagnosis.”
"Acceptance means that everyone has an equitable opportunity to live fully," shares Christopher Banks, president and CEO of Autism Society of America. “Our stories connect us — to our loved ones, strangers, and the world around us. By asking our community questions about health, safety, employment, relationships and more, we can amplify the diverse experiences of the Autism community as we continue to advocate for necessary supports.”
Fans of the series likely know O’Clery already. You can often hear his voice off-screen, offering words of support and encouragement and even bantering with his subjects. Instead of asking cast members to pretend that he’s not there or editing out his interactions with them in post-production, he willingly engages with them from behind the camera.
Below, O’Clery switches roles and becomes the subject, while I, an autistic person, ask him a few questions.
You can find more information on how to support the autistic community and learn about Autism Society’s "Road to Acceptance" initiative here.
How did you first come up with the idea for Love on the Spectrum?
I made a couple of series in Australia with [Love on the Spectrum co-executive producer] Karina Holden that were about people with disabilities looking for work. During that process, we met lots and lots of people on the spectrum. Not only did we get to know the people we were filming really well, but we also spoke to hundreds and hundreds of people on the spectrum about their lives and what was important to them. The story of people wanting to find love and wanting to date just kept coming up. To us, that was something that wasn’t right. There was obviously a lack of support, and it just felt like a really interesting area to shine a light on.
The other thing that we noticed was the diversity of the spectrum and just how different people can be. That’s the most important thing that we can do with this series, to show that huge diversity that people don’t really understand. I should note, as well, it’s really important to acknowledge that not everybody who is on the spectrum needs support in the world of dating and relationships. Everyone’s so different. But a lot of people do, and a lot of people we spoke to did and were really calling out for that.
Are you aware of any specific holes in your understanding of autism, or is there anything that you’d like to learn more about?
I don’t know. I think the most important thing is to never assume that you’re an expert, which I’m not. You’re always going to learn new things.
Something that I loved about the original series — and that I was very happy to see continued in the US version — was how you allowed your subjects to break the fourth wall. What was the motivation behind that particular choice?
Firstly, with the master interviews, it became something that just felt right when there was a bit of conversation at times. It wasn’t something that was planned. Interestingly, a lot of people in the series, especially in the Australian series, were dating for the very first time with the cameras and with us there. A lot of people will say, “Oh, that must have been really difficult and really scary for the participants.” But actually, what we found was that it was almost helpful because we were a support network. So a person’s not out there alone in this scary world they’ve never experienced before, just one on one. If things aren’t going right, we’re there, we’re supporting. It feels like we’re sort of all in it together.
One of the big changes in the US version is that you brought in a relationship expert who is autistic herself. Did you notice any differences in Jennifer Cook’s teaching style compared to what we saw in the Australian show?
Jodi [Rogers, the expert from the Australian Love on the Spectrum seasons] has worked in the sector for so long, and people just absolutely love working one-on-one with her. I think sometimes some people can be critical, saying that it’s neurotypical people teaching autistic people to be neurotypical. I don’t agree with that. Of course, sometimes, that is probably something that does happen in the world.
Jennifer explains it really well. For example, she talks about how everyone’s on the human spectrum. She’s really teaching skills for people to be able to operate in society in a way that helps them in their life. And she's only teaching skills to people who want that. Again, that's really important to make a note of is that we're not saying to people, “Hey, you don't know how to date and you need to get taught this by someone!” It's not that at all. It’s people saying “I have trouble with communication and social interaction. Can you help me to understand?” Jennifer has that immediate sense of understanding of where people are coming from, in a lot of ways. But I would never say that she does it better. I think they have different ways of working, and they’re both a credit to work with.
As an autistic writer, I think a lot about how few opportunities there are for autistic people to tell their own stories compared to non-autistic writers, directors and documentarians. I believe in your sincerity here and you are highlighting autistic voices. But you still have a platform that not many autistic people have and are likely taken more seriously because you’re neurotypical. Is that something you’re mindful of?
First and foremost, I don’t believe that, if somebody is from a certain community, they can only tell stories about their community. I think there shouldn’t be any rules about who is allowed to be a storyteller. Otherwise, I think somebody like me, who’s a documentary maker, could only make stories about somebody like me, and I don’t think that’s the way the world should work.
With journalism, as well as in the world of fiction and drama, I think it’s really important that if, for example, somebody’s creating an autistic character, that there’s involvement from people who are on the spectrum. For something like this series, the great thing is that these are real people whose stories we’re telling. If they’re happy for their stories to be told, that’s the most important thing. Of course, it’s important to listen to what people from the community are saying. And yes, sometimes there are people who have critical things to say about the series. But we really try. We do have people on the spectrum as part of our team. That’s important to us. One of the great things about the US series for us was having Jennifer Cook involved. She’s not there because she’s on the spectrum. She’s there because she’s good at her job. The fact that she’s on the spectrum is great, and it adds to the importance and depth of her involvement.
When we were going into production on the US series, we were trying to find people who could come on and work with us. The guy we actually ended up employing [for a senior role on the production team], Evan, came to us through Inclusion Films, which is Joey Travolta’s organization. They train people on the spectrum to work in film and TV. So, there’s great things being done to try and help people from certain communities to get places.
I’m not someone who believes that only autistic people should tell autistic stories. But I am a firm believer that people who want to participate in autistic stories should be thoughtful about their place and how they engage with the community.
Absolutely. 100%. It's so, so important. I’ve questioned it. Sometimes I’m like, “Oh God.” It’s a big responsibility, right? We didn’t know it was going to be this big when we made the series for Australia. It was based on people we’d worked with and kind of thought it was a nice little story to tell. And now it’s one of the most out-there representations of autism in the media. I don’t take that lightly. It’s always questioning if we’re doing it right, always thinking about it and always listening to people when it comes to feedback. Again, that’s why it’s so great to have Jennifer involved. She just was a great supporter of the show and of how we do things. She was there when we were filming, and she saw how we work with people and how we tell our stories. And she's been really positive about the experience, which is good.
Quite often, when accommodations are put in place for disabled people, they end up benefiting and helping a lot of other people, too. Are there any steps that you’ve taken to accommodate autistic people in Love on the Spectrum that you can see benefiting non-autistic subjects in the future?
Probably. But I guess it comes back to everyone being different. That doesn’t mean that I’m not going to work with somebody differently because they’re autistic. I’m going to work with Kaelynn, not Kaelynn the Autistic Person. I’ve done other series working with people with all sorts of different disabilities, whether that be an intellectual or physical disability. I made a series about mental health. I’ve worked with people who are having full psychotic breakdowns. And every show that you do, every subject that you tackle, you work with in a way you feel is right for them. Of course, every show that you do and every subject that you tackle, you’re going to learn different things.
That’s the thing about invisible disability. There’s a lot going on and a lot of stress and there can be a lot of exhaustion to do with socializing that you don’t see. Know that there can always be things going on with people that you’re not seeing.
You have two seasons under your belt, and years of getting to know your subjects. How has the dynamic evolved between you?
There’s definitely a close relationship, and I would consider many of them (and their families) friends. I do try as much as possible when we’re filming (especially when filming a date) to melt into the background and allow the participants to be in the moment, but having said that, they know that if they ever feel uncomfortable or want some time out, or just have a question, that me (and my fabulous team) are there.
Have those changes affected who guides the interview and conversations, what types of new dynamics, situations, or set-ups you're able to shoot now? What are you able to do know when it comes to storytelling?
I don’t see too much changing in terms of what we can or can’t film, to be honest everyone has been very open and honest from the get go. It has actually been a really nice thing to see that openness and willingness to be vulnerable from the start. I think exploring things a bit deeper with Dani, and talking about her sexual desires in Season 2 comes from that building of trust over time. And I’m really glad we could explore that, because as she says, she’s a 28-year-old woman. Why shouldn’t we be talking about it!
Many viewers of Love on the Spectrum consider this show their first introduction to the autism spectrum. For those audiences in particular, what do you want them to take away?
I think for all of us involved (not just me but Karina, Northern Pictures, my producing team and the cast themselves), the most important thing we can do with this series is to introduce audiences to a diverse range of autistic people, telling their stories in their own voices. Showing that autism is a very wide ranging condition, and that assumptions about someone based on a diagnosis are unhelpful and often untrue.
Has shooting this show affected your own love life and how you forge new relationships with people?
To tell the truth, I think making this series has really reinforced the fact that being kind, respectful, honest and seeing people for who they are inside and what their values are is so important — and that includes introspection, it sounds corny but it does make me want to be a better person — Which probably helps me with my own relationships. There are so many dating shows out there that focus on what someone looks like, and become a brutal game of killing off the weak and celebrating the alpha people of the world. It’s nice to be able to make a show that celebrates kindness, and nice people!
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
